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VictoriaMillward
New Member
Joined: 06 Dec 2005
Posts: 1
Location: York, North Yorkshire
Tue Dec 06, 2005 9:58 pm
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| Blushing/ Redness in public |
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Hi,
I suffer from blushing in public, well at least thats what i think it is - i have had this for years now and its getting to the point where its ruining my life. for example, ill be at work and a member of staff will come up to me and ask for some help etc and then the redness starts. It was always told when i was younger that i would "grow out of it" but i havent. A big poart of this could be to do with confidence, ive looked on several sites about it and its not that im wondering what another person is thinkin about me. I dont really know what triggers if off but thoughout a normal day it will happen at least 5-6 times, whats makes it worse is when people point it out. Alot of people in the office tend to cut the convosation short as they can see that i look extremely uncomfortable! I feel as though i havbe got so much to say somtimes but know that if i did open my mouth any more than usual i would look like i was about to explode. Is there anyone else who suffers with this - i dont know where to go with it.
Thanks
Victoriax |
wish i didn't get red
New Member
Joined: 09 Dec 2005
Posts: 1
Fri Dec 09, 2005 1:09 am
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I know exactly how you feel. My face gets red over things too. If i have to speak in front of the class, or if I get called on it gets really bad. It started for me when i was 13, but now i am 19 and it has gotten worse. It prevents me from doing alot of things. Sometimes in class i want to speak out so badly but i can't because my face will turn red. If my face didn't turn red i would be so much more confident |
Shamrock
New Member
Joined: 15 Dec 2005
Posts: 5
Thu Dec 15, 2005 8:05 pm
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It was as if i was reading about myself, and because my name is also Victoria :)
I blush loads of times a day and it is also starting to change the way i think and make decisions. I even try so hard to avoid certain situations so i dont have to get red, and the weird thing is: i am a very social outgoing person.
And then when people point it out it get's worse..i so hate it when they do that! But now i just say: i would rather be a redhead then a shithead.
It is on my mind all the time, i worry about it non-stop. |
gcw229
New Member
Joined: 11 Jan 2006
Posts: 3
Location: UK
Wed Jan 11, 2006 5:37 pm
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Hey Vistoria,
I was just browsing and read what you said! I had this problem for years (i'm now 22) as well and it got to the stage where it affected everything that I did. I even went to a hypnotherapist to see if it helped. Now I find that if I go red and I think about it it gets worse - so I try to ignore it. I know this is easier said than done, but I find it works.
I then began to go to counselling at my uni and my counsellor explained it to me and said that when you concentrate on the redness you become hypersensitive to it and forget the rest of your body. Perhaps others don't even notice - although i find this hard to believe because i really can go spectacular shades of red!
Now i either ignore it or laught it off. Anyway, people get used to seeing you like that and then you feel more comfortable, don't think about it to the same extent and you find it isn't as bad.
So don't be hypersensitive to it!
Hope this helps,
Gem. |
mrshappy
New Member
Joined: 14 Jan 2006
Posts: 4
Sat Jan 14, 2006 12:09 pm
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| redness |
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hi
i suffer with redness to the cheeks whenever i have to speak in front of people i am not embarassed just red! i am a barrister and it was getting out of control as im sure you can imagine standing in front of a high court judge and declaring a case with a tomato face isnt the best look.I spoke to a therapist who has helped me control my redness by thinking about having ice cold water thrown over me just before or during speaking.My nickname within chambers is the ice queen perhaps its even more so true now. |
dunravin
New Member
Joined: 15 Mar 2006
Posts: 6
Wed Mar 15, 2006 12:57 pm
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Me too.....the more I start to go red, the more I feel my cheeks burning = more blushing/going red. All in one big circle. |
Explorer
New Member
Joined: 17 Nov 2005
Posts: 1
Fri May 12, 2006 8:17 pm
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Hi Matt! I'm 20 and have blushed for as long as I can remember. During that time I have come up countless theories as to why this is, but in the end it always boils down to the fact that I'm afraid of blushing and when I'm in situations where I may become the centre of attention-when I dont want to be-I become absolutely afraid of someone calling my name and centering attention solely on me. For me, that is the worst part-the ridiculously high levels of anxiety I get, just because I'm expecting to become the centre of attention. When I then speak and blush I feel silly, but it's not half as bad as that feeling of anxiety beforehand.
