Letting go of an online relationship

Postby Lea13 » Tue Nov 07, 2017 9:42 am

Hello,

Recently I'd become involved with a person online. The guy in question was charming and polite and made me feel special. However, as time goes on, I know he's no good for me - I found he'd been messing around with other women. He apologised and said he wasn't ready to commit but wanted to still communicate as friends - I went along with it knowing it was a big mistake. I go a weekly routine with him of telling him I want to end it - but he begs and pleads with me to stay, saying that one day he will commit. I know that's rubbish - but he makes me feel so wonderful when I'm talking to him, and when he's not, I'm always thinking of when to end it. I just cannot seem to let him go, even though I know he's bad for me - i.e., never really asks about what's going on in my life - it always revolving around him and how I can make him feel better.
I know I have to end this, but I can't let go. Please help me!
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue Nov 07, 2017 2:50 pm

It is online. Hit delete, block, whatever. Start talking with other guys.

Another way to look at it...every minute you spend chatting with this guy is a minute wasted, a minute you could be using to search and talk with other guys.
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#2

Postby TheCloud » Wed Nov 08, 2017 5:06 am

You're under a misconception. It's not this guy who is bad for you. He's just doing what he wants to do, and he's not even hiding it very well. If there is someone who is doing you wrong, it is yourself. You're the one who is being unreliable and unfaithful, to yourself.

If you could have a conversation with yourself, you'd be telling yourself how unreliable you are giving everything to this obvious playboy while giving nothing back to yourself. You're hurting your own feelings.
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#3

Postby Lea13 » Wed Nov 08, 2017 5:27 am

You're absolutely right. Sometimes you just want to believe in love so badly, you just keep trying to fool yourself :(
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#4

Postby TheCloud » Wed Nov 08, 2017 6:38 am

Lea13 wrote:You're absolutely right. Sometimes you just want to believe in love so badly, you just keep trying to fool yourself :(


Love does exist. If you want to believe in it, there is a person very close to you who definitely needs you to love her. And if you do love her, you won't be a fool.
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#5

Postby Lea13 » Wed Nov 08, 2017 8:49 am

I just understood- You mean me
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#6

Postby Papercut » Wed Nov 08, 2017 11:50 am

The start is always the hardest to thing to do.

You know what will makes you better and how will you do it. Just being with this guy online that does nothing to you will only wastes time and tears.

So hit delete, girl up then find a good man out there. You deserves better.
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#7

Postby Lea13 » Wed Nov 08, 2017 4:49 pm

So I did it. Told him I wanted out, it came with the usual “don’t go” and “I need you” but I stood my ground. Only thing is this hurts like hell and I miss him. :cry: :cry:
Will this ever get better??
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#8

Postby TheCloud » Wed Nov 08, 2017 5:01 pm

It sounds as if you are used to pouring your affection and emotional energy into other people, to your own detriment. What happened to you that you can't put that energy into yourself? Did you have a bad experience, or were you neglected as a child?
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#9

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Wed Nov 08, 2017 5:14 pm

Lea13 wrote:Will this ever get better??


You already know the answer. No one needs to tell you.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get off the Internet for a while, disconnect, set some real goals, and start moving forward in life.
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#10

Postby whybotherwhynot » Wed Nov 08, 2017 5:57 pm

Have you watched the movie He's Just Not That Into You?
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