Can't f***ing speak properly now, will this ever get better

Postby Flucktoo » Fri Sep 22, 2017 9:31 pm

I've made a pact to myself, and if things never get better, I'm going to slowly kill myself with heroin addiction. This might seems extreme to many people, but that just goes to show how deeply this is really affecting me. I'm not going to live the rest of my life unable to form close relationships or speak my mind, **** that. I didn't even smoke for more than half a year and **** me I can't even talk to my friends anymore. I don't know how to reply to all their conversation starters, and just can't get close to people. I mean to say something, but it comes out in jumbled sentences and long pauses. I started smoking weed when I was soon to be 15, and I'm just worried I've really f***ed my brain up. Anyone got any recovery stories? You never know, I might get bored of waiting to heal and end it sooner, life is pretty shitty anyway. I've been mostly sober for 3 months now
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#1

Postby cleanofgreen » Fri Sep 22, 2017 10:07 pm

From my own experience of giving up, the worst was from 6 weeks to the 6 months mark. And even then it was only from 9 months on that i started to feel 90% normal again. I hate to be the one to break it to the new quitters here but if you've been smoking high grade every day for over 6 months its going to take a long time to get your brain back to normal again. Healthy eating, multivitamins, b-complex, omega-3 and at least 30 mins of high intensity exercise 6 days a week is the best remedy to get you through. Once you get to nine months though, you will be back to normal . Hang in there and get the exercise going.

Stay Strong
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#2

Postby JoeBloggs » Fri Sep 22, 2017 11:22 pm

Get help from a doctor. Turn your life around.
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#3

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Sep 22, 2017 11:44 pm

How old are you now?
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#4

Postby Flucktoo » Sat Sep 23, 2017 10:22 am

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:How old are you now?

I'm still 15
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#5

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sat Sep 23, 2017 12:08 pm

Flucktoo wrote: I started smoking weed when I was soon to be 15, and I'm just worried I've really f***ed my brain up. You never know, I might get bored of waiting to heal and end it sooner, life is pretty shitty anyway. I've been mostly sober for 3 months now


You are still 15. So you smoked weed for less than 12 months. Your brain can easily heal.

Marijuana is not your problem. Your desire to be dramatic and paint yourself as some poor victim that can't hold a conversation and can't socialize is going to be a much, much bigger and more difficult issue. Playing the helpless individual will be your real challenge in life. People will quickly tire of your victim, woe is me mentality, and this will simply make things seem worse as the community deals with your bouts of self-pity.

Learned helplessness. Look into it. I say learned, because at the young age of 15 you didn't develop this "poor me" mindset all by yourself. You learned to act helpless from somewhere. Playing the "woe is me" card worked in your past, probably in early childhood. You never were taught healthy ways to deal or handle perceived problems, so you learned to cope by lamenting and playing the role of martyr.

I recommend you spend some serious time reflecting on how you learned to believe that you are a poor, helpless individual. The key word is believe, as you are obviously not helpless. It is only a dysfunctional belief that served you well at some point in the past.
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#6

Postby Flucktoo » Sat Sep 23, 2017 1:18 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
Flucktoo wrote: I started smoking weed when I was soon to be 15, and I'm just worried I've really f***ed my brain up. You never know, I might get bored of waiting to heal and end it sooner, life is pretty shitty anyway. I've been mostly sober for 3 months now


You are still 15. So you smoked weed for less than 12 months. Your brain can easily heal.

Marijuana is not your problem. Your desire to be dramatic and paint yourself as some poor victim that can't hold a conversation and can't socialize is going to be a much, much bigger and more difficult issue. Playing the helpless individual will be your real challenge in life. People will quickly tire of your victim, woe is me mentality, and this will simply make things seem worse as the community deals with your bouts of self-pity.

Learned helplessness. Look into it. I say learned, because at the young age of 15 you didn't develop this "poor me" mindset all by yourself. You learned to act helpless from somewhere. Playing the "woe is me" card worked in your past, probably in early childhood. You never were taught healthy ways to deal or handle perceived problems, so you learned to cope by lamenting and playing the role of martyr.

