Automatic negative thoughts "I hate myself"

Postby Roses94 » Mon Nov 20, 2017 2:32 pm

Hi. I've been dealing recently with pesky automatic negative thoughts, particularly thinking "I hate myself" after every little mistake or mishap. Sometimes for no apparent reason. I don't even mean it, I don't hate myself, But I keep thinking it. I have therapy experience so I try to counteract the thought with many positive thoughts about myself but it doesn't seem to be working. Any ideas on how to stop this? Thanks.
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#1

Postby laureat » Wed Nov 22, 2017 4:32 am

How life has to be like before you should feel good?

Ppl teach lot of goals, dreams, expectations, and what that does is creating a big gap between who you are and who you wish to be and all you are left to do is to hate oneself for who you are:

You cannot swallow a huge size of beefsteak but you chop it on pieces

Piece by piece : and your done
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#2

Postby Livetowin » Tue Nov 28, 2017 1:26 pm

Again we're dealing with the number one rule in life - You only control yourself. You don't need therapy for this. What you need is a honest conversation with yourself. Everything you do in life should be with the best intentions and the best effort you can provide. But having said that, it doesn't mean everyone around you will find agreement. So your focus and center needs to always be on self.

Look at what it is you're doing. Are you making mistakes? What is your definition? And to what extent do your "mistakes" impact others? Are you wrecking a car every other month or did you accidentally burn the toast? Is it a reliability issue? Not calling people or showing up when you're supposed to? Or is it something more abstract like people telling you you're doing something wrong and you don't see it? I have no context as to what you mean when you say you make mistakes or have mishaps.

Before I ever worry about my "feelings", I need to first be accountable. Is there an actual issue here? Is there something I really need to address or do I just have judgmental people around me looking for faults? Don't weigh the merits on feelings but on truth. Do you need to fix certain issues in your life that are becoming problematic? Then set out to resolve those issues. Slow down and look at what it is you're actually doing. You'll find out when you take care of your own back yard first, your feelings stay put and are not easily detoured by what others say. When you have your own house in order, you know where you stand.
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