How fight this?

#15

Postby Leo Volont » Mon Jun 11, 2018 6:41 am

Hi Guess What,

I like the “thanks pal” at the end. You see! It works. To have a friend you have to be a friend. You’re building camaraderie. You see, its easy! Keep up the good work.

Okay, well, for a young guy you don’t drink too much. Just make sure that you stop whenever you begin to see double. When you see double, don’t have another drink for at least an hour. If you want to go outr with friends and drink, space yourself with only one drink each hour, and that way you can last all night without getting overly blasted. What I used to hate when out drinking with the guys was ‘buying rounds’ because it tends to speed up the pace, so after only two hours everyone is already wasted enough to call it a night, but they’re only beginning. Its great to be an old man because old men don’t do that young men silly sh** (but if they do I say “phuque no! I’m not crazy enough to try to keep up with you old booze hounds”).

Oh, about bullies. What a lot of people don’t realize is that most bullies do not see themselves as bullies. They think they are just kidding around. A lot of times if you take their ‘bullying’ in stride then they think you are ‘man enough’ to be one of their friends. And ‘bullies’ are a lot like predatory animals in the sense that they chase which ever animal breaks from the herd and runs. So, never break from the herd and run when you see a bully. Avoidance behavior only attracts their attention. Again, never treat an enemy differently from how you would treat a ‘friend’… I mean a normal acquaintance. Heck, even greet them. Yes, you might think that they will think that you are only showing them respect because you are afraid of them… but if that is all they want, then give it to them, right? Remember, you just want to figure out how to make the World work best for your own happiness, and mostly that means making everyone else happy too. Win, Win. Everyone wins. Pleasing everybody is the best way of carrying out being selfish, and everybody loves a smile, so smile.

Oh, about women. I used to be a real hound dog when I was young. I had a lot of ex-girlfriends. The best thing there is to treat them just like a friend that you have known for a while. After all, you do know a lot about them, and they know a lot about you. BUT, you don’t refer to anything from the time you were running around, except perhaps in a knowing good-natured whisper when nobody else is listening. But never refer to anything that might have been unpleasant. That is what is known as being ‘civilized’ and ‘discrete’. You know, once it gets around that you are a ‘civilized’ and ‘discrete’ guy, it will be much easier to get a date… heck, chicks will ask you out.

Yes, everything I am telling you is new and different. It will take time to sink in. It might be months, or years, before what I am saying now will kick in and you understand. But you are still young. But, yes, get those books.

Oh, somebody else wrote in. I better see what he wants.
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#16

Postby Guess what? » Mon Jun 11, 2018 5:50 pm

Good morning Leo.

Well, yeah, I like your tips, and I understand better what I have to do, and it was an honest "thanks". Anyway it is not different when I say "goodmorning *insert dumb but good nicknames* " to my friends, or coworkers.
Just hoping to do not meet that people who say "good morning a faque" or "Who says that I'm your pal?"
Can I still say puns to prick people if they are not evil?
For example today a coworker of mine said "I wanna another qualification"
and another one say "You don't deserve another one",
and the first "I have none"
and so I said "You just said that you wanna "another qualification" so it means that you already have one" with.. ehm.. a challenge face.. can we call it like this? I don't want to have seemed a jerk.

I drink much instead. Just now I want to drink less, even 'cause I do too much bad things. Once I was sad 'cause I thought that after I'm drunk "my real persona" comes out, and I am so stupid, whiny, immature, worthless and envy.. and sure i am, but when I'm drunk, this mess comes out. but maybe everybody have shadows inside, and my choose to keep them inside is the proof that I'm better than I thought. doesn't it? Sorry for the poetical tone, just to let you understand better what I mean. Ok, one drink every hour, I will drink max 1-2 beer/drink per night from now.

Pleasing everybody is the best way of carrying out being selfish, and everybody loves a smile, so smile.


