Free of weed almost 2.5 years

Postby swissmoker247 » Fri Feb 16, 2018 3:39 pm

Hello,

I have been visiting this forum for some time now but never posted before.
I decided to post my thoughts because I felt that people that are going through what I ve been through need to hear this.

I m going to keep this nice and short.

Been smoking from the age of 18 until 32. I smoked very heavily and constantly.... 3-5 joints per day average.

My first year after quitting was complete hell. PAWS was out of control to the point where I went to see both a psychiatrist and psychologist. They put me on anxiety medication for 6 months but then decided to quit cause I felt that medication was not helping nor was the solution to my problem.

My main symptom are anxiety and depression! For the first year they were constant. After the first year I started to have good days and bad days.

Now that I gone almost 2.5 years without weed things are much better. Not 100% yet but I would say 90%. I still have bad days which can be just as bad as they were at the beginning of this journey.

What I have learned during these last few years is that there is nothing you can eat, drink or do which will solve your problems immediately. SO stop wasting your time constantly surfing the internet trying to find a magic solution which will clear all your problems. It just does not exist! The only thing to do is to accept this temporary shitty situation. Things will get better trust me. I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel!

The problem with every addict is that there is a deep rooted reason for your addiction. In order to move on with your life and feel better you need to find what you were trying to cover with your addiction. Obviously people who smoke weed because they like it, but people who become weed addicts are subconsciously avoiding some sort of problem in their life.

My advice for people who want to overcome their PAWs and start living a happy life is to go see a good psycologist who can help them identify the source of their discomfort.

Things that helped me during these last few years:
-Regular Exercise....this is a MUST
-Talking about your problems with someone you can trust or a professional
-Create a new hobby that can take your mind off of your discomfort(now that you don't smoke weed anymore you must find a new way to keep your mind occupied)
-Eat well....I m not just talking about healthy foods but also foods that you love to eat!
-Get out of the house....dont sit at home all day watching your screen
-TIME....this is the most important thing you must realize and accept....only time will make things better......how long? well that can vary from person to person. The quicker you are able to make real changes to your life the better.

All these things helped me a lot on my path to recovery. I wish you all good luck on your journey to recovery!!!!
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#1

Postby Wave » Fri Feb 16, 2018 5:54 pm

swissmoker247 wrote:Things that helped me during these last few years:
-Regular Exercise....this is a MUST
-Talking about your problems with someone you can trust or a professional
-Create a new hobby that can take your mind off of your discomfort(now that you don't smoke weed anymore you must find a new way to keep your mind occupied)
-Eat well....I m not just talking about healthy foods but also foods that you love to eat!
-Get out of the house....dont sit at home all day watching your screen
-TIME....this is the most important thing you must realize and accept....only time will make things better......how long? well that can vary from person to person. The quicker you are able to make real changes to your life the better.

All these things helped me a lot on my path to recovery. I wish you all good luck on your journey to recovery!!!!


Excellent advice. I would add one to this and that would be if you do slip up, brush it off and then carry on. You are still on that amount of days with one slip up.

My early fails I went with "oh well failed, back to daily use". That said, I think of the horrific feeling for days on end after just a couple of tokes to make me realise how much it is not worth it. I could have save myself SO MUCH pain by sticking to the first quit!
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#2

Postby Thracian » Sun Feb 18, 2018 6:30 am

Hey man .Thank you so much for coming in here and posting your experience .I was looking for someone who has quit for a couple years and telling their journey throughout .Its rough to hear that it took about a year to feel normal .Ive attempted to quit weed so many times that I lost count .I lasted 9 months longest and every time I went back to it my use got worse and worse.

I’m 29 now and have been smoking daily for 3 years .I started when I was 15. I believe this time is the right time because it’s gotten to the point where I didn’t even enjoy it .

It’s been two weeks and I already feel MUCH better.The only problem is these crazy mood swings .Id be completely fine and happy then a wave of depression hits me .Anger and hopelessness .I know this is a part of the healing process .

A personal question for you .Did you suffer a loss of libido after quitting ? I’m sure with the depression that came after quitting you have .It feels as if I’ll never get my old libido back .I want to know how long did it take you to enjoy sex and want sex again ?
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#3

Postby swissmoker247 » Mon Feb 19, 2018 10:32 am

Thracian wrote:Hey man .Thank you so much for coming in here and posting your experience .I was looking for someone who has quit for a couple years and telling their journey throughout .Its rough to hear that it took about a year to feel normal .Ive attempted to quit weed so many times that I lost count .I lasted 9 months longest and every time I went back to it my use got worse and worse.

