Hate my family soooooo much. Its unbelievable!!!

Postby Jenifo » Tue Sep 26, 2017 8:03 pm

Hi all.I just dont know what to do any more i just hate each and every single person in my home like honestly if they could all just die (especially my brother) i would be extremely happy. My family is really messed up like really there is nothing anyone can do. Family has tried, elders have tried but its useless. Well my dad is so dilusional its unbelievable he left us in 2009 to go sleep with his employee therefore he has refused to pay for our school fees and buy food and even buy us clothes so obviously my mom goes to court and fights for maintenance and also puts an application in for him to be forced to pay for our school fees (and my college fees). He is so stupid that he told me that he does not want to payfor me to go to college coz he wants me to go to university like really WTF. He was a dumbass when he was in school and failed university like 3 years in a row and now wants to tell me crap about university. I chose to go to the college im currently attending coz its really good and half of the graduates ends up with a well paying job after so i really dont know what hes on about. I hate my dad so much and hes just been so hostile towards me since i was 10 for no reason he always tries to put the blame on someone else when really its him who is wrong. He never admits his mistake and when he does he always tries to find an excuse for why he was wrong. He is emotionally and verbally abusive and always tries to put me down. But thanks to his years of emotional abuse i feel nothing, absolutely nothing when he calls me a pathological liar, dubious person and any other crap that he has to say. Sometimes i can go 2 months without speaking, even texting him and when he misses us he then decides to call or send a message. and all i do is just ignore him. If i never speak to him in my life again i will be a happier person, Now that's just the tip of the iceberg in my home with my mom, brother and sister its a living hell, no like seriously im not even lying. They are all such dirty pigs that do not know how to care after themselves, seriously as old as my mother is (48) she cannot clean her room and keep it modest for even 2 days!!!! Then when i have assignments and tests due thats when she all of a sudden decides that we need to clean up. This leaves me with little or no time to complete my work and when i dont get good enough marks shes the first to open her trap. My father gives her our maintenance money and in addition to that she works but she acts as if that monthly maintenance we recieve is the only money we have that month meanwhile she doesnt want to spend even a quarter of her salary. She also uses our monthly maintenance for her own personal things. Its not like we dont have food but honestly we should be living life much better than when my dad was here but i see little or no difference. She also has a foul mouth and tends to always put me and everyone else down. When we fight in the home she tells us that if anyone wants to runaway and leave to the house they are free to do so. I mean like WTF which mother who loves her children will tell them you can runaway if u want!!! She used to frequently call me and my siblings useless, pigs, careless, stupid, fools,lazy and always says we lack commonsense. But last time i checked i was not the one with a failed marriage and a husband who left me to be with another woman. In addition to my dad leaving i honestly dont hold him100% responsible coz no man would stay with a woman like my mother she is a sly character who would lie and honestly do anythjng to get her way. She shouts for every effen thing. "Why are plates not washed?" She shoutes. "Why didnt u do that/this?" She shouts like honsetly she screams for every petty thing. Shes probably venting out the anger and the fact that she doesnt have a husband. All shes concerned about is improving herself in life and making everyone jealous,well as far as she thinks...she is so jealous that my dad is with another woman like honstly if she sees them anywhere together she'll make a scene doesnt matter were we are shell start calling my dads gf a husband snatcher and just start telling random strangers to be careful coz that lady is a husband snatcher. She always tells us that she doesnt want him back and that she doesnt need a man in her life but yet she is alwaaayyss talking about him to us. Like she is so obsessed with him and wants to see him suffer in every way possible so that she gets what she wanted. Then we move on to my brother. He is the most ugliest, thinnest, most stupid boy ever. Ohhh god i hate him so much he is soooooooooooooooooo stubborn like im about to pull my hair out i can honestly stab him to death right now. Hes actually just like my dad i can see the similar traits which i belive he will display towards his future children. (Thats if anyone will be stupid enough to have his children) . Then theres my sister....shes a dog. Yes a dog. Sge has no respect as young as she is she does not respect me and i am 10 years her senior and yet she treats me as if im her doll. Sometimes i feel like beating her up to death but my mom did not train her and so she just leaves her when she calls me names and is rude to me. But its always so unfair because when i was her age if i just did 1% of what she does today i would have the hell beaten out of me but she can call someone older than her in front of their face stupid and she gets away with it alllll the time. She is actually just like my mom, developing her exact traits and attitude toward things in life. Im only in my first year of college so im still gonna be in this hell hole before i can get a stable job and leave this stupid family. I do not know what to do anymore if i could just wipe out this entire family i would. I see other families and always ask why why why why just why i had to be picked to be in this sh**. Part of such a disillusioned family with no hope for the future. Im even having a headache actually thinking about how much i hate all of them and want out. This familybis actually a motivation for me to do well, graduate and just travel halfway across the world and never ever make any contact with them again!!!!!
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Sep 28, 2017 1:22 am

