Is This Messiah Delusion? Help

Postby baltazzar » Mon Feb 19, 2018 10:34 am

Hi, I am wondering whether what I've been going through is messianic delusions or maybe something else. I'm a 23 year old guy who is fairly smart, but also very melancholic and curious about the world.

For the past months I've had a recurring belief that I was a Messiah figure. I was in the process of becoming more religious, and then at one point this belief occurred to me and stuck, it wasn't something that came from my own desire, but rather it felt the world had given me this task by setting my mind upon a certain path. I managed to get convinced that I was at the center of a massive cosmic conspiracy involving Christ, aliens, the secret government and mushrooms biology.

At first I was happy - it sounds like a good role. But then I didn't want to have to deal with all of the pressure involved in becoming better and better and saving the world, I'm just a young introverted man in his early twenties who has too much curiosity for his own good.

During this period, I looked at various events in my past and present and saw them as evidence that I'm the Messiah. But other events and facts of my life don't match with that idea - eventually this conflict in my mind became so intense that it made me increasingly flustered in my mind and I felt my mental coherence disappear and compulsive thoughts started emerging instead, so now I'm trying to suppress these Messianic thoughts, but the feeling is still in the back of my mind and I feel like others are observing me.

I often have what I feel are divinely-inspired intuitions to do things and write certain things and recently I was compelled to proclaim myself to be Son of God on an online forum, which I now regret that I did, because I feel like I've should kept these thoughts to myself.

The things that I've discovered online made me believe that I could influence world events and had the recipe for salvation, but unfortunately it involves one of the most feared ideologies in the world, namely National Socialism and when I told people about this on my usual hang-around forum they became scared, but many actually believed I had prophetic insight.

I'm scared to talk about this with other people, because they seem to politely deny it and it would certainly damage social relations.

Does anyone know what this it? Has anyone else experienced it?
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Feb 19, 2018 4:12 pm

Sounds like a form of escapism or avoidance motivation.

Sometimes when a person repeatedly fails to achieve a real world goal, e.g. make it into the professional golf circuit, they disengage but then struggle to replace that goal with another real world goal. Instead, they escape into some grand goal, some massive, universe altering goal. This allows them to mentally avoid dealing with actual real world goals where they might once again be subject to failure. Why should you try to go back to school and get an advanced degree, when you have the universe to save? The advanced degree is such a short sighted, trivial goal in the scope of your grand dream.

The bottom line, it is a form of avoidance motivation. You are motivated to avoid some uncomfortable issues in your life by spending massive amounts of time and energy pursuing a goal that justifies ignoring those issues you wish to avoid.
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#2

Postby Candid » Tue Feb 20, 2018 10:37 am

baltazzar wrote:I'm just a young introverted man in his early twenties who has too much curiosity for his own good.


You nailed it, my friend. Do you think Jesus considered asking the multitudes what was going on for him?

[/quote]I'm scared to talk about this with other people, because they seem to politely deny it and it would certainly damage social relations.[/quote]

No kidding! Let this get out of hand and you'll end up in a psych ward being forcibly medicated for schizophrenia.

I agree with Richard, in some way you're socially impaired (or "introverted", as you call it) so you have to go for a lofty goal that'll say neener-neener to the people you perceive as rejecting you now.
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#3

Postby forestcritter » Tue Feb 20, 2018 12:50 pm

I hate to put a damper on your messianic quest, but I would say that what you are experiencing is almost certainly a delusion.

One reason I think this is that I have specifically known a person very much like you, caught up in the same sort of thing. He too allowed himself to get too isolated and disconnected from reality. Getting disconnected isn't a great thing in the first place, but nowadays there is a whole industry, the conspiracy theory industry, which preys on people which mindsets like yours. The themes which you mentioned are all the bread and butter of what these people believe (and what the person I know believes) which is basically that government is run by illumunati lizards, and fascism is the way to a better world. Which of course we know by the example history has set a million times that fascism is not the way to a better world, but rather a good way to send your country to ruin.

The conspiracy theory movement is actually a bit of a macrocosm of how you and other followers may perhaps be living your own lives.

