People who always talk about themselves: "I" this,

Postby seenyr » Fri Feb 24, 2006 2:59 pm

I get so mad when in a conversation someone starts talking about themselves and their experiences when I didn't ask and don't care.
I have a secretary that drives me nuts with that habit.
Example: An employee asked me what I did this weekend. I said that I planted some tulips. The secretary went off on a five minute tangent on how "I don't waste time with that, they seldom came up. When my children were little...my mother used to..." etc.
Is it me? Do I need help? Or, how can I deal with this before I explode?
I've ended 2 personal relationships with women who have this trait.
When talking to a third party it was always "I", never "we"...I felt like I was non-existant...so I became so.
seenyr
New Member
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2006 2:37 pm
Likes Received: 0


#1

Postby satanstoystore » Sat Feb 25, 2006 7:43 am

Get the book Sleight of Mouth by Robert Dilts.

You can also practice what is called "Anchoring." Imagine perception is projection. This means data comes into the mind, the mind processes it, and projects it onto conscious awareness. Well, in the midst of processing a feedback loop is created. Pavlov described this easily. Ring a bell, present food to dog, watch dog salivate; dog hears bell, sees/smells food, begins to salivate. then later just ring bell to get dog to salivate.

why is this useful? because humans learn faster. Example: our secretary was talking about the sense of wonder she had when she was a little girl entering her families chicken coop. All the hundreds of chickens everywhere clucking. As she kept describing it I'd tap my finger on her desk. After that, everytime I passed her desk I could tap it with my finger and she would automatically restimulate her feeling of 'chicken wonder.' Now, wouldn't that be useful for a 'hurry-up-and-finish-your-story' feeling? or 'i better get back to work' feeling?

rather than get upset over it, make it fun.
satanstoystore
MVP
MVP
 
Posts: 8046
Joined: Fri Sep 10, 2004 4:50 pm
Location: seattle
Likes Received: 0

#2

Postby patrick j mcnicholas » Sat Feb 25, 2006 9:16 am

look to a sarcastic answer every time..this may hurt her feeling...
like this young lady kept on about her mum this mum that,and then she said " i look like my mum". and i popped out with " she must be an ugly ba^^ard then," not heard about her mum since
best of luck you can gag her!!
patrick j mcnicholas
Preferred Member
 
Posts: 607
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2006 10:48 am
Location: yorks england
Likes Received: 0

#3

Postby seenyr » Sat Feb 25, 2006 2:39 pm

Thank you for both replies...they are tied for "first place"! I'm going to apply both of them and watch the results unfold.
seenyr
New Member
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2006 2:37 pm
Likes Received: 0



  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to Anger Management