With a sedate smile. I don't wanna look like an idiot. xD

About women my situation is hard. I don't know if it can matter but i had bad experience in the past, when i was a child. then I'm virgin, and I had dates with max 5 girls. So I kissed many girls (but nowdays people kiss dogs too), but never went ahead except for the one of the other topic but erectile disfuction didn't help me.And mostly many, many, many girls shot me down. I don't even talk with women with whom I had fun, 'cause I know that I will act as whiteknight, deleting that pinch of pride that remains to me. Just like i did more of once. And mostly 'cause i don't look for anything except "love" or sex from them; so if they push me back 'cause they see me as trash, I have not reason to be their friends. For what? Being their puppy. Tsk.
They don't care as well, so we are all happy.

For girls with whom i had nothing, I treat them like good acquaintances. :)

Sure I did many mistake with the last one, so I played the last game with every girl she know. Well, sometimes this means nothing, but I'm not a big appeal, so.. yeah, i played my last game.
Mostly if now I change my doing way, people starts to think that i'm crazy.
Today, with a message they started to talk about my hard feelings with women.

Just said "On tinder girls are crazy"
1st dude "Everybody is crazy"
me "Yeah, i said "girls" 'cause I knew them, but I know that even men are crazy there"
2nd dude "calm down, man. Nobody said you are in trouble with girls"
Me "I'm calm. I just wanted to be clear. Did I missunderstand that 'everybody is crazy' "

But probably he already knew about my doing way, so he used a simple message to attack me.
Somebody else wrote in? Do you mean Mustafa? He said to do not mind his post, so I did it. :)
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#17

Postby Leo Volont » Tue Jun 12, 2018 12:14 am

Good Morning Guess What

You brought up two issue today that peaked my interest. First, there is what you mentioned about 'good-natured humor'. Really, among none-angry people the worst thing that gets them into trouble socially is their senses of humor. It seems that people who think they are comedians suppose that insults aren't really insults if they are accompanied by a derisive laugh. But, wow! The laughter just makes it worse, doesn't it? You need to stay completely away from any insult humor. Don't poke fun at anybody's expense. You can make fun of yourself, the facts of life, various occupations. But you need to show an unflinching respect for the people in your life. After all, you have no idea what people may be sensitive about. You know, that person whom you accused, humorously of having no qualifications, well, he or she would not be the last person who has ever felt that a job was a bit over their heads and hoped that nobody else noticed. Honestly, Guess What, you probably just made another enemy. If it happened recently, you should catch them alone and make a little apology... say that you were being rude and stupid and were just parroting some a stupid joke you saw on the TV, and then tell them that there isn't a more competent worker alive, etc.

Now, about women. This is very counter-intuitive, since popular culture has foisted on us all the idea that Men pursue women. but the opposite is true. No, women will not chase men, or not normally. What women do is that they show by signs of approval to whichever men that they would agree to date. Really, it does a man no good to chase a woman who from the very beginning doesn't want to be caught. And then there are the masculine characteristics that appeal to women. What studies of Humanity shows us is that men will seek sex high and low -- social and group status does not matter, and men will have sex whenever the opportunity arises (anything in a skirt that offers). but women tend to look upwards. A woman will measure her own social status in a group and will date only 'even or above'. Young women might go for the 'Bad Boy' type, but that is because such men as they select for that role are typically the leaders of their little group of friends -- the center of attention. mature women will seek out men who have actual status in the real economic World -- men with good careers and who can offer a prosperous life. So, Guess What, where would you fit in with all of this? To get young women, first you would need to establish yourself in a group of men, and expect that you could only date women, from a group of women, who are placed at your own level or lower.

So, to actually have a women, you have to, well, look low. Even if you pick "even" then the girl will always be wondering whether she did not pick too 'low' herself. Many women fall out of love because deep down they think they can do better than the man they already have. If I were you, I would focus on my career. As soon as you are perceived as worth having, then you will begin to notice certain women looking at you differently. It will be that 'go ahead' look that you have never seen before. I think you will know what it is once you see it.

