Depression, Panic Attacks, Anxiety and many more

Postby Ani91 » Mon Oct 23, 2017 8:42 pm

There are many problems and that is so difficult to describe them. Each word is a painful evidence and it is difficult to write it out. Extremely tired, extremely exhausted, want to end that all and still fighting.

I often have panic attacks. My mood is constantly low. Chronic fatigue makes it so difficult to fight.

There was a year long sexual harassment, that bad guy didn't rape me (thanks God) but what has happened is enough to still make me shiver.

And there is another man. I love him. 100%. I am sure. And he inspires me a lot. And I believe I will be happy with him. But due to trauma I don't feel any sexual arousal and I love him!!! That is so unfair. I suffer and keep suffering and nothing helps.

I also suffer from anorexia/bulimia they change periodically, days and days when I can't eat anything, than I eat, but the body doesn't hold the food it must use for self-protection, self-rebuild and self-support.

I love my man. Right now we live separately. And I am afraid to move and live with him, because he will see all the despair and my hell-like life. He is the man I love more than my life. And I want to devote myself to him, to protect him and to see him happy. I want to be with him.

Help me, please, I want to be happy for me and for him, for the love I feel and for my future happiness, there are so many symptoms, so much tiredness. I want to revive, I want to be happy.

I have already tried prozac, I have tried exercising, I watch only comedies, I am trying really hard to find happiness even in an old chair, I have bought. I think that every obstacle is to the best, it teaches the mind and the soul a lesson and you become stronger. But being unable to express my love to the beloved one, I have come to the edge. I feel so low. I think of the suicide and it is so difficult not to end it all. And I want to be unafraid, confident. Normal as I was. I pray for those who hurt me, because it comes from some mental defects, I am sure. But, please, if you know how, help me, I don't want to be defective. I want myself back.
Ani91
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#1

Postby Translucent » Wed Oct 25, 2017 12:22 pm

What helped me out of my rut was to have faith in God and be brutally honest. That helps to weed the bad people out of my life, and now I'm starting to be surrounded by good people, even though I have few friends.

I also came off a strong antipsychotic recently, and the difference is night and days - I have a lot of energy now to fight my demons.

As for the man who hurt you, he's a coward and you can either press charges with the help of your current love, or you have to forgive and move on, as hard as that is to do.

My advice is to reach out for help to your current partner and if he doesn't understand, perhaps he's not the right one for you. If he does, then you might just find happiness and security together.
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