Joined: 25 Jan 2006
Location: New England
Sun Jan 29, 2006 5:48 pm
|Plastic pants fetish - Qualities a partner needs...
While this deals with a fetish for plastic pants in particular, it is still relavent for fetishes in general.
First and foremost you and your partner should genuinely love, respect and support each other in achieving your goals. If you do, greater tolerance and acceptance should follow. However, it is critical to discuss your fetishes, faults and foibles before legalizing a relationship so that both partners thoroughly understand to what they are agreeing. This may not be as necessary for people who are living together and have already incorporated these interests into their lifestyle. But even then, there are exceptions.
A lot depends on your partnerís level of acceptance. Remember that two people living together in a relationship free from legal boundaries are apt to be far more tolerant of each otherís behavior. The partner intent on seeing this union consummated at the alter will be more reluctant to do or say anything to jeopardize this goal regardless of how they really feel. Donít automatically assume your partnerís tolerance for your fetish within this lifestyle represents a level of acceptance that will continue after you take your vows. A marriage contract is a binding agreement subject to certain laws. It suddenly creates an official structure bound by rules and regulations and individual rights. The partner that reluctantly remained tolerant through the courting process may now consider the marriage contract a license to reveal their true feelings about issues they secretly considered unacceptable. If this revelation is accompanied by an expectation of change, as in their refusal to indulge your interests any longer, a potentially destructive situation is created that needs to be resolved. Ignoring it wonít make it go away; allowing it to fester will only make it worse. In the meantime, the loss of satisfaction you once enjoyed from having your needs fulfilled will almost certainly lead to anger, resentment and frustration.
For something as emotional and potentially controversial as two people indulging a sexual fetish, it only makes sense to gain a thorough understanding of the dynamics involved. One way is to visit a professional counselor or sex therapist together before anything is legalized. In addition to gaining greater insight into the psychosexual nature of the situation, a safe and open forum is created in which both partners can ask their questions and voice their opinions, concerns and expectations in the presence of someone with the training and experience to provide the kind of informed answers they need. However, the value of this exercise is directly proportional to the openness, honesty and dedication of each partnerís willingness to seek the truth. While this may become an uncomfortable, highly emotional journey of enlightenment, it is a necessary journey, nevertheless, that must be traveled together.
Even then success is not guaranteed. People being who they are and the world being what it is, expecting the unexpected is wise advice. For better or worse, people change, and familiarity still breeds contempt. What once was tolerated, may no longer be acceptable as the marriage unfolds, especially if there is a perception that the need to satisfy the fetish replaces the desire for making love. In addition, having the opportunity to explore the extent of your fetish may release latent desires you never knew existed.
Even if a fetish is successfully incorporated into your sex life, there is always the danger that a need for stronger gratification could compel you to push acceptable boundaries too far, taking your mate into areas where they are unwilling to go. Experiencing greater intensity may be the only way to continue to enjoy the high. Once again, your mateís refusal to acquiesce is likely to cause anger and resentment. Even if you can suppress the need to reach a higher level, unless you can bury it deep within your subconscious, suppression may be only temporary at best. Eventually something is bound to trigger a response that can no longer be denied and, since your mate is unable or unwilling to satisfy these urges, seeking gratification outside the marriage may seem like the only solution.
Honesty, tolerance and compromise are generally considered to be the cornerstone of any successful union. Relying on these qualities, before and after marriage, to gain greater clarity and understanding into each otherís lives is a critical theme that must remain constant. If it is, there is a good chance that two hearts really can beat as one.