Now, more bad news. Love is usually problematic in that one person loves the one more intensely then that love is returned. Well, who do you think has all the power in that relationship? Well, the one who loves the least. But since they are not so much in love, they really don't care about having all the power, do they? its a kind of paradox. Being greatly in love takes your power away, and you only have power when you don't really want it. My advice is to get some cats. One never gets lonely with one's little best friends around all the time, and they are very low maintenance. And if you get tired of them, well, you can toss them out the door without worrying that they will come back with a lawyer.
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#18

Postby Guess what? » Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:01 am

Hi Leo

Leo Volont wrote:Good Morning Guess What

You brought up two issue today that peaked my interest. First, there is what you mentioned about 'good-natured humor'. Really, among none-angry people the worst thing that gets them into trouble socially is their senses of humor. It seems that people who think they are comedians suppose that insults aren't really insults if they are accompanied by a derisive laugh. But, wow! The laughter just makes it worse, doesn't it? You need to stay completely away from any insult humor. Don't poke fun at anybody's expense. You can make fun of yourself, the facts of life, various occupations. But you need to show an unflinching respect for the people in your life. After all, you have no idea what people may be sensitive about. You know, that person whom you accused, humorously of having no qualifications, well, he or she would not be the last person who has ever felt that a job was a bit over their heads and hoped that nobody else noticed. Honestly, Guess What, you probably just made another enemy. If it happened recently, you should catch them alone and make a little apology... say that you were being rude and stupid and were just parroting some a stupid joke you saw on the TV, and then tell them that there isn't a more competent worker alive, etc.


Wait. I just let him notice that he contradicted himself.
He said to want another qualification, for then saying that he have none. The truth is that he has already one but he is hiding this for no reasons.
That's all. I didn't say anything evil or offensive, another coworker said "you don't deserve it" not me.

And how i have to do if somebody want have fun on me instead?


Leo Volont wrote:Now, about women. This is very counter-intuitive, since popular culture has foisted on us all the idea that Men pursue women. but the opposite is true. No, women will not chase men, or not normally. What women do is that they show by signs of approval to whichever men that they would agree to date. Really, it does a man no good to chase a woman who from the very beginning doesn't want to be caught. And then there are the masculine characteristics that appeal to women. What studies of Humanity shows us is that men will seek sex high and low -- social and group status does not matter, and men will have sex whenever the opportunity arises (anything in a skirt that offers). but women tend to look upwards. A woman will measure her own social status in a group and will date only 'even or above'. Young women might go for the 'Bad Boy' type, but that is because such men as they select for that role are typically the leaders of their little group of friends -- the center of attention. mature women will seek out men who have actual status in the real economic World -- men with good careers and who can offer a prosperous life. So, Guess What, where would you fit in with all of this? To get young women, first you would need to establish yourself in a group of men, and expect that you could only date women, from a group of women, who are placed at your own level or lower.


Yes, I know that normally men have to be "better" than their women. It's rare the contrary.

Leo Volont wrote:So, to actually have a women, you have to, well, look low. Even if you pick "even" then the girl will always be wondering whether she did not pick too 'low' herself. Many women fall out of love because deep down they think they can do better than the man they already have. If I were you, I would focus on my career. As soon as you are perceived as worth having, then you will begin to notice certain women looking at you differently. It will be that 'go ahead' look that you have never seen before. I think you will know what it is once you see it.


This is really sad, but I already knew this.
But you don't understand that I hate being alone. I'm not ok with this situation. Nobody can be.
My career is nothing. I have not a stable job, if I die the just replace me in no time.
22 years old, I just want some love that nobody gave me. Job don't give you, and if tomorrow I will die? I spent my life in nothing.

Sorry, I'm not agree with this.

Leo Volont wrote:Now, more bad news. Love is usually problematic in that one person loves the one more intensely then that love is returned. Well, who do you think has all the power in that relationship? Well, the one who loves the least. But since they are not so much in love, they really don't care about having all the power, do they? its a kind of paradox. Being greatly in love takes your power away, and you only have power when you don't really want it. My advice is to get some cats. One never gets lonely with one's little best friends around all the time, and they are very low maintenance. And if you get tired of them, well, you can toss them out the door without worrying that they will come back with a lawyer.


Yeah i know. With that girl I was in controll as I acted like not really interested.
But deep down, Women just let you think it. They can have men in no time, so..
In fact now the situation is contrary. I'm looking for her sometimes and she just blocked me from everywhere (but i don't stalk her) and put her and my friends against me.