I recommend you spend some serious time reflecting on how you learned to believe that you are a poor, helpless individual. The key word is believe, as you are obviously not helpless. It is only a dysfunctional belief that served you well at some point in the past.

Thanks god I read this while on Oxys, my ego would've got very triggered. You're maybe right, I have no idea. To be honest, I don't see this as me being much of a victim, and more of me just going - alright, well I can't get close to people anymore, so **** my life. I have been doing so much and trying so hard to get better, so I'm not just laying here getting f***ed in the donkey by life - I'm actively doing things. I saw you reply to someone else's post and you really pissed them off, I think seeing as you're on a supportive addiction forum, maybe approach people with more warmth.
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#7

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sat Sep 23, 2017 2:09 pm

Flucktoo wrote:Thanks god I read this while on Oxys, my ego would've got very triggered. You're maybe right, I have no idea. To be honest, I don't see this as me being much of a victim, and more of me just going - alright, well I can't get close to people anymore, so **** my life. I have been doing so much and trying so hard to get better, so I'm not just laying here getting f***ed in the donkey by life - I'm actively doing things. I saw you reply to someone else's post and you really pissed them off, I think seeing as you're on a supportive addiction forum, maybe approach people with more warmth.


Again, learned helplessness.

Somewhere you learned that but for Oxys, you are a victim. Thank god for a chemical substance or you wouldn't be able to handle words written on a computer screen. You learned somewhere to be helpless, that you are to be a dependent rather than independent person. Reflect on where you developed such dysfunctional beliefs.

Yes, some do not like my posts. Others do enjoy my posts and have expressed their thanks for my direct opinions. Regardless, does liking or disliking what I post make the advice any less true? Is that the standard you use to judge if something is true, whether or not it makes you feel good?

Stop playing the role of victim.
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#8

Postby quietvoice » Sat Sep 23, 2017 5:57 pm

Stop trying so hard. Stop trying. Do something ONLY if you feel inspired to do that thing. Do nothing else. Let it rest.

Don't worry about talking to people. Speak only the truth, only if necessary, only from kindness.

Become a reader of books that uplift and inspire.

P.S. The Ego is only a bunch of thoughts, believed to be you. Stop believing that those thoughts matter, and your "ego" won't be hurt.
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#9

Postby LondonScouse » Sat Sep 23, 2017 11:34 pm

I also know how it feels to be unable to connect to others, don't know what to say etc - For me these symptoms came from smoking weed daily.

I haven't quit properly yet, but i did quit one time for 5 months.

It was around the 4th month where I saw some improvements...so i know it can get better, but i made a stupid decision and went back to smoking daily...

But yeh, I know how you feel, and it makes you realize the complexities associated with social interaction...Before weed f***ed me up, social stuff was natural
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#10

Postby Flucktoo » Sun Sep 24, 2017 12:05 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
Flucktoo wrote:Thanks god I read this while on Oxys, my ego would've got very triggered. You're maybe right, I have no idea. To be honest, I don't see this as me being much of a victim, and more of me just going - alright, well I can't get close to people anymore, so **** my life. I have been doing so much and trying so hard to get better, so I'm not just laying here getting f***ed in the donkey by life - I'm actively doing things. I saw you reply to someone else's post and you really pissed them off, I think seeing as you're on a supportive addiction forum, maybe approach people with more warmth.


Again, learned helplessness.

Somewhere you learned that but for Oxys, you are a victim. Thank god for a chemical substance or you wouldn't be able to handle words written on a computer screen. You learned somewhere to be helpless, that you are to be a dependent rather than independent person. Reflect on where you developed such dysfunctional beliefs.

Yes, some do not like my posts. Others do enjoy my posts and have expressed their thanks for my direct opinions. Regardless, does liking or disliking what I post make the advice any less true? Is that the standard you use to judge if something is true, whether or not it makes you feel good?

Stop playing the role of victim.

