How do i tell my boss im leaving?

Postby Sally Brown » Mon Jan 16, 2006 8:42 am

I have decided to leave my company after just 3 months but i'm agonising over how to tell my boss.

Basically i am not enjoying my new job at all and have had one or two problems with my work colleagues, which i have spoken to my boss about but didnt get me anywhere. Due to this i am ready to hand in my notice and eagar to leave the company for a new job. However, i dont know what to say to my boss. I know she will be disappointed and maybe even angry with me for leaving during my probation period but i wont change my mind and just want to get this over with but really need some tips and advice on what to say to her. I dont feel comfortable talking bad of my work colleagues and feel she may try to change my mind but i want to be firm and just say i'm not happy and that i want out....RIGHT NOW! But how do i do this properly?
Sally Brown
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#1

Postby coach » Mon Jan 16, 2006 10:23 am

Put your notice in writing, making sure you have met the terms of any employment contract and hand it to her. As she opens it explain what it is. Say you are grateful for any help she has given you in the past (if she has that is) and that you have enjoyed xyz about working for her (hopefully there is something positive to mention). You have indicated previously that all was not well and so this probably won't come as a complete surprise to her.

By way of explanation you could say that you feel the new job will provide you with more job satisfaction. Surely the purpose of the probationary period was to see if you were right for the company and whether the company was right for you?

If you feel she is going to be difficult about you leaving I would suggest you limit the amount of explanation that you give her, after all you are not obliged to explain the ins and outs of your decision making to her and if she intends to argue over your reasons for leaving then the more detail you give her so the more information she has to argue with.

If she starts to get angry or rant, say you think you should get on with your work and leave her to calm down.

Finally, when you leave the building try not to walk down the corridor shouting 'yes'! 'yes'! 'yes'! while jumping up and down doing ankle taps!
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#2

Postby Sally Brown » Mon Jan 16, 2006 11:05 am

Haha i'll try!

Good advice there thank you, i will definately bear all that in mind when i do finally hand in my notice. It will be such a relief once its done as i have been wanting to leave for the last month but have been covering for people off sick so its been very difficult. I will write my letter and just hand it to my boss and fingers crossed it wont be too awful!!

Feeling much more confident now so thanks again!

Sally
Sally Brown
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#3

Postby Pookie » Mon Jan 16, 2006 12:35 pm

Hi Sally Brown,

It will be easier to write your letter of resignation, once you have a firm job offer with another company.

Then, the reason you are leaving will be that you have an offer of another job, that you feel suits your life goals better.

If you are anxious about your bosses reaction, then hand her your notice (in private), and say that you would like to discuss it with her and a representative from Human Resources to understand what happens next.
With HR involved you should find that your exit interview is conducted appropriately and professionally.

Questions in the exit interview, asking what they could do to keep you from leaving have two purposes. Firstly, to see if they can retain you, but also to see if they can improve the working conditions to avoid losing other staff. The best service that you could give the company before you leave, would to be honesty about your reasons for leaving.

Good luck in your job hunting.
John
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#4

Postby Sally Brown » Mon Jan 16, 2006 12:54 pm

Thank you!

Yes i would prefer to have another job before leaving my current one and it would definately be easier when telling my boss. I will definately bear your advice in mind when doing my letter of resignation and when explaining my reasons for leaving.

Thanks again!
Sally Brown
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#5

Postby Lyndsay Swinton » Wed Jan 18, 2006 1:39 pm

Hi Sally,

You've had some great advice so I won't blether on needlessly. I wrote something you might find useful - exit interview article.

If you haven't got a new job lined up, you might want to consider how you are going to tell the story of why you're leaving after such a short time. It's best to have something prepared, otherwise you'll flounder during e.g. an interview, and be tempted to tell the honest truth. My advice is no matter how rubbish the situation is, say little about it and put a positive spin on whatever you do say.

Good luck with your new job.

Warm Regards
Lyndsay
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#6

Postby Sally Brown » Wed Jan 18, 2006 1:51 pm

Lyndsay,

Thanks for the article, i'm sure it will be very useful.

Yes your right i dont want to leave it any longer. I am planning on breaking the news to my boss on Monday because i think the beginning of the week is better. Even though i am trying hard to find a new job before i hand my notice in it doesnt seen to be working that way so i will try and get a good story together as to why im leaving, other than 'new job'.