I see blushing as I sign of weakness-it has stopped me from speaking out in so many occasions. But there, I think, is the answer to the problem. like good spirit said 'I've just adopted an, "it is what it is" attitude about it'. You have to keep telling yourself that your opinion counts just as much as the person next to you. You have just as much of a right as them to speak your mind. At the same time, you can't keep associating your blushing with negative thoughts-this is the hardest part-it's so easy to associate blushing with negative thoughts because blushing has never helped you in the past. But if you dont change the way you think about it then you'll always feel edgy.
There have been occasions when I've been petrified of giving a speech, but after it is over, I feel GREAT. I think 'that was no way near as bad as i expected- i actually enjoyed it after a while!' Think back to those times where you thought blusing would bother you, but didn't. How did you feel? Then, next time you feel anxious really concentrate hard and bring back that feeling of confidence that you HAVE felt before. Then run throught in your mind getting up and giving a speech with that positive feeling oozing throughout you. Really believe it though-tell yourself you will get better, gradually, day by day. You will have days where you feel bad, but when you have better days, you will feel invincible and that the planet is your playground.
Sorry it's a long one, but I hope it helps. Please post back if you hav any queries.  |
moo_moo
Junior Member
Joined: 13 Aug 2006
Posts: 25
Location: London
Sun Aug 13, 2006 6:43 pm
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| Yay me too! |
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I know how you feel...
Everytime I speak to anybody my face turns BRIGHT red.
It's so embarrasing isn't it!?
You can feel your face turning red and that makes me even more nervous, it's just something I have to live with.
Oh well.
K8
xxx |
megan3
Junior Member
Joined: 12 Jun 2006
Posts: 22
Fri Aug 18, 2006 9:16 pm
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hey Victoria
i also suffer from going red a lot of people do but i find it always seems like its only you..... when people point it out they do it to make themselves feel highter up so what you could do is point it out yourself then your telling yourself you are it can ease down and make you think "yeh im goign red so what".... when it happens think of it as a good thing as a unique thing if you think of it in a possitive way and treat it liek that then others around will see it doesnt bother you and may decrease in not saying anything
going "red" is caused by the callipliers in the facual area
wearing green makeup can help to cover it not sure though
but wearing for example a red t-shirt can increase the redness
thinking of things cold can help or drinking a lot of water
doing back to the calliplies thing.... the skin on our face is light but when going red its a lot thinner than nothings who dont do red as easly... it can be thinned more when in the sun to must
love to hear how things go 4 you
meg xx |
error265
Preferred Member
Joined: 24 Aug 2005
Posts: 639
Sat Aug 19, 2006 12:58 pm
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bloody hell....the idea is to get rapport then say something positive; not get rapport that exgerate your own symptoms in competition! |
megan3
Junior Member
Joined: 12 Jun 2006
Posts: 22
Sat Aug 19, 2006 2:30 pm
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wasn't doing that at all, my "symptom" as you say doesn't bother me
therefore i'm in no competition with anyone
i was just trying to help any1 who came across it as not alot of others were giving advice, just what happens to them |
jisell9036
Junior Member
Joined: 22 Aug 2006
Posts: 20
Tue Aug 22, 2006 6:43 pm
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I think that the whole blushing concept is like 99% mindset and 1% actual blushing. If you change your perspective on it, it is not half as bad as you think it is now. I get a really extreme case of it, but because I have changed most or all of my perspective about it, it happens less often. I find it very helpful to research about it to find out as much information as possible. I like to have that "edge" to explain to people about something they can only wonder about. If you talk to people about it in a positive (or atleast neutral) way, people are less likely to think you are so uncomfortable about it. Instead of saying things like "omg I hate this, it's ruining everything, it's so horrible," say things like "well, it's a condition in which the sympathetic nervous system dilates capillaries in my skin. Sometimes things can trigger it very easily.." It will probably be harder at first to explain it like that, but after a little while, you'll find that people are quite fascinated by it and want to know more.
To help with the confidence, I suggest trying to find a cosmetic cover up of some sort. Resort to that if it is really stopping you from living your life. However, don't set your hopes too high, thinking "no one will ever see it again." It will probably still happen, but it's until you change your mindset about it that it will happen less and less. The cover up would help you to not care whether or not it happens because it would cover most or all of it up.
And if you really do feel uncomfortable somewhere, pick up a hobby like knitting or crochet. It helps you get away from it all. |
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or talk to me. I was very shy too, i never talked to any girls hehe.