inner demons

Postby Beenwahiel2287 » Wed Feb 21, 2018 9:23 am

I'll start from describing myself so that you can get a slight idea of who I am. I am a 28 years old gay man, smart, intelligent, good looking but with a tormented soul. I have self-image issues and although it's hard for me to admit it…also a low self-esteem. I know that no one can help me but myself, but I wanted to share with you some thoughts that are going on in my mind since ever and that I feel too embarrassed to share them with other people around me.

I feel like even today when I see a good-looking man I'm fixated on him. Sort of an obsession to either look like him or to have sex with him. Being with him will presumably feel in the void and looking like him will increase my low self-esteem by looking more attractive. Now, obviously that is a false and 'dangerous' presumption and I'm totally aware of it but, that is what is going on in my head. That sort of feeling is driving me crazy sometimes because I feel I'm possessed by inner demons. This masculinity that I am so attracted to is both very appealing and yet intimidating for me. Can I ever get out of this loop? Can I ever reach to the point when I'm not "threatened" being around very attractive men, without the need to be with them and feeling so insecure? I accept my sexual orientation and I enjoy it but, it feels that I am constantly on the hunt for someone that will make me feel happy and relaxed and, this had never happened and probably never will so long as I am on this track. What can I do to combat these feelings? What can I do to get rid of this obsession? Can anyone relate to it?
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Postby federico91 » Thu Feb 22, 2018 4:42 am

Hello, I have to confers that I am also a man, I like women, but when I disappointed women many times over time I began to fantasize or think that maybe the best thing for me was men, and once, I had a friend, who for the confidence with time I liked, I even wanted to kiss him, but I never did, and I always felt attraction for men, but not for the physical, but for the mind, I like to read, and usually my favorite authors are men, men who are always in my mind

And I like many religions, Buddha and Jesus, they are by their teachings the men that are always in my mind, I think that anyone who studies the life of those two men can change many things in their life, and if those two men become in the obsecion of the person "in the good sense" in the sense of thinking and reflecting on his teachings, many good things can happen in his life
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