I have cats. And the thing about "out the door" is terrible to say.
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#19

Postby Leo Volont » Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:53 pm

Good Morning Guess What,

In regards to indiscreet, insensitive and even rude jokes about one's self, well, the first priority is to avoid showing that your tormentor hit any kind of a weak spot. But while everybody is laughing you are allowed certain mild denials such as "I'm not THAT bad". You need not look pleased, but certainly you should pretend that it is no big deal. Now, often times, humor that pokes fun at you is pointed, correct, and also inconsequential, which focuses on some kind of mannerism or characteristic that doesn't really matter one way or another. In that case you might even join into the humor. For instance, humor about one's self being a bit overweight. Well, okay. It's not like you can hide it.

Now, about being lonely. Really, the cats don't help? Well, I am very much older than yourself. Perhaps you also need a hobby. I was about your age when I picked up the violin (now, music in general, and I jump every few years to a new favorite instrument). You see, if you always have some creative project going, then you would have the consolation of knowing that any woman would simply get in the way of your creative endeavors (for instance, when I was married, slowly by slowly I had to give up all that I had been before -- sold my target guns and reload equipment, my record collection and even my violins), but I did take up 'running'. I thought it was because I wanted to be healthy and stay in shape, and so after work I would come home and put on my running shoes and do a good six or eight miles which would keep me out of the house for a bit more than an hour. When I left that shrew and got a job in another city, I came home from work, put on my running shoes and was about to go for my run, when the idea hit me, that 'what did I need to run away from? that I was finally alone and left in peace". It turns out that my running was just to get away from my wife. But, yes, later, I got back to running. I also got back into my music. Never got back into shooting. It is macho and everything, but ammo supplies cost a fortune and cleaning guns is a royal pain in the butt. Also, it became too political, and I hate being on the wrong side of history about things.

Oh, yes, that was a terrible thing I said about cats. You see, that is an example of how humor can get one into trouble.
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#20

Postby Guess what? » Wed Jun 13, 2018 6:10 am

Yeah i know that my humor can be evil.
For that girl, last time we met again, i said that she is an a**hole, she said "do you remeber that you kissed another one?"
I answered "No. And sorry again. You know i felt really bad too."
I gave her a carees and then said "anyway you stink".

She doesn't talk to me anymore. Mine was supposed to be a pocked joke. Well she did for real, but the next day she explained that she has hormonal problem, so..
Well she said that she will cut me off from her life, and i was angry too so we had a fight.

Then i say sorry and "you know i care about you" and that she made it bigger than what the thing really was.
Maybe i made the situation worst. Amd the fact that i still talk about her with other my and her friends won't help. I suppose.
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#21

Postby Guess what? » Wed Jun 13, 2018 4:30 pm

Here I am and good morning.
Sorry for bad and direct answer, but usually I'm at work when I answer you.

Yeah, I have a "hobby": cooking.
I'm a newbie, I started doing it when I still was with that girl. Plus, when weather and time allow me I take walks.
I think I need human's heat, not something that can distract me for a little bit of time.
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#22

Postby Leo Volont » Thu Jun 14, 2018 12:38 am

Good Morning Guess What,

Honestly, Guess What, in regards to your fixation on women, this is an area where you really need to apply Cognitive Behavior Therapy, that is you have to think about whether all of this obsessing over women is helping you or hurting you. I would suppose that most of your loneliness sources from your not allowing yourself to think about anything else. Yes, young healthy men will inevitably be visited by physical yearnings, but it doesn't take anything so very elaborate to take care of that. To satisfy hunger we actually need food, but to satisfy our physical yearnings, we only need a moments privacy. Also, an important part of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is to dispute your unrealistic thoughts. For instance, in your thinking about women, you must be thinking of them as 'good things', despite all your experience regarding them. Maybe you watch too many Movies and too much TV where all romantic encounters are presented with happy endings. The truth is quite the opposite. Even people who think 'relationships' are valuable and important give us the constant litany that 'relationships' take a lot of work. Well, if relationships "take a lot of work" then, really, how much fun could they possibly be, right? Would you pay to go into any amusement park where they advertised that any fun you had would "take a lot of hard work"? Probably not. Perhaps you have nothing to lose in surrendering your life to a woman and having her make all of your decisions for you.... well, its not that bad, but imagine having to consult another person about everything you do. Any man in a relationship with a woman might as well dress himself in a little pink pinafore because his identity is bound to be effeminatized (some women can tell just from looking at a man that he is married -- the effeminization is actually perceptible). You know, a lot of men who like to retain their full independence and masculine identity simply set aside in their budget money for dating professional women -- paid escorts. Yes, it is expensive, but once you find the perfect escort, then it becomes a date on one's calendar that one can look forward to. To get around prostitution laws many escorts will 'go out' only for gifts of jewelry (and keep the receipt in the box so they can return it money). The jewelry stores make a great deal of the money from all of this (almost as much as they make with the wedding ring scam). The jewelry store charge a certain percentage for "repackaging fees" when they issue refunds. Some jewelry stores never bother to do the 'repackaging' as the same customers will come back and purchase the same item, for the same purpose, again and again and again. Now, yes, that seems expensive. But one only has to pay out while the experience is entirely positive. But with a relationship there are no easy ways out, and if you get married and go through a divorce, well, it can sweep away your life savings -- everything you worked for going to a woman you now hate (oh, I heard a funny joke a while back ..."Don't waste time getting married. Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house").