Okay, so let me understand. You are an adult going to college. You don't have a job? Yet you have a warm bed, clothing, food, and opportunity that many young adults don't have.

Or did I get this wrong? You are an adult with a job, paying for all of your living expenses and your education?
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#2

Postby quietvoice » Thu Sep 28, 2017 1:51 am

*
My, that was quite the rant.

Jenifo wrote:I'm only in my first year of college . . . I do not know what to do anymore if i could just wipe out this entire family i would.

This one's easy, or rather simple, to answer, though it may not be easy to carry out—get a job and move on out of there. Leave your family in the dust.

Any objections?
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#3

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Sep 28, 2017 2:08 pm

quietvoice wrote:*
Leave your family in the dust.

Any objections?


Very good solution. None of those pesky legal problems that happen when you kill them, not to mention possible moral barriers, cleaning up the bodies, etc. etc.

But for some reason, I think our OP will reject your idea, because leaving them in the dust means she will have to suddenly be a full fledged adult and pay for everything herself. She won't get all the comfy amenities in life her horrible, nasty family provides. It is quite unbelievable indeed!
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#4

Postby JuliusFawcett » Sun Oct 01, 2017 4:27 pm

Find a way of leaving. There are a million other options than staying.
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#5

Postby Jenifo » Tue Oct 24, 2017 8:29 pm

Well i am 19 so i am considered an adult legally. No i do not have a job and still live with my parents (well with my mom coz my dad left home a couple of years ago). I know i do sound ungrateful as i have a roof over my head and my education is being paid for, i do appreciate these particular aspects. But what i do not appreciate is being treated like a freakin animal!!!!!!! Yesterday my mom completely lost her brains when she couldn't find a certain ingredient that she needed while she was cooking, JESUS!!!!!! You should have seen her reaction. Long story short she called me, my brother and sister to look for this "ingredient" in the kitchen cupboards but i clearky remembered she used it all up 2 weeks back when we had visitors. When told her this she began swearing and said she never used it all up. After she accused us of throwing it away then we told her that we would never throw something that we still see is left over then she said:"dont tell me that u didnt throw it away!!!" After that she started throwing out all the other food out of the cupboards and kept on cursing. After that she said this: "i am clearly living with useless people." Her exact words. Its not my fault that she has short term or bad memory. Arggghhhhhh i was furious. I felt like shutting myself in my room forever. I have such a hatred for her when she does and says things like this as it makes me feel completely useless and not being abke to accomplish anything fruitful in my life.

My only motivation is to excell in my studies, graduate and get the hell outta here. When i leave i will not communicate with even 1 of them. I believe my life will have more meaning and purpose than it has now. As for my mom, she can just go to hell. I hate when she treats me like this and believes she is always right and even when i try to reason with her she says things like: "are u telling me that im lying?" or "do u think i dont know what im saying?" So i just tend to keep quiet and just allow her to rant. The next day shes trying to "make friends" with me and starts randomly taliking to me as if she didnt just shout at me the day before. She probably thinks im a fool if she thinks she can continue to pull this stunt.

Really i feel so exhausted and i sometimes feel so depressed which interferes with my studies and day-to-day activities. I reallly geuss there's nothing anyone can do to get rid of my family and never see them again. Well i could get married and live very very very far them lol. But I'll probably kill myself b4 even getting married :(. I hate this, i hate my life and my family. Like really?!?! Why meee, ?!? I genuinely an easy going person whowants a simple, normal life, why, just why???? Well i geuss what doesn't kill u makes u stronger and i had to build a wall to protect myself against my parents and their emotional and verbal abuse so i guess thats a bargain from all this trash im going thru
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#6

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue Oct 24, 2017 9:30 pm

Wow, an adult called another adult useless?! That should be illegal! If she tried that stunt in here, she would be banned from the forum for making an ad hominem attack on you! I can only imagine all the micro aggressions that you suffer from.