I’m 29 now and have been smoking daily for 3 years .I started when I was 15. I believe this time is the right time because it’s gotten to the point where I didn’t even enjoy it .

It’s been two weeks and I already feel MUCH better.The only problem is these crazy mood swings .Id be completely fine and happy then a wave of depression hits me .Anger and hopelessness .I know this is a part of the healing process .

A personal question for you .Did you suffer a loss of libido after quitting ? I’m sure with the depression that came after quitting you have .It feels as if I’ll never get my old libido back .I want to know how long did it take you to enjoy sex and want sex again ?
Hey Thracian,

yes I guess is totally normal. At the moment your brain is trying to deal with a million different sensations and feelings so it absolutely normal to loose interest in sex.
Let me just make one thing clear.... you will never go back to your old self, simply because your old self does not exist anymore. Without drugs there is a new YOU. So instead of obsessing about why things are different now try and accept these changes. Things are different because you are not on drugs anymore. In the path of recovery you will learn and discover many new things about yourself, things that you did not know because while on drugs you stopped growing as an individual.
My advice to you is to take it easy and stop trying looking for an answer. Accept life and feelings as they come regardless if they are good or bad. Take baby steps in rediscovering who you really are. Only then the paws will stop...but it takes time....
Libido will come back as long as you don't obsess over it....the more you worry about the more it will become a bigger issue in your mind. So accept the fact that for the moment you are just not that much interested in sex as you were before.
I hope this answer your questions....wish you good luck!
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#4

Postby Bkhoa » Mon Feb 19, 2018 1:05 pm

The problem with every addict is that there is a deep rooted reason for your addiction. In order to move on with your life and feel better you need to find what you were trying to cover with your addiction. Obviously people who smoke weed because they like it, but people who become weed addicts are subconsciously avoiding some sort of problem in their life.

My advice for people who want to overcome their PAWs and start living a happy life is to go see a good psycologist who can help them identify the source of their discomfort.


I agree very much with this part . Although, I would like to know what kind of deep rooted reason we are talking about ? What was yours if it's not too much personal.

I never found a good psychologist, I felt I was losing my time and finally relapsed after 6 months clean. I learned useful stuffs through about questioning my choices, making B plans, taking time to order my worries. He was saying that my problems lied in my current situation, in a new country where I don't speak the language, in a job uncertain especially financially. Maybe I don't give myself the credit for standing these difficulties. But still, I felt and still feel I am dragging something I hide to myself for 15 years of smoking, maybe even from before, that the psychologist didn't reach. But I can't put a finger on it. Maybe that's what I'll learn from quitting for good. Now I am tapering down while planning for the big jump(again), I hope I will at least 2.5 years this time like you did.
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#5

Postby swissmoker247 » Mon Feb 19, 2018 4:14 pm

Bkhoa wrote:
The problem with every addict is that there is a deep rooted reason for your addiction. In order to move on with your life and feel better you need to find what you were trying to cover with your addiction. Obviously people who smoke weed because they like it, but people who become weed addicts are subconsciously avoiding some sort of problem in their life.

My advice for people who want to overcome their PAWs and start living a happy life is to go see a good psycologist who can help them identify the source of their discomfort.


I agree very much with this part . Although, I would like to know what kind of deep rooted reason we are talking about ? What was yours if it's not too much personal.

I never found a good psychologist, I felt I was losing my time and finally relapsed after 6 months clean. I learned useful stuffs through about questioning my choices, making B plans, taking time to order my worries. He was saying that my problems lied in my current situation, in a new country where I don't speak the language, in a job uncertain especially financially. Maybe I don't give myself the credit for standing these difficulties. But still, I felt and still feel I am dragging something I hide to myself for 15 years of smoking, maybe even from before, that the psychologist didn't reach. But I can't put a finger on it. Maybe that's what I'll learn from quitting for good. Now I am tapering down while planning for the big jump(again), I hope I will at least 2.5 years this time like you did.


It is difficult to pin point a single reason. I had a happy childhood with no trauma and never really had any serious problem. I guess my issue was a combination of things.

The main one though was the fear of failure. I come from a family who had good successful careers so my goal growing up was to replicate or do better than my dad and other family members. I guess when I started working a realized that things in the real world are much tougher than what I had immagined. My anxiety would flare up everytime an unexpected problem would arise at work. I perceived this as a threat that could potentially end my career and set me up for failure. I realize now that I cannot control everything and since I made this realization I am much more relaxed. When a problem comes up I still get anxious but not as much as before.