The problem with you is you seem to think you know someone just by reading some of what they've written? You think I'm playing a helpless victim? Cool. But you don't know anything about me, and you don't know what's happened to me throughout my life as I didn't put it in my post. You're not a psychologist, I know you use self deprecation in your bio to prevent people from saying that, but you're not. None of what you said was true, and I no, I didn't need Oxys to "handle the truth", I was in a happy state where I could look at your comment in an unbiased state with no corruption by a defensive ego, and all of what you said was still wrong
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#11

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Sep 24, 2017 1:21 pm

Flucktoo wrote: But you don't know anything about me, and you don't know what's happened to me throughout my life as I didn't put it in my post.


Where, where, where did you learn this crap? Seriously, I'm curious. Your parents, friends, a teacher, social media? You truly have been thoroughly indoctrinated to be helpless. The above is the identity excuse.

The identity excuse is the trained, learned defense of the helpless. When someone offers advice you don't like, tell them they don't know you. The next step is to say that regardless of what advice is provided, the person providing advice can't possibly understand you as they have not experienced your life. It is the classic thought process of the victim.

"You don't know me, you have never experienced my life, you don't know what it is like to be (insert label here)."

This excuse of victimhood is pervasive in society, so I'm not actually surprised a vulnerable 15 year old has bought into it.

It only takes but a little bit of logic to see the flaw in the 'identity excuse' ideology, but at 15 you have not yet developed critical thinking skills. Stop listening to your current teachers in life that are keeping you a victim. Find new, better role models that do not believe in victimhood.

And I do know something about you. You have Internet access. You have shelter, food, water, and electricity. You have access to drugs. You have access to education and health care. You are a lucky, fortunate 15 year old, but you have been indoctrinated to believe you are helpless.

BTW, I actually am a psychologist :shock:
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#12

Postby quietvoice » Sun Sep 24, 2017 1:34 pm

Flucktoo wrote:Thanks god I read this while on Oxys, my ego would've got very triggered.

Flucktoo wrote:None of what you said was true, and I no, I didn't need Oxys to "handle the truth", I was in a happy state where I could look at your comment in an unbiased state with no corruption by a defensive ego, and all of what you said was still wrong

Do you see how your statements are contradictory?
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#13

Postby quietvoice » Sun Sep 24, 2017 1:55 pm

Flucktoo wrote: I've been mostly sober for 3 months now

If you are taking other drugs (including alcohol), do you not see that they would have an effect on your state of mental and physical health, and your concerns may not all be related to marijuana withdrawal?

Edit:
And this statement here is not in the mainstream thinking—even cooked foods are drugs, and most of the world's population is (unwittingly) addicted and suffering from the effects of it—witness the huge medical industry.
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#14

Postby LondonScouse » Sun Sep 24, 2017 2:26 pm

Lay of the kid...

Truth is, none of you know how it is to be him, so if you're not going to offer valuable advice, there is no need to try and make yourself feel better by putting the kid down.

Can you not read his initial message ? look at his symptoms -

"I'm not going to live the rest of my life unable to form close relationships or speak my mind, **** that. I didn't even smoke for more than half a year and **** me I can't even talk to my friends anymore. I don't know how to reply to all their conversation starters, and just can't get close to people. I mean to say something, but it comes out in jumbled sentences and long pauses."

The kid's social part of his brain has clearly been negatively affected from his use of cannabis. He isn't the only YOUNG person to complain of these symptoms. Yes, there are many similar threads on this forum that date back years. NONE of them ever said they recovered, and ALL of them consist of young males who smoked excessively while their brains were developing. This isn't simply 'anxiety' or 'learned helplessness', this is STRUCTURAL AND FUNCTIONAL ALTERATIONS TO HIS BRAIN. if YOU haven't suffered any brain damage from smoking cannabis, than good for you, but there is no need to put a young kid down who is a bit lost and doesn't know what to do. All he wants is some real answers as to why he isn't back to 'normal'.

He quit for 3 months yet he doesn't feel normal. Most people feel normal within 1 week of abstinence, yet it has been 3 long months for him, and he still doesn't feel even remotely close to normal.

Look at these threads. Look at the similarities. Clearly weed is detrimental to a developing brain.

www.uncommonforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=94571

www.uncommonforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=95773

www.uncommonforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=95028

Do all of these people have learned helplessness ? I very much doubt it Mr psychologist.
Last edited by LondonScouse on Sun Sep 24, 2017 2:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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