how to help ex-girl?

Postby thiva101 » Sun Nov 19, 2017 3:58 pm

Girl Friend Broke up with me last week because she has low self-esteem issues possibly some depression. She says she can’t be in a relationship right now since she doesn’t her love itself. She talked to me on Friday stating she doesn’t want to lean on me and doesn’t want me to be walking on thin ice all the time. (That why she broke up)That it sucks to lose her boyfriend but even more to lose her best friend too. And that she happy to be with me and talk with me. But when she is alone she is sad and cries all the time. She is going to see a therapist this week.

I want to be there for her. But I don’t know what do to. She doesn’t want a boyfriend and I don’t wanna move on. I can’t leave someone alone like that and at the same time don’t want to be stuck in limbo. If you know what I mean.

I want to see if we can be friends who go on dates. So no pressure of a relationship. she doesn't have to lean on me. just meet once in a while. She doesn’t go out much. Getting her out do would her some good. People get extra depressed during the holidays.Or should I just check up on her once in a while. Or just let her do her thing.
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Nov 19, 2017 7:10 pm

Depends on what you mean by checking in once in a while. Give her space, let her do her own thing. She doesn’t want a boyfriend, so treat her as a friend. Once a month send a message asking her how things are going.

Your role is friend, not therapist, not parent, not guardian, so just because you think X or Y or Z might be good for her, that is not your role in her life. Your role is friend, meaning if she wants to meet for coffee once every month or so great, if not, no big deal.
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#2

Postby thiva101 » Sun Nov 19, 2017 7:27 pm

Thank you, Richard, ill do exactly what you said.
sorry for my selfish thinking.
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