Trying to stop smoking cannabis.......again!!

Postby tower2108 » Sun Oct 29, 2017 10:02 pm

I started smoking weed when I was 14 and soon became a daily user. I look back and think if I was in the same situation I'd probably do the same again because it was an enjoyable way of life given how easy my life was back then.

I managed to quit for about 6 months when 22, quit again for 5 years when I was 27 but started again two years ago when I was under a lot of stress with family life. I think it's safe to say that smoking weed has caused me to either become depressed or mask depression that might have been starting to come about around the time I first started smoking weed.

Last December I tried to stop but began to have serious bouts of depression coupled with uncontrollable crying, insomnia etc and this led me to think that I'd be better of leaving my wife and living in the warehouse where I work so I could smoke weed to my hearts content. I had a number of counselling sessions which were ok but nothing special. I've been on sertraline for about 10 months and at this time I also got back to smoking weed thinking it was the easier than trying to quit but I don't like the idea of having to smoke it for the rest of my life to try and feel 'normal' so I've taken the plunge again.

I feel like I am better prepared than ever to tackle the problems it brings but this weekend I've shown all the symptoms of depression in men without realising it. The main sympton is blaming my wife for how I feel instead of myself. It must be horrendous for my wife to cope with me when I'm like this but on the whole I'd say I'm much better than I've been in the past when I've tried to stop. The main improvement this time round has been the ability to sleep without any major problems. This is down to using lavender on my pillow and listening to meditation music before going to bed.

I seemed to be much better when I was working but the weekend has been a real struggle and I've basically just watched sport and played PS4 to try and escape the boredom that would normally not be a problem as long as I could have a smoke.
tower2108
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#1

Postby SweLion » Fri Nov 03, 2017 9:12 am

It doesnt matter what you use or what habits you to escape. It´s the pattern in itself witch is destructive. Right now you are switching your escape route of smoking weed to numb the feelings by distracting yourself with videogames and sports. It´s an escape behavior and that is what has to change. Not dealing with emotions or your depression. Building up a mountain of emotions to deal with. You can´t escape, you´ll have to face it.

Do you know what makes you feel this way?
When was the last time you smoked?
How are you today?
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