i think im addicted to my heroin addict boyfriend

Smoking, drinking, drugs. Whatever the object of addiction, it can ruin your life - get help here.

Postby naila » Wed Oct 19, 2005 8:15 pm

I am sat at home right now stressin as i cannot get in touch with my boyfriend, he recently conffessed to being a heroin addict and ive been trying to help him get clean, however, its getting really difficult.

Every time he leaves the house i stress about where he is, and as he doesnt have a mobile, as he sends up selling them fof money so that he can score ill send him out with mine, which he either switches off or doesnt answer which gets me anxious and i start to panic that hes taking drug/been arrested or that something has happened to him, my constant paranoia isnt helping his cause but i cant help it and i dont know why.

Im a third year student and the stress of uni and money is affecting me greatly, not to add the problems i have with my family, my elder brother hates and resents me thinks he can go around hitting me so i dont have much of a relationship with my folks because of this,

I cant talk to my friends bout alot of this as their advice would be to leave my b/f and he thinks he should leave me too but that wouldnt help either because if he wasnt here i would be worried about him even more. He may be addicted to heroin but im addicted to him and am always feel anxious worried and deppressed.
Last edited by naila on Wed Oct 19, 2005 10:48 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby satanstoystore » Wed Oct 19, 2005 8:36 pm

*hugs* he needs to be put in capable hands for treatment and you need to give up his well-being and development into the hands of God. I'm not usually religious but I have a very short comforting prayer if you're interested. You're both in my thoughts and prayers.
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Postby allyKAT » Mon Oct 24, 2005 4:30 pm

I have been through what you are going through and believe me I know it is hellish for you...as well as him.

Only you can decide if you want to stay in this relationship - some addicts recover some do not but it is always a very long road for both people.

If you do want to stay with him my advice would be as follows:

The chaos of not know ing where he is - the phone being switched off etc idsthe behaviour of someone who wants to use and be wasted but who does not want either you to know about it, or be involved , or do it in from of you.

Sometimes the motivation behind the secrecy is good (don't want you to be involved) sometimes its more selfish than that- care about the Gear and nothing else matters.... Only you can know where your boyfriend is at. Trust your instincts.

You must try to stop worrying about him and detach. If he is arrested, taking something, your worry will not change things. If he feels like he has to check in with you, he will only pull the other way. I know this is hard I find it hard myself...but the trick is to be there when he is ready to talk and do your own thing (for you) when he is not. Don't let the trauma and shock of being involved in this relationship make you obsessed with him and forget about yourself. Try to switch off when he is out...I know it is hard.

Anyway best of luck chick its a long road

Let me know how you get on

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Postby Dieing Slowly » Mon Oct 31, 2005 1:44 pm

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I also feel very sorry for your boyfriend being that i too am also an active heroin addict. But that dosnt make us bad people we just have a MAJOR problem and are not capable of holding any honest healthy relationships with anyone. I am 20 years old and have been using for 3 years now. Im hurting and i know that you and your boyfriend are hurting too. I also have a 2 year old daughter who i love very much and its killing me that i cant stop this i just want to be clean for her and am still making clean attempts, i will not stop trying to get clean its such a fight every day. so just because he wont stop cause your telling him to dosnt mean that he dosnt love you im sure he does, he just cant stop. Heroin consumes you. He needs to get help.. ( i need to take my own advice) which i am i am registered to start rehab in 2 weeks. I hope this works if it dosnt i dont know what eles to do. He will not get help until he feels hes ready you can not make him otherwise this will not work, he will not get clean. Tell him he needs to get help and you can help him when he decides to reach out to you.
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Postby jurplesman » Tue Nov 01, 2005 6:38 am

The only way of dealing with this problem is to get treatment for heroin addiction. Heroin addiction is often seen as a weakness of mind and personality, but heroin addiction is a physical disease that can be treated.

Most heroin addicts are found to be hypoglycemic. This can be tested with Medical Test for Hypoglycemia.

It can also be tested with the paper-and-pencil test called the NIB

Once proved positive an important part of treatment is going on a Hypoglycemic Diet.

It may take up to a year for the brain to rebuild normal receptors for neurotransmitters, but this could be speeded up with the high protein diet.

It is also important for an addict to undertake PSYCHOTHERAPY, to rebuild his personality. As a partner I strongly recommend this course to make you fully aware of some of the difficulties that your partner may have to face. It will help you with how to handle him.

