Quit journal

#75

Postby George from UK » Wed May 16, 2018 6:51 pm

Hi everyone. Just thought i'd share a great quote i heard today...

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today!"

Hope you can all get some inspiration from this.

George
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#76

Postby JoeBloggs » Wed May 16, 2018 6:57 pm

George from UK wrote:Hi everyone. Just thought i'd share a great quote i heard today...

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today!"

Hope you can all get some inspiration from this.

George


I know that quote it’s a great one.
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#77

Postby Cali-Detroit » Wed May 16, 2018 9:13 pm

Thanks George, that's very inspiring.
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#78

Postby George from UK » Thu May 17, 2018 5:43 pm

DAY 27

Another day with my neurological disease in remission. I've got my van in for repairs at the garage tomorrow, something i wouldn't have been able to afford if i was in active addition.

Feeling mostly positive. Hope everyone is planting their tree's! Haha. I still have'n't got around to joining a 12 step program yet though

George
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#79

Postby jimmyjazz » Thu May 17, 2018 5:54 pm

George this is cracking stuff mate. I look out for your updates each day as we are in a similar place time wise. Wishing you all the best and hope to keep seeing these positive posts.

JJ
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#80

Postby George from UK » Thu May 17, 2018 5:56 pm

jimmyjazz wrote:George this is cracking stuff mate. I look out for your updates each day as we are in a similar place time wise. Wishing you all the best and hope to keep seeing these positive posts.

JJ



Thanks for the support JimmyJazz. I'm glad this is helping someone out there with their problems

George
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#81

Postby Cali-Detroit » Thu May 17, 2018 8:34 pm

Well done G! I'm at 44 days and holding, no slip ups fortunately.

You're a fellow van brother? That's brilliant, not too many of us round. What's you driving?
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#82

Postby George from UK » Thu May 17, 2018 8:47 pm

Cali-Detroit wrote:Well done G! I'm at 44 days and holding, no slip ups fortunately.

You're a fellow van brother? That's brilliant, not too many of us round. What's you driving?


Congrats on you're 44 days, brother! I drive a little 52 plate vauxhall combo in red. It's just done 100.000 miles and been told if i look after it i can get another 100K out of her!?

What's you van, mate?

Sober G :-)
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#83

Postby Cali-Detroit » Thu May 17, 2018 8:50 pm

Noice! That's way cooler than me...I got a '99 Ford 350 Club Wagon, 270,000 min and counting. But it gets us around.
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#84

Postby George from UK » Sat May 19, 2018 6:26 am

DAY 29

Nightmares

Suicide fantasy

Life becomes apparent when sober 24/7 lol

Things i need to do to stay on top of life. jiu jitsu. canvassing...


The night sweats seem to have gone now and been replaced by vivid nightmares that wake me up. Been dreaming about my ex a lot. Had a dream about her last night where she was in bed with her work colleague and i was somehow allowing this to happen while sleeping in the next room, then in my dream one night i couldn't take anymore when i heard him touching her and bringing her to orgasm

In a fit of rage i think i attacked him in this dream, i woke up feeling very angry then this emotion turns into despair and depression. Man, what a wired dream, i was basically a cuck-hold in this dream/nightmare.

Anyway it turns out my van needs a fair amount of money to repair it, about £600 plus. I only have about £300 to my name so i'll have to lend money off my mum who i live with and only is on a state pension with little saving, i feel very guilty about this.

My mental disease/illness as really done a good job of effing up my life upto this point of 39 years old and it's so apparent now i'm sober 24/7. I thimk this ultimately has been my reason for relapse in the past. Along with loneliness.
I only have one friend i can still be friends with now, all the others smoke and or drink i just can't be friends with them anymore cos they always trigger me

On a more positive note i know what i need to do. I need to get back to my BJJ training and start canvassing for my business.

Hope you're all doing better than me lol.

George
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#85

Postby Cali-Detroit » Sat May 19, 2018 3:09 pm

Hang in in there George. Yes, the sobering reality of sobriety is a bit much to take at times. I was right where you were not 5 years ago, but without a clue. Good news is you're ahead of the game and doing the hard work.

I can relate to the aggressive tendencies. Hell, one of the benefits of weed was a reduction in that madness.

It's helps me to focus on what life might look like in 6 mo, in 1 year, further on even. I wonder what a rewired brain can accomplish vs an inebriated one. I know that I'll never know if I don't follow through, especially at our age. There's still time, plenty of it. Just none left to be fkn about anymore.

Just some thoughts, hope the day gets better.
Peace
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#86

Postby George from UK » Sun May 20, 2018 4:48 pm

DAY 30

Feeling really really good today, people! Hope everyone is feeling half as good as me! Just had my dinner, very healthy. I've been training BJJ in my back garden for about 4 hours today.

George
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#87

Postby George from UK » Mon May 21, 2018 8:42 pm

DAY 31

Feeling back to "normal" really. Although I've been using drugs since i was about 14 or 15 so i'm not sure i know what normal is hahaa.

Got my van back today and i'm £600 lighter for the pleasure of the garage visit

Hope you're all doing well?

George
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#88

Postby DefiedOdds » Mon May 21, 2018 9:22 pm

Today is my first day without smoking, good work on passing the month mark once again! You can do it George, just keep staying busy, but don't forget to relax every now and then too!
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#89

Postby George from UK » Mon May 21, 2018 10:00 pm

DefiedOdds wrote:Today is my first day without smoking, good work on passing the month mark once again! You can do it George, just keep staying busy, but don't forget to relax every now and then too!



Thanks brother! And good luck on your quit. Just knuckle down on the first 3 or 4 days and that's the hardest part over in my experience. Delete all weed dealers number etc. tell friends and ditch the ones who wont understand. I've got one friend left but now i look back those others weren't good friends anyway. We were only drinking drugging friends.

My weed dealer texted me the other day. I got a lot of joy telling him i'd quit. He's lost his cash cow now lol. I bet i was paying his mortgage with the amount i bought off of him lol

George
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