Scared #$#Less of strange women (romanticly)

Postby Connor » Wed Aug 23, 2017 8:05 am

I've kinda procrastinated with my life for a good couple of years. I hid behind my studies instead of taking on the real world. I'm 32 now and in the last 2 years I've started to get my life together. I'm in a stable job. Went from mattress sales person to volunteer, to a "paid volunteer" to manager in a very short time. This year alone, with a little bit of help, I purchased a flat that im renting out. I've upgraded my car and got things like a pension plan, health insurance and such going. All and all I'm putting my life back together "as it should be", while trying to cope with irrational anxieties.


What is missing is a partner. Now I've joined a dating site, but find myself anxious to chat to women. Even more so ones I find really pretty. What if we chat for 2 weeks, make an emotional connection, meet and she doesn't like me. It has happened in the past. It sucks big time. I'm not the strongest, hottest or riches dude in the world but I'm okay i guess. pfff...Love is complicated. It's my own fault. I look for the smallest little flaws in people in any case, then just keep to the left. Probably think others will do the same to me. AAAAAHHHHH my own worst enemy!!!!
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#1

Postby Translucent » Thu Aug 24, 2017 1:39 am

I don't like dating sites because I find them to be unnatural. I'd rather meet my partner in a different environment, such as walking my dog, church, interest groups, etc. But who am I to talk as I am currently single. Good luck
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#2

Postby quietvoice » Thu Aug 24, 2017 1:48 am

Connor wrote:What if we chat for 2 weeks, make an emotional connection, meet and she doesn't like me.

Which makes this a good rule to follow regarding "dating" sites—Meet As Soon As Possible!!

The longer you chat and don't meet, the bigger the fantasy is built, and the bigger the let down when you finally meet and find that the "chemistry" just isn't there.
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#3

Postby laureat » Thu Aug 24, 2017 3:32 am

- "what is missing is a partner " you said
Well you should learn to be comfortable with that until you find the right person- you dont want to be desperate about finding a partner - as that can easy lead you to the wrong partner

- anxious when i chat with women -
Sure your anxious , its the desire to have one of those - and the more you want it, anxiety increase

- what if we chat two weeks and she doesnt like you when you meet-

Well you have to enjoy the moment with the woman, you dont want to bother with infinity possibilities what could possible happen

It has happen in the past?

Well that can be the basic problem why you becoming anxious around women because you remember bad memories with someone now its natural to predict it may happen again,but it doesnt always happen again

Im not the hottest, richest,

you dont really need to be special one to simply have a partner: however you have to make your partner feel you are special and she is special
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