Perhaps you can read a few books from English fine literature, which portray realistically some horrible outcomes in relationships. There is George Elliot's "Middlemarch" where the nicest guy young Doctor in the whole world has his life ruined by a pretty air-headed spendthrift wife. There is Somerset Maugham's "Of Human Bondage" where this one poor guy goes from a bad relationship to a worse one. Then there is the masterpiece of "I'll never go near another woman again" in Thomas Hardy's "Jude the Obscure".(with so many plot turns that I must re-read it every few years to straighten out a confused memory of it all... the only thing that I can clearly remember being "I'll never go near another woman again".
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#23

Postby Guess what? » Thu Jun 14, 2018 4:21 pm

Good morning Leo.
I think you don't understand, but it is because i explained it bad.
I don't need a body, or even a body, but i want somebody who cares about me. I wanna be the special person for someone.

I had a canche and i burned it.
Now i'm afraid to live my life alone, biting myself for the rest of my life cause i lost the only one in 22 years.
People say "you are still young" other people say "don't listen to them. People told me the same things and i wasted time"

This is my future? I prefer the suicide then (joking).
I'm really sorry that you had bad experiences with women, but you had something at least.
Life is even a sort of game, have people around you and hold close who is important and fuctional for you. You are the protagonist of your life. And you are chosing by yourself to being alone.

About me? Well i didn't chose it. People are deciding for me if i worth or not.
And it is not so simply, living your life without spending time with friends or girls. If i disappear somebody will notice it?
Well, i did it one years ago, and the answer is No.

Am I under human being level?
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#24

Postby Leo Volont » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:23 pm

Good Morning Guess What,

Really, Guess What, even if you want to live with a female roommate (who will seem in the way and underfoot after the romantic feelings on both sides dissipate in usually around 6 months), well, you will never achieve that goal while in your present mindset. Did I say before that the girls make all the choices in these things, and the only thing up to the guys is to assent when they’ve already been selected? Well, girls also like a challenge. They would not see a challenge in getting you. You are too willing, almost too needy. You would come off as being overly co-dependent. They would suspect that you would be too cloying, emotionally demanding, and probably the jealous type. It would be no fun for them, don’t you think? And, as the song says, “girls just want to have fun”. What they find as fun is to get what they think is a great guy who seems to not be able to care less for them until they work their magic feminine wiles . They want to be able to ‘get noticed’ by applying all their prized skills. They want to be able to flirt and banter their way into a man’s heart. They really want to do most of the hard work. Yes, formally, the guys do all the ‘asking’, but in reality they are being manipulated and maneuvered by the women, or so the women would prefer to believe.
So, Guess What, this is one of life’s paradoxes, and counter-intuitive situations, that you can’t get what you want because you want it too much. You are scaring away the girls that you like so much.

