Workplace Anger...CBT?

Postby johnsmith100 » Sat Mar 17, 2018 7:03 am

HI there
I am having trouble dealing with my workplace anger. When my boss gives me last minute jobs to do I get really angry but do it anyway because I know I have to. I get angry and frustrated because I know it is his job to be better prepared. Is there a way to deal with this? reframe the thought with CBT? Many thanks
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#1

Postby Candid » Sat Mar 17, 2018 9:03 am

Are your colleagues given last-minute jobs, as well? I would understand your anger if the hard stuff always landed on your desk.
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#2

Postby johnsmith100 » Sat Mar 17, 2018 9:26 am

Thanks for your reply. Every body is getting it to some extent. Me more because I teach more classes.
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#3

Postby Candid » Sat Mar 17, 2018 10:09 am

How did you get into the position of taking more classes? Do you get paid more?
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#4

Postby johnsmith100 » Sat Mar 17, 2018 10:13 am

I am full time and also I did not apply for 2 positions doing 'action research' for 20 percent of time....Silly me ..And I can't apply for another 2 yrs
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#5

Postby Candid » Sat Mar 17, 2018 10:16 am

The worst kind of anger is when we realise we shot ourselves in the foot!
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#6

Postby johnsmith100 » Sat Mar 17, 2018 10:22 am

Lol true....It a double whammy..Anger with myself and my boss!
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#7

Postby Candid » Sat Mar 17, 2018 10:26 am

Best thing to do is deal with the anger at yourself, and see what you can do to make it up to yourself.
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#8

Postby laureat » Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:11 am

if your boss asks you to do something which you dont think he should, there is a conflict happening even if you dont speak it out

ppl sometimes ignore conflicts but later may become frustrated, one day may become a fight

i get this kind of frustration too easy and searching for better ways that brings positive results in life instead of becoming frustrated about conflicts that happens all the time

i think its ok if you give a try to speak out for a better proposition and reasoning
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#9

Postby johnsmith100 » Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:25 am

Thank you for all the ideas.
I am still wondering if CBT of the frustration with the boss can be applied? I've heard CBT is very useful hence onlooking to practice it when appropriate. I also understAnd tomay mitbe useful in all circumstances. Thank you
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#10

Postby Leo Volont » Sun Mar 18, 2018 4:16 am

Hi John,

It is unfortunate that we live in a World in which nearly all of our jobs are in a Vertical Hierarchical Authoritarian configuration. In such a World the Bosses are the Masters and we their underlings are the Slaves. Really, most of the point of Anger Management is to get people used to the idea of sucking down their Anger so they can keep their jobs. Honestly, I never would have known I had an Anger Problem if it weren't for Bosses.

but, John, from what you've said, it seems that you only FEEL Angry, and that you have not yet Acted Out on your feelings. In that case you Do Not Have An Anger Problem. Of course, the Way the World is now, if you are not Feeling Angry at least half the time about some institutionalized Injustice or another, then you are simply not paying attention.

So, the Way it is now, the procedure for keeping your Employment is to smile and say "Yes Sir" to whatever the Boss wants. Then about whether or not you actually DO IT depends on whether he or she is paying attention or not. But, besides that, your only other remedy is to find another job and turn in your Notice with some really good excuse for why you had to leave -- you don't want to leave Any boss under a Dark Cloud.

So, John, I think you are doing fine. BUT, if you catch yourself acting out on your anger and making terrible scenes, then please write back and I would be pleased to help you deal with that.
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#11

Postby johnsmith100 » Sun Mar 18, 2018 6:58 am

Thank you so much to everybody here. You are so helpful!
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#12

Postby johnsmith100 » Sun Mar 18, 2018 7:03 am

So if I've got this right?..
Anger is part of the workplace ..Basically just learn to suck it up..I can do that...It doesn't feel good however ....and CBT is probly not gunna change the feeling that much.
The most important thing though is not acting on it...Otherwise that's gunna feel a lot worse.
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#13

Postby Candid » Sun Mar 18, 2018 8:07 am

CBT changes the way we look at things -- mostly the way we think about ourselves. If you think of yourself as a put-upon victim, that's what you'll be.

You could keep telling yourself you're a valued member of staff, that you get extra work because the bosses know you can handle it, not just handle it but do it well. Thinking differently about it will give you more energy. It also means you can approach the bosses with your concerns and they'll listen to you with respect.
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#14

Postby johnsmith100 » Sun Mar 18, 2018 8:09 am

I like that ! Thank you Candid
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