Thanks again for your help

Sally
Sally Brown
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#7

Postby willv28 » Wed Jan 18, 2006 9:02 pm

Pretty much all that's been said here is all that you can do. Unless you're putting them at a severe disadvantage, there shouldn't be too much to worry about. I doubt it's the first time it's happened.

Me, I'm in a different yet similar situation.

I work from home. But I work with someone I lived with and worked for until this new job came up. I still live with him, now I work with him. Everyone else has been real supportive of my anxiety here and I like the people. The business the person we work for is kinda hap-hazard. Many days are filled with trying to get info from people or in calls and nothing gets done. The owner is kinda a cheap skate. But somehow I feel this is the best I can do and my only opportunity. I want to go back to school so I'll need to quit if I get up enough courage to go back.
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#8

Postby willv28 » Wed Jan 18, 2006 10:03 pm

Plus, in general, I'm having a hard time deciding when I'm unhappy if it's because of the job. Or...because I'm being selfish or I just don't understand how to do it. I mean to me this is normal. Plus I hate weekend work. I'm scared to laugh or say pretty much anything at work. Or do anything because I think people will do something to me.
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#9

Postby Sally Brown » Tue Jan 24, 2006 11:02 am

Can you believe i still havent had the courage to hand my notice in yet? I keep putting it off and avoid speaking to my boss knowing how i feel, its awful. I was determined to do it yesterday, and now today but she makes it difficult and im dreading her reaction. Reading all your messages has helped me to gain the confidence but the more i think about it the more i cant bring myself to do it, its ridiculous, what do i do?
Sally Brown
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#10

Postby coach » Tue Jan 24, 2006 12:59 pm

Hi Sally

It might help if you can say a bit more about what it is that she does which makes telling her more difficult?

Also, when you think about her reaction, what is it that you fear ... ?

You mentioned that you are on a probationary period and so I would have thought there is a time set for a review of your suitablility?

If so, why not ask her to bring that review forward?
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#11

Postby Sally Brown » Tue Jan 24, 2006 1:09 pm

Hi,

Thanks for your message.

I guess i worry that my boss is going to be quite shocked to know that i feel this way and want to leave the company, maybe even worried that she will be angry and disappointed in me.

Yes my review is Friday but as i have to give a weeks notice the sooner i tell her the sooner i can leave. I have a meeting with my boss this afternoon at 3pm so will try and get the courage to tell her then. At the end of the day i want to leave so she deserves to know that, its just difficult, i'm not a very strong person and find these sort of things extremely hard!

Thanks, Sally
Sally Brown
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#12

Postby coach » Tue Jan 24, 2006 1:59 pm

Can you seperate out "what your actions are/will be" from "you".

As an example, if your boss is disappointed, it will be because you are leaving, i.e. she is loosing your skills, etc.

So, she isn't disappointed with you... just the opposite, she's disappointed that she is losing you as an employee.

Maybe she has been supportive to you, but that was because you are a employee worth supporting. If she is reluctant to lose you, it suggests that you responded to her support and she values you as an employee. So you haven't let her down by leaving, you've met her expectaions of you and now you are bringing a successful phase to an end.

I appreciate this may sound obvious, but maybe you just need to keep reminding yourself of it.

Anger is an emotion that can sometimes be a container for sadness and disappointment, but dealing with that is her responsibility
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#13

Postby willv28 » Tue Jan 24, 2006 6:18 pm

I would do it. They're not going to hate you, they're not going to think les of you. Just don't make it sound like you're trying to hurt them.

As for me. I stayed and stayed in a bad situation. Yesterday I was fired from my job. It can happen anytime to anyone. Trust me, you're more loyal to her than she is to you.

Is it more important to be loyal or more important to live for yourself. In reality, they don't care about you. They'd dump you faster than a speeding bullet if they saw a reason to.
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#14

Postby Sally Brown » Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:38 am

Hi,

Thanks for your messages since i last wrote. Well i finally done it yesterday, i handed in my notice and you would not believe the relief i felt afterwards. Considering how nervous i was i done it well and explained exactly how i felt to my boss and she was surprisingly really understanding. Your right you do need to live for yourself and do whatever makes YOU happy at the end of the day, you cant stay at a job you hate just because your too scared to tell the truth. My boss even said she didnt want to see me unhappy and that i had to do whatever it took to make me happy, what a surprise, very unexpected! :lol:
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