Hi Puffnstuff, I am sorry that you are feeling depressed tonight. But I'm glad that you said you won't do anything to yourself, even if your only reason is your Mom. Hey it sounds like you don't feel depressed all the time, just especially tonight right? Well again I am really glad that you said that you will not do it. You sound like you do have a heart. It's clear that you really, truly do not want to hurt your aging Mom. You honestly could put that caring spirit to making some sort of a difference in the lives of others, and then you would feel like your life truly has meaning right? You post does sound intelligent, even if depressed right now. So I have a very strong feeling that you are here for an important reason. You have a heart, plus intelligence. Clearly God is intending to use you for something. Hey again I am sorry that you're feeling down tonight, that feeling won't last though. It never does. Hey, we on this board are here for you. We have each other's backs. Take care my friend.