There is nothing that can be done for you in this regard until you realize that you have an insuperable problem with your present orientation towards women. We have been through this sufficiently. You are in denial about it. You think that just you wanting a woman in your life so very badly is a certain justification for your mindset. Well, no!... not if it prevents you from getting exactly the thing that you want. You need to change. First, you should take some pride in being a man. While still appreciating all the positive things about females, you need right now to focus on all the glory in the masculine traits, even to the point of pitying women for their lack there of. You must be able to walk into a room with girls without looking around. Of course, be polite, but totally to form – say “good morning”, tip your hat, and then move on. Treat no one girl any differently than you treat all the others. Don’t make eye contact, and if you do, don’t hold it. Appear to be too busy for them. Even when I used to date, and I believed that a woman was beginning to show interest in me, I made it a point of not talking for more than 20 seconds. I would flirt for less than 20 seconds and then look at my watch and walk away, sometimes without saying good-bye, as though I only spoke to her in passing. And that is what they seem to like. They get to feel as though they stopped me for a moment and that they were able to pry a smile and a kind word out of me. And then they swear to themselves that the next time they will do even better. If they want to do all the work in commencing a relationship, then let them. Its how girls have fun. Why should we deprive them of it?

So, yes, Guess What, if you really want a woman in your life you should become focused more on exactly how you need to act to get her. It’s a mindset. It’s a new attitude. In addition to working on your Personality to resolve your irritability issues, you will also have to work on your masculine deportment. Here the ideal to concentrate on is an obvious selection. Think of yourself as a Spanish Bullfighter… oozing with pride and self-assurance, but already so buried in female admirers that he frankly finds them all quite annoying. That is the role you need to be able to act. And when you are able to finally perfect it (enough) then be patient. Don’t latch onto the first girl that falls into you man trap. Oh, there is a phenomenon that you will learn of soon enough – it is that once you get one girl friend, the other girls will notice you. Surprisingly, it is not beyond the allowances of feminine ethics for one girl to steal another girl’s boyfriend. So, if you find that one girl is becoming interested in you, don’t commit yourself early, but just take a ‘wait and see’ attitude for a while and see what other girls begin to flirt and get underfoot with you. Usually the second girl that starts chasing you carries a higher status in the girl crowd and so that is the one whom you would really want, unless you share some tangible common interest with the first, and perhaps the lower status girl will be able to hold onto in the longterm.
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#25

Postby Guess what? » Fri Jun 15, 2018 10:23 am

Hello Leo!
I don't know how explain it.
I want to be wished, right now, not tomorrow for my money, but now, for the person who I am. I don't care if for my mind or my body, it must be just me.

World doesn't work like this? False, I have to say. In part at least.
I'm 22 yo but I know perfectly how people, women, are superficial and annoying. I did my travel in sites where the thread is well talked.
Just put some rules. She can't take every decisions, she doesn't agree? The door is right there. Do not marry, for the love of god (irony); marriage nowdays is like a trap.
Money, time and sweat for what? Marriages that last at least 2 years are the strongest marriages today.

A friend of mine yesterday told me a thing that no one told me. No other friends, no psicologistes, no random people.
"You need a sort of love that me, an animal, or a friend cannot give you. You need to be appreciated for any side of your person. And you need to be accepted as a man."
I think he is so right.

One girl give me a chance, and i burned it in a night where she wanted to stay with her friends, she was tired of my behaviour (i was really drunk), and I was seeing a friend of mine get a chick with nothing. The same chick that 2 minutes before was trying with me.
So when the girl went home, I tried with one (i don't remember this, but a friend of mine said yes), and then I found the same chick from before and kissed her.

Stop there? No. I knew to did a mistake, but then I take a contact from another girl that I knew already.
Now, Me and that girl was dating from just 2 weeks. It was just a kiss, and even if that contact from another one was or something more, i didn't do anything with her. But I could feel that my girl wanted more, even 'cause she went out from an hard story, even if She was living on his back (money); when I said that I kissed another one (and come on, it was just a kiss, she kissed her gay friend too) and I was serious with her, she left me. Maybe even cause she understand that i was mentally a baby. I don't know, i don't care anymore about her.
Even 'cause now, with tinder, she's dating some hot guys, so if one day she will come back, I have to say no, because she will return just because those hot guys want her just to empty their balls.
And maybe she is happy like this.
I sound so misoginist to everyone, maybe it is so. But maybe i'm right.