Yes, parents should not call their children useless. I agree with you. But your dramatic overaction says way more about your potential for future success than any grades or degree you might obtain. If that is all it takes to make you exhausted, what do you think will happen when you get a professional job and are expected to perform work to meet a clients request? Do you think your bosses, coworkers, clients, etc. will all be rational, warm fuzzy people that make you feel capable and good about yourself? Or do you think that you will just quit and run far, far away anytime someone says something which offends you?

At 19, you had a choice when this adult verbally attacked you. You could have told her to #$&* off. You don’t have to hide in your room, you are an adult for @#$& sake, so start acting like one. You even had the choice not to even go to the kitchen. Stand up for yourself! Oh, but you are afraid. Afraid of what exactly? Not having those comfy bills paid for, the same way you will be afraid of a boss and losing that comfy paycheck.

Given the current way that you see yourself, as a victim, I imagine in a year our two you will be posting in here about the topic: Hate my job sooooo much. It’s unbelievable!!!

No, it is not unbelievable. It is nowhere near unbelievable. It is mildly unfortunate that an adult verbally attacks you. What is more unfortunate is how you have learned, or better yet how you have not learned to respond. That is probably another unfortunate aspect of how you were raised, your parents not teaching you the abilities you need to survive outside the home.

The good news is that at 19 you can teach yourself. The first rule, is take full responsibility for being an adult and stop playing the role of victim. You can leave that situation if you want. But, you won’t. Instead you complain about how awful it is, while eating the food that is cooked for you.
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#7

Postby quietvoice » Tue Oct 24, 2017 11:19 pm

There's a price to pay for the things we want. If you want [this place] to stay that provides meals and a secondary education, apparently the price to pay is to put up with the way you are treated at [this place].

Or else, if you don't want to put up with the treatment you receive, leave [this place]. It may mean giving up some of your cherished ideas about institutional education.

It's your choice. How long do you think people here will listen to you deliver ranting complaints?
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#8

Postby Livetowin » Wed Oct 25, 2017 12:48 pm

When my 22 year old daughter takes a position that she doesn't like the rules of the home I and her mom provide, I simply point to the front door and say, " There's your answer. Freedom awaits! But it's not free." It's easy to be a critic when all you have to do is sit in your bed and pick apart what you deem unworthy with everyone else. Until you walk in their shoes and live their lives, you have no place to judge anyone. The world does not give a crap about your little feelings. Getting upset and wanting to destroy your world only underscores the fact you haven't lived in it yet. When you can pay for the water you flush in the toilet, put food on the table, and pay for the roof over your head, let's talk.
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#9

Postby whybotherwhynot » Thu Oct 26, 2017 3:30 am

Wow! Such a long long paragraph. Couldn't you know how to break that long paragraph to several ones to make it easier for people to read and understand.

I stopped reading at the WTF.

Only evil would hate her/his family so much and wish every single person in her/his home die, and that would make s/he extremely happy, because dad or mom or whoever would not support her.

You're 19 years old, not a little kid. You can do anything you want when you make goals for yourself.

I was not growing up in a rich family. I left home when I was 18 years old. I started with a dish washing job, helping in the kitchen... I worked hard and save money... I went to college and was working part-time. I had some student loan. I paid it back to the government when I got a good job after college. I did not ask my parents a cent for paying for my school fee. I did not hate or resent them. I feel proud of myself that I was independent and could do things for myself.

I observed and noticed that whoever always expect too much from other and think they are entitled to have help or money from others, and they feel resentful when they don't get what they want are the ones who are miserable and not successful.

You can sit there and hate your family all you want. The more you hate them, the more they don't want to give you anything. You will be nothing if you don't want to work hard and help yourself, but just expect too much from others.

Wake up. 19 years old is old enough to work and help yourself.
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