Stuck in a dark place

Postby Jmid495 » Mon Oct 30, 2017 9:27 pm

Those feelings are coming back. Where everything seems and feels dark and gloomy. Where I'm constantly in fear. My chest hurts all the way through my back.

I miss Chandler. My 4 year old dachshund that I had to put down just 2 months ago.

I'm worried about myself. I've been screaming out in my sleep for about 4 days this past week, which has been going on for a few months. I'm taking the max dose of sertraline, with past experiences with other medications that seemed to stop working.
This has been going on for more than a few years, inconsistently. I'm in between psychiatrists because none of them seem to know what they're doing or just don't seem to care to know.
I've been through hell and back. I suffer from major depressive disorder, PTSD, panic attacks, anxiety, and adhd on the side. I've been kicked out, I've been mistreated, I've suffered through starvation, I've been homeless twice, I've been in and out of jobs, I've been molested, I've lost a pet, I'm thousands of dollars in debt, and I am only 25 years old.
I've lost hope, I've lost interest, I'm starting to lose faith. I've been depressed before, 10 years ago. But I can't seem to snap out of this one. Am I broken beyond repair? Or will I continue to cost people more money the longer I continue to stay alive. I fantasize about suicide, but can't act upon it. But I act carelessly to try to get into harms way. For something to take me.

All I know is, at the end of the day, I'm scared to go to bed, because I'm terrified of waking up.

-please help
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#1

Postby laureat » Tue Oct 31, 2017 2:37 am

You are not stuck in a dark place : you are climbing the mountains

There are things that dont make sense to you at the moment but it will make sense everything latter depending on how fast you understand: 2 years , 10 years , 20 years , however there are ppl who never understand and life never makes sense to them: dont be one of them
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#2

Postby Translucent » Wed Nov 01, 2017 12:15 am

I think you need God in your life. Read and study the bible, and also read about martyrs and Jesus himself, all have been through hell in this world. If not, then try to surround yourself with positive people, which can be hard to do unless you assert yourself.
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