How can a mother love the son and despise the daughter?

Postby Henrique » Sun Dec 03, 2017 11:50 am

My girlfriend is a sweet, lovely and smart girl that lives in a kafkian environment: she is mocked and harassed by her own (divorced) mother in ways that make my blood boil when I hear the situations in her home.

She was forbidden to use the bathroom for months and had to go to the nearest gas station.

All her objects in the house can not take more space than they take now (so, she is not allowed to have one more pillow, as an example)

She can’t speak on the phone because “her voice is annoying”

She have to sleep on the mother’s room in a mattress on the floor because the mother build a giant closet in the apartment (with hundreds of shoes like a museum) instead of a room for her

On the other side, my girlfriend have a younger (25 years old) brother that, now, have this own soundproof room, even his food is delivered and prepared by the mother. The mother talks out loud abut how good the son smells and how lucky are the girls who touch his body (I’m not joking here). She washes his shirts by hand and spend several minutes in contemplation on how handsome and manly the son is (even looking aroused).

My question is: from the psychology point of view, how can the mother's behavior be explained? How to deal with such a freak?
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#1

Postby quietvoice » Sun Dec 03, 2017 12:24 pm

Henrique wrote:My question is: from the psychology point of view, how can the mother's behavior be explained?

The behavior can be explained by the fact that one becomes what they think about. Now, why does she think like that? That's anybody's guess, and making guesses won't get that anybody anywhere.

Henrique wrote:How to deal with such a freak?

Move out.
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#2

Postby AddyMae » Fri Dec 15, 2017 7:21 pm

In most cases it's a cultural standard. Male children are more 'revered' or what have you than the female children because the males carry on the family name.

I would also like to add, as a mother in a modern country I don't condone the practice.
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#3

Postby bob7777777 » Sat Dec 16, 2017 5:53 am

Your girlfriend has a younger brother who is 25, meaning she is at least 26, and she still lives with her mother? And is wondering why she is getting harassed at home?

She needs to move out, get a job, get her own flat or a room in a shared apartment. Suddenly her mother will become much nicer to her and you won't have to deal with the subject.

Be careful about her moving directly into your place, because she may confuse you with the parental power role, which she may already despise.

If she doesn't have the maturity to move out and take on adult responsibilities, you might want to consider whether you are in a relationship with a child.
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