But let's skip this. Long talk for nothing, my point is supposed to be another.
Why did I do that?
I was happy, in part, with that girl. In part ok, but nothing is perfect.
I'm newbie about relationships? Sure, but friends make me open my eyes with "it is not the number of your relationships to make you mature"
So the problem is in me.
E I wanna know what is it.
I don't wanna "Don't mind about" "Find an Hobby" "You are young" or something like this.
I wanna know what is wrong with me and fix it. "But it is part of you" ok, but I don't like it. I'm forced to live with something that i don't like?
This part of me made me suffer for months. And sometimes I fell again in that vortex. This is not normal.
It is not normal that I become so morbid with girls. It is not normal that i become paranoid. it is not normal that I start to feel so many hard feeling against others. Even if i'm pretty sure that they have lost any interest in me, or they have hard feelings for me as well, since that girl is their friend. But they know me before I started dating with her, they had my support when they needed it; and now?
Me "Don't fool that person"
He "look who's talking"
And any sort of offensive pun or joke.

But maybe it is me, I still talk about her sometimes, tiring them, and I can't find another girl so they think I have not ways to go ahead.

Here, i wanna talk about this. Anyway, in my doctor's opinion. I have depression, even 'cause i can't get hard with girls.
Then I will read well your post.

Anyway thanks for your support, buddy; i realize that I'm annoying you like i did with others.
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#26

Postby Leo Volont » Fri Jun 15, 2018 11:56 am

Hi Guess What,

You are going over the same ground. Don't focus on how bad your life is. Focus on the solution to your problems and how you will make things better. You are still so young. I am more than three times older than you and I am still planning and making changes in my life. I gave you plenty of good advice. If you took half of my advice, then in 10 years you could be king of the world. But how much time are you going to waste by just crying crying crying. Well, you had your good cry, now dry your tears, brace yourself, drink a strong cup of coffee, and get to the work that your life has cut out for you. You can be whoever you want to be. the one person that you do not want to be is the person you are now. the best thing about you that I have seen is that you have a clear and cogent understanding that you have problems. But I am worried that you are somehow incapable of taking any concrete actions to fix your shortcomings. Guess What, it is time to move forward. Also, I would appreciate it if you would only write in to this forum when you are sober.
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#27

Postby quietvoice » Fri Jun 15, 2018 12:11 pm

You want to be accepted/acceptable? Be that way with yourself. No one is going to think more of you than you think of yourself.

If you feel that you need to "work" on yourself, there's no shortage of personal development media (internet, books, classes, personal coaching) available to you.

edit to add:
But how much time are you going to waste by just crying crying crying.
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#28

Postby Guess what? » Fri Jun 15, 2018 3:32 pm

Good afternoon Leo

I will read once again the entire thread.
Technically I can't drink coffee, looks like it is bad for the depression, ahahah.
Actually, I'm doing things; since, like you said, I know to have problem.
First I will have an hormon exam, since many head issues can born from this.
Then today I took a date with psycanalist. I remember you said that we don't do anything less than a therapist can do; but my condition is controlling my body as well; so i have to do it; hoping that drugs don't consume me more then how I am right now. A dude told me to go to a psychotherapist, I don't even know the difference, and my doctor took the date, so.
Last, but more important, I'm in a surgeries way. Don't missunderstand me, I'm not obsessionated with these things, but if a better looks will make me feel better (and I know it will do) why don't do it?

Sorry for my crying. I always was a crybaby. You aren't the only one who told me this in the forum. Well, you aren't the only one who told me this in my life.
I think this is part of me. And i don't like this as well. I wanna changed, but I told you, I'm afraid that keeping bad things inside me will destroy me, that one day I will get so mad to hurt myself and others.
It already happened once.

But I am worried that you are somehow incapable of taking any concrete actions to fix your shortcomings.


I am wondering this too, and I'm afraid to know the answer.
The only one change that i got in my life was lose weight. Well, nowadays I still have hunger attacks, but i'm not fat.

Also, I would appreciate it if you would only write in to this forum when you are sober.


What do you mean? I'm not drunk. XD
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#29

Postby Guess what? » Fri Jun 15, 2018 3:43 pm

You want to be accepted/acceptable? Be that way with yourself. No one is going to think more of you than you think of yourself.


What do you mean?
I don't think this works actually. I thought good about myself for a long time, years ago, and nothing changed. This is why, today, I'am asking what is wrong.
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