NA may be also useful only if he treats the metabolic disorder at the same time.
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Postby Linz » Sat Nov 05, 2005 3:10 pm

Nalia, I've just got clen after using Heroin for two and a half years. It can be done. It's so hard though. Please don't give up hope. I'm still in the very early staged (day 19) but I'm determined to stay off this evil drug. Your boyfriend is not acting rationally and won't as long as he's hooked on this filth and I'm sorry to say babe that there is absolutely nothing you can do to change him while he's in the grips of it. He will change when he wants to but it has to come from him and he has to be ready. It's not that he doesn't care about you, Heroin takes over your life and when you're not taking it, every waking moment you are chasing it as you know you need to have some evry 4-6 hours on average (some people can go a bit longer). Your life is a constant battle against withdrawing and scoring. It's not just a case of him going to buy a bit gear once a day. It's a terrible life being a heroin addict, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Now I'm clean but my partner's still using, its causing all sorts of fights between us. I am really having to fight the cravings (the little devil on my shoulder sits there all day long telling me just one hit will be ok). While he's still going out to score and is still getting smashed. It's making my fight all the more difficult. You have to make your own time for yourself and go out with your friends and try not to think of him constantly, there's nothing you can do untill he asks for your help. Believe me, you don't want to go to the places he's going to score and get wasted, it wouldn't be nice. I can't believe some of the places I've ended up over these years and to think I hadn't even seen Heroin 3 years ago! Good luck to you x
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Postby Sianee » Thu Nov 17, 2005 9:47 pm

hello my names sian & im in exactli the samesituation!
I dont know what to do & i love my boyfriend to bits! :cry:
Could you please contact me - blaze10_99@hotmail.com
THANX
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Postby Unstopableprincess » Sun Dec 04, 2005 8:09 pm

Hi My name is Jessica and i am fairly new to this, i stumbled across your situation and i know exactly what you are going through. Trust me that you are not alone on this even though it feels as though you are. My boyfriend is also a heroin addict and it is so hard to be the one on the other side watching it happen and knowing there isn't much you can do. But as long as he doesn't want help you cant help him as hard as that is. The truth about heroin is that only 2% of heroin addicts actually get clean and stay clean, and i think those odds are hard to swallow. I think that focusing on yourself right now would be the best thing and if he decides to stay clean then great you can continue on with your relationship. But i know that is way harder than it sounds or else i would be doing that also. But i wish you the best and i hope someday we both can be happy.
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Postby redski2000 » Sat Dec 10, 2005 2:20 pm

Hello,

Herion Addiction is a Diease. You didnt cause it, cant cure it. There is alot of information on this. An exteremly useful tool I use is going to alanon meetings. ( Its for family members of Alcholics/Addicts.)

I too lost myself in trying to fix my girlfrind. I stop caring about anything else. I was obsessied(addictied) My career started going down the tubes, my son took the back burner, My day was in continuios fear of what my partner was or was not doing. Going to Alanon and talking to people in that fellowship has brought me back to life. I started taking care of me. (which is so important) I wish you well on your journey. Its really tough. but you can get better. None knows wether you should leave or stay in your relationship but I trust you will get your answer and your not alone.

here is the alonon website so you can find a meeting. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org ( it talks about the alcoholic family but it works the same way for the drug addict family as well.)
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Postby redski2000 » Sat Dec 10, 2005 2:20 pm

Hello,

Herion Addiction is a Diease. You didnt cause it, cant cure it. There is alot of information on this. An exteremly useful tool I use is going to alanon meetings. ( Its for family members of Alcholics/Addicts.)

I too lost myself in trying to fix my girlfrind. I stop caring about anything else. I was obsessied(addictied) My career started going down the tubes, my son took the back burner, My day was in continuios fear of what my partner was or was not doing. Going to Alanon and talking to people in that fellowship has brought me back to life. I started taking care of me. (which is so important) I wish you well on your journey. Its really tough. but you can get better. None knows wether you should leave or stay in your relationship but I trust you will get your answer and your not alone.

here is the alonon website so you can find a meeting. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org ( it talks about the alcoholic family but it works the same way for the drug addict family as well.)
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Postby naila » Sat Dec 31, 2005 4:05 pm

hello all!

Thanx for all the comments and advice!

Well heres the update, he's been trying to get off the stuff and has been doing ok, going to councilling and taking DF's, however now and again he feels the need to use and the after affects of his drug addiction have come to haunt him, he was shoplifting to feed his habit and has just been charged and on remand to appear at courd next week, this episode goes back months and although hes been doin well, this is yet another knock back. Im trying my best to be a little optimistic and hope that with the new year we can have a new start, i know he wants it as much as i do, lets just hpe his will power is stronger than the addiction.

its been the hardest thing ive ever been through but if me helping and loving him helps him get through this then i will be happy!
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Postby smith house » Sat Dec 31, 2005 5:29 pm

:) naila,hi! i agree,you can't do it for him....just support him as he does it... for yrs. my husband was a using junkie...have known him for 30+yrs. and watched it almost kill him :( he put himself in detox,deciding he had to kick it or die...wasn't easy,still isn't...but he did it! :lol: we have 2 beautiful daughters,a 2yr.old grandson and another grandson on the way! :lol: EZ(our grandson)is tha apple of his eye,as are our daughters! you just have to trust in your ability to say no or yes to wether this relationship is good for you,safe for you....ain't gonna tell you gonna be easy,but if you are committed to staying with him,you cannot put yourself with him when he may be out in situations where he may be using or wanting to use... there were and are times i worry about my husband,even tho he has been clean for 12yrs. now...check to see if narc anonymous has an equivalent to al-anon in your area.. take care of yourself,please!!
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