There are many other issues I came to realize that were wrong with me and I have been addressing them one step at the time.
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#6

Postby dariaengse » Mon Feb 19, 2018 9:04 pm

Thank you for sharing this! Always nice to hear these long term stories from other people. Especially now that I´ve come so far (7,5) months and still struggling with derealization, depression, anxiety, fatigue++
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#7

Postby asgoodasitgets » Tue Feb 20, 2018 2:54 am

Agreed. Thank you for sharing, it's really good to be reminded of the light waiting for us at the end of the tunnel! Kudos and thanks for sharing.

Alex
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#8

Postby Bkhoa » Tue Feb 20, 2018 11:56 am

Thanks for your reply,
My anxiety would flare up everytime an unexpected problem would arise at work. I perceived this as a threat that could potentially end my career and set me up for failure

You don't know how much this you said, resonates in me. Especially as I am self-employed in my own project that barely pay for my expenses. Maybe coming from my family model too. I feel a bit better with this since I realized that life is passing by and I started to think of the really important things in life, like people I love, or peace of mind. I try too to accept not being in control. I would like to ask you more about the other issues, but I am afraid I am dragging you off topic. Anyway, thanks for sharing,
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#9

Postby jmh335 » Tue Feb 20, 2018 5:07 pm

How about sleep? You didn’t mention a struggle with it. Does it ever come back? I’m an 8 year all day everyday smoker. I’ve tried to quit twice. Each time I made it about 4 months. Some nights I sleep 8 hours, other nights 0. There seems to be no middle ground. It’s so frustrating and seems like it is just me and will never get better. I definitely have higher anxiety and depression but in my mind it seems they are all due to worrying about sleep. I love my life and the people in it. Since quitting marijuana both times, sleep has been ruining it and ruining my hope for the future. I’m just trying to figure out if this will pass in time or if it is permanent. Thank you!
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#10

Postby swissmoker247 » Tue Feb 20, 2018 5:26 pm

Hey Bkhoa,

I am also self employed and I know what it means to have responsibilities and deadlines. On top of that I became a dad 2 years ago which was the main reason why I decided to quit. I knew that with weed it was going to be difficult to be present for my child.
I have always been a laid back person who never really had to deal with stress. I guess having a child was what trigger this big change in me. All of the sudden I had to provide for my family and set an example. Everything was a bit too much to handle!
Looking back at things I am glad of what I ve been going through in the past 2.5 years. All this suffering made me grow as a person. I have learned many new things about my self and I have a whole new perspective towards life. It made me re-evaluate what s really important.
I think people that are starting the recovery journey should look at PAWS as an opportunity to grow and should welcome it. It s like going to the gym! If you want to build muscles you need to workout hard...NO PAIN No GAIN! the same thing can be applied to PAWS. If you want to live a drug free happy life you need to put the time and the effort to rewire your brain and the way you perceive life.
For me stress was(and still is) the source of my problem. During my stoner years I have learned to deal with stress by getting high and forgetting about it. After I quit I had to TEACH my brain a new way to deal with stress since weed was no longer an option.
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#11

Postby swissmoker247 » Tue Feb 20, 2018 5:49 pm

jmh335 wrote:How about sleep? You didn’t mention a struggle with it. Does it ever come back? I’m an 8 year all day everyday smoker. I’ve tried to quit twice. Each time I made it about 4 months. Some nights I sleep 8 hours, other nights 0. There seems to be no middle ground. It’s so frustrating and seems like it is just me and will never get better. I definitely have higher anxiety and depression but in my mind it seems they are all due to worrying about sleep. I love my life and the people in it. Since quitting marijuana both times, sleep has been ruining it and ruining my hope for the future. I’m just trying to figure out if this will pass in time or if it is permanent. Thank you!


Sleep gets better...although it is hard to sleep while you have anxiety going on... Sometimes I still have problems falling asleep when I ve got something on my mind. When I used to smoke I could sleep 12 hours straight... now the maximum sleep I can get is about 8 hours....but I guess thats also related to my age...the older you get the less you sleep(usually). I wouldn't be too worried about it and definitely don't get hooked on sleeping pills!
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#12

Postby jmh335 » Tue Feb 20, 2018 5:51 pm

Thanks for the reply
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#13

Postby dhae2604 » Sat May 12, 2018 7:30 pm

Hi Swissmoker

inspiring to read stories like yours. How are you now?

Hope youre doing okay
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#14

Postby Anxious_mary_420 » Sun May 13, 2018 7:54 am

Hi swisssmoker thank you so much for your inspirational posts....I am only at 6 weeks and 2 days and suffering terribly with anxiety I have thought about prescription meds but decided there not for me....I agree with what you say, to not expect to go back to the old you but embrace the new you and to learn from going through PAWS. Thank you its so great to read a post from someone as positive and as far along as you are with your sobriety.good luck in the future and enjoy being a daddy.x
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