Roommate's Friend

Postby ScornedOne » Sun Apr 22, 2018 6:09 am

So my roommate has a friend who is a complete and utter jerk to me. He's over here every single night until dawn. I can't talk to her about it because she thinks he's right and I'm the jerk. He constantly starts crap with me, she takes his side and I have to clean up after both of them. I don't have anywhere else to go, so I don't know what to do.
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Apr 22, 2018 1:11 pm

-1- You don’t have to clean up after anyone.

-2- Why are you up until dawn each night? Why don’t you go to bed?

-3- You need to set boundaries with the roommate. This includes a written agreement and using the lease if you must.

-4- Why can’t you go anywhere else? You pay rent, right? You can find another option. What is keeping you there?
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#2

Postby ScornedOne » Tue Apr 24, 2018 5:42 am

1. If I don't, I risk my actual roommate screaming at me for an hour again. I have PTSD from childhood abuse. I can't have that done to me again.

2. I've had chronic insomnia since childhood. I feel better at night than in the day. It also gives me an excuse to sleep all day and avoid both of them.

3. She doesn't pay rent, her grandma pays for it. I am too submissive to try to set boundaries because I am afraid of her screaming at me again.

4. My emotional support animals keep me here. No one wants to rent to a 22 year old girl with 2 cats and 2 dogs. One being a pitbull/boxer mix. I cannot be without them.
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#3

Postby Candid » Tue Apr 24, 2018 6:31 am

Have you had any kind of talk therapy for your PTSD, ScornedOne? And are you aware that PTSD from childhood abuse is now known as Complex PTSD?
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#4

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue Apr 24, 2018 1:01 pm

ScornedOne wrote:1. If I don't, I risk my actual roommate screaming at me for an hour again. I have PTSD from childhood abuse. I can't have that done to me again.

2. I've had chronic insomnia since childhood. I feel better at night than in the day. It also gives me an excuse to sleep all day and avoid both of them.

3. She doesn't pay rent, her grandma pays for it. I am too submissive to try to set boundaries because I am afraid of her screaming at me again.

4. My emotional support animals keep me here. No one wants to rent to a 22 year old girl with 2 cats and 2 dogs. One being a pitbull/boxer mix. I cannot be without them.


How does your therapist or how have any therapists advised you to handle conflict in the past?
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#5

Postby BrianDorsey » Sun May 13, 2018 2:45 am

With jerks it is difficult to live. You don't have to clean up after them. Put them back and tell them you don't like it.
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