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Psychology forum home -> Anger Management -> People who always talk about themselves: "I" this, This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.

People who always talk about themselves: "I" this,


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Author Thread
seenyr
New Member


Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Posts: 2

Post Fri Feb 24, 2006 2:59 pm

People who always talk about themselves: "I" this,    Reply with quote  

I get so mad when in a conversation someone starts talking about themselves and their experiences when I didn't ask and don't care.
I have a secretary that drives me nuts with that habit.
Example: An employee asked me what I did this weekend. I said that I planted some tulips. The secretary went off on a five minute tangent on how "I don't waste time with that, they seldom came up. When my children were little...my mother used to..." etc.
Is it me? Do I need help? Or, how can I deal with this before I explode?
I've ended 2 personal relationships with women who have this trait.
When talking to a third party it was always "I", never "we"...I felt like I was non-existant...so I became so.
  
satanstoystore
MVP
MVP


Joined: 10 Sep 2004
Posts: 8046
Location: seattle

Post Sat Feb 25, 2006 7:43 am

   Reply with quote  

Get the book Sleight of Mouth by Robert Dilts.

You can also practice what is called "Anchoring." Imagine perception is projection. This means data comes into the mind, the mind processes it, and projects it onto conscious awareness. Well, in the midst of processing a feedback loop is created. Pavlov described this easily. Ring a bell, present food to dog, watch dog salivate; dog hears bell, sees/smells food, begins to salivate. then later just ring bell to get dog to salivate.

why is this useful? because humans learn faster. Example: our secretary was talking about the sense of wonder she had when she was a little girl entering her families chicken coop. All the hundreds of chickens everywhere clucking. As she kept describing it I'd tap my finger on her desk. After that, everytime I passed her desk I could tap it with my finger and she would automatically restimulate her feeling of 'chicken wonder.' Now, wouldn't that be useful for a 'hurry-up-and-finish-your-story' feeling? or 'i better get back to work' feeling?

rather than get upset over it, make it fun.
patrick j mcnicholas
Preferred Member


Joined: 11 Feb 2006
Posts: 323
Location: yorks england

Post Sat Feb 25, 2006 9:16 am

   Reply with quote  

look to a sarcastic answer every time..this may hurt her feeling...
like this young lady kept on about her mum this mum that,and then she said " i look like my mum". and i popped out with " she must be an ugly ba^^ard then," not heard about her mum since
best of luck you can gag her!!
seenyr
New Member


Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Posts: 2

Post Sat Feb 25, 2006 2:39 pm

   Reply with quote  

Thank you for both replies...they are tied for "first place"! I'm going to apply both of them and watch the results unfold.
  

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