For example conspiracy theorists focus on specific events, or non-events which involve major organizations or players working to do bad things against common people. Events like 9/11 or something. The thing is though, there are lots of instances where major organizations work to do bad things against common people, instances which are widely known and proven to be happening, but the conspiracy theorists only focus on the ones that are hard to prove, or which few people agree with. For example there are big corporations like tobacco companies, or fast food companies, or whatever, that have or actively do lobby to spread disinformation about their products so that people will use them, to the extreme detriment of people's health. Everyone knows this and there is plenty of proof that it happens and it kills far more people than 9/11 or terrorists do. There are also plenty of things you can do about it such as supporting politicians who are against it happening or taking part in activist events. But conspiracy theorists will never put any work into improving society in ways that are proven to help. They only focus on things that are either proven as fake or are at least very difficult to prove. And in bad cases, they end up thinking there is one pivotal event they can cause which will fix the world around them, and it often tends to be very bad like shooting up a school or something. Why do you think that is?

I think it is very much because in their own lives there are things they wanted or want to achieve but haven't been able to and can't seem to find the strategy or control over their lives necessary to do what they want or to find the happiness that they want. So they turn to delusion, and the conspiracy theory youtube channels and websites and red pill forums and alt-right movements are ready to accept them with open arms.

I am not saying you do not have a real mental illness, there is an extremely high chance you are dealing with some level of depression or something or you would not have turned to this. But you need to be wary of what you're getting into because it happens to more people than you think and it can go down a dark road if you get sucked into the conspiracy theory stuff.
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#4

Postby baltazzar » Wed Feb 21, 2018 11:59 am

forestcritter wrote:I hate to put a damper on your messianic quest, but I would say that what you are experiencing is almost certainly a delusion.

The conspiracy theory movement is actually a bit of a macrocosm of how you and other followers may perhaps be living your own lives.

For example conspiracy theorists focus on specific events, or non-events which involve major organizations or players working to do bad things against common people. Events like 9/11 or something. The thing is though, there are lots of instances where major organizations work to do bad things against common people, instances which are widely known and proven to be happening, but the conspiracy theorists only focus on the ones that are hard to prove, or which few people agree with. They only focus on things that are either proven as fake or are at least very difficult to prove. And in bad cases, they end up thinking there is one pivotal event they can cause which will fix the world around them, and it often tends to be very bad like shooting up a school or something. Why do you think that is?


I am not saying you do not have a real mental illness, there is an extremely high chance you are dealing with some level of depression or something or you would not have turned to this. But you need to be wary of what you're getting into because it happens to more people than you think and it can go down a dark road if you get sucked into the conspiracy theory stuff.



I appreciate the input and I think you have much wisdom about human psychology, however the kind of conspiratorial thinking that I'm engaged with is not about 9/11, JFK and this sort of stuff, rather it pertains much more to religious and historical events that has taken place within the last couple of thousand years.

Essentially I've been having revelations about society, biology and religious symbolism, I basically have figured out that we Europeans have been living with a diminishing connection with Christ ever since WW2, and we're now being subdued by an anti-christ spirit delivered from certain Jewish and Satanic priesthoods in the World. The Synagogue of Satan spoken of in the bible is very real and continues to this day to influence world events, they are trying to build a new world order of mongrelized individiuals, so that they can institute a world government based on communist principles, that's why they've been promoting mass-migration so much.. They are searching for their messianic figure before their revolution is accomplished, however, and I believe that I might be that guy, but this causes me great stress, because they are against The Spirit of Christ and I'm for it.
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#5

Postby baltazzar » Wed Feb 21, 2018 12:07 pm

Candid wrote:
baltazzar wrote:I'm just a young introverted man in his early twenties who has too much curiosity for his own good.


You nailed it, my friend. Do you think Jesus considered asking the multitudes what was going on for him?

I'm scared to talk about this with other people, because they seem to politely deny it and it would certainly damage social relations.[/quote]

No kidding! Let this get out of hand and you'll end up in a psych ward being forcibly medicated for schizophrenia.

I agree with Richard, in some way you're socially impaired (or "introverted", as you call it) so you have to go for a lofty goal that'll say neener-neener to the people you perceive as rejecting you now.[/quote]

I do know that there's plenty of instances of prophets being depressed and downtrodden in the scriptures.
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#6

Postby Candid » Wed Feb 21, 2018 5:47 pm

You just might be the prophet/messiah the world's been waiting for, but I've never heard of one canvassing opinions like this before... or balking at the work involved.

I hope you'll let us know when/if you get started.
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