[quote="zogd06"]<Im not quick witted when it comes to insults towards other people, and people even my friends at times tend to crack a joke and sometimes it gets to much.> This a good thing. It takes an insecure person to feel good puttiing other people down. Let's look closer at their motivation. It's a strategy to help them feel good... one up/one down, or better than others by putting them down. It works by finding a chink in someone else's armor and then exploiting it. By not saying anything they win... but by contrast trying to meet them toe to toe only plays into their hand. Here's a different approach.
In an earlier life I used to get teased and was the target of insult until I came up with this strategy. When the target of a verbal gaff, stop and turn towards them... look at them questioningly and say... "I don't get it." if they repeat it or try to explain it to you, say again like they just spouted out something incomprehensible, " I still don't get it." " Are you trying to be funny at my expense?" "Are trying to insult me?" Are you trying to have fun with me... or making fun of me?"
Using the word 'trying' implies what ever they trying to do isn't working. (conversational hypnosis)
secondly, their strategy only works as sideways blow. If you make them bring it out in the open and explain it. They have to admit that they are a low life. In the off chance they go all the way and say "Yes, I was trying to insult you. You respond as " Huh... did it make you feel better?" Still with atttude that you consider this a very ineffective strategy (method) to use.
"Why yes, yes it did feel good." " Well, I'm happy I could be help you feel better about yourself." and be done with it.
It will rarely go beyond the second, " I don't get it." They usually feel too naked attempting to explain their motivation and simply say "Oh, never mind." and act like you're weird. But every one knows, what happened with out any blood shed or you lowering yourself to their level of thinking.
< I act like it doesnt bother me but it does ALOT. I was thinking that maybe if I responded back with something good that I would stop taking the passive role all the time.>
It is helpful to look at these 'insults' as poorly formed opinions. A good friend of mine says that 'Opinions are like assholes and everyones got one. A few are even insecure enough to parade theirs around as if their's is truely special. But everybody knows it's just an a**hole blowing wind.' Or do you Brits use arsehole?
<BUt I cant think of anything to say thats witty or stings as much as other people's things.
I need to learn how to defend myself verbally. Whats the best way to learn how to do that?>
Rent the movie Roxanne with Steve Martin, it shows a real master handling insults.
Spread love not hate, it's more powerful,