Relationship anxiety

Postby WannaSurvive » Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:37 pm

Okay, I’ve always had anxiety and most of which is tied to relationships. I hope this is an appropriate sub forum to have this topic in.

So, I’ve been with this girl for about 6 months. We’re close in age, late twenties and she admittedly has many male friends. She has been involved in a work activity and there’s a male coworker, whom she’s said she didn’t have interest in (made comments unprovoked), who she works with closely on this over the summer.

Recently, they had to go somewhere to meet others and decided to carpool with this guy. He’s single, a bit older than her, and is playful (I’ve never heard it crossing a line). This made me super uneasy.

I get the vibe that this guy wants to get close to her and I am actually upset that my gf decided to be okay with carpooling with him. The excuse of saving gas just didn’t make sense and makes me a little upset. My anxiety has been tied to our somewhat differing views. She’s very outgoing and talkative to males, and I’m introverted to an extent. I also don’t believe men and women can legitimately be friends without one party having some type of feeling or “desire” for the other.

Do you personally feel that I’m overdoing this? They’re on an outing with others, but going together while I’m at work. Part of this admittedly, is my jealousy and also my anxiety that something will happen or he will flirt with her and me not knowing. I have trust issues with almost everyone, but I do trust that when she says she loves me and I mean the world, that she means it.
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#1

Postby quietvoice » Sat Jun 09, 2018 1:08 pm

Here it is from my female perspective.

Most likely the man is interested. If a man is wanting to hang around a particular woman, you've got to know that he is interested, if only in his dreams.

On the other hand, speaking from my own experience, it doesn't matter how interested this other man is, if I have absolutely no interest beyond friendship or as a co-worker, then that's that. It's not happening. Ever.
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#2

Postby DrPsychFeels » Tue Jun 12, 2018 12:43 pm

WannaSurvive wrote:I also don’t believe men and women can legitimately be friends without one party having some type of feeling or “desire” for the other.


True. Unless they're both in happy, committed relationships.

So one way to determine the extent to which she's interested in this guy is to look at your relationship.

If you guys have a lot of fun and a deep connection and a lot of sex and it's good sex, then you have nothing to worry about.
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