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Psychology forum home -> Self Esteem & Confidence -> Fear of being around people and family :( plz help This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.

Fear of being around people and family :( plz help


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Author Thread
croftyy2k6
New Member


Joined: 15 Aug 2006
Posts: 7
Location: Leeds West Yorkshire

Post Tue Aug 15, 2006 10:10 pm

Fear of being around people and family :( plz help    Reply with quote  

Hi there im rob 18/m/uk and i have a serious confidence self asteem problem
a few yrs back i was really out going and happy then .... all of a sudden i lost all my friends **** nos how but ye!:S then all i have sone is sat inside and sit in a box (room) my own space if i come out of it i dont like it i cant even go to the shop without fearing somthing i dont no how to explain it but if i walk past like a group of people out side i automaticly start heavy breatheing and like sweating and my head automaticlly looks to the floor.... i hate it i just cant beat it i mean i have just recently started work but i still dont like that i just put my problems to 1 side till i finish work walking there and back is the worst like ill do anything to avoid people at all costs i even try to avoid my family like sitting down at meal time i cant do it:( would like to just cant.

I cant even talk to my parents at all i block all my family out and i comunicate over the internet cause i no what im saying and i can get it out without opening my mouth i hate been the way i am..... any body got any tips plz so bassicly

very lack confidence

low self asteem

cant even touch a gurl

no friends

stay in try to avoid people at all costs apart from work as i have to make a living.

i shake when im smoking near my parents i shake most of the times...Sad

would love to hear from u guys...Sad rob.
  
tomrigby2006
Junior Member


Joined: 15 Aug 2006
Posts: 40
Location: leeds west yorks

Post Tue Aug 15, 2006 10:25 pm

   Reply with quote  

hi rob i now its hard mate but at leest u can talk to me Smile
Conan O'Brien
Full Member


Joined: 30 Oct 2005
Posts: 143

Post Wed Aug 16, 2006 12:47 am

   Reply with quote  

I have very similar problems, I am sixteen and I just keep hoping it will get better with age. I have been hoping for years now. Sad

Do you feel suicidal?
Flexified
New Member


Joined: 14 Aug 2006
Posts: 6
Location: Colorado Springs, CO.

Post Wed Aug 16, 2006 4:20 am

   Reply with quote  

Hey, I can be the same. Especially in highschool. It's natural for me to look and a beautiful woman and just feel unworthy of her. Even sometimes, when I know she's a b*tch.

Anyways, I try to believe what I know and diminish doubt by as much as possible by finding all the POSITIVE references I can to support myself.

I believe that it doesn't really matter what's true or not. If you can get yourself to just gather all the reinforcing evidence to help you believe you can do anything, I think that's all that matters.
croftyy2k6
New Member


Joined: 15 Aug 2006
Posts: 7
Location: Leeds West Yorkshire

Post Wed Aug 16, 2006 9:42 am

   Reply with quote  

i feel like im a nobody it really sux i mean at work i feel pple are looking at me and my confidence goes from talking as i have to , to been so sillent and really down like my confidence goes from 65% to 0.0% and when pple get me down i start getting viollent like my blood pressure is so high i cant stop my self iv nearly been sacked twice cos of my temper over this its not a pretty site im 18 still a virgin cos i havnt got out or nothing and i just sit in and rot away and yes i feel all the time whats the point in living my mind its just bassicly blank every day:( im soo glad i can talk to someone that understands my problem glad im not alone.
Takidt
Junior Member


Joined: 13 Jun 2006
Posts: 36
Location: England

Post Wed Aug 16, 2006 9:43 pm

   Reply with quote  

hey, I get that feeling a lot. I usually try avoiding people when going out. I used to complain to my parent that I didn't want to go out shopping with them. But that problem kinda decreased for me. I used to worry about people looking at me... Cause I thought they would b*tch about me. I think I was paranoid. But I got to the stage that I didn't care about it.

Are you feeling depressed? Because avoiding people links to it. That you just want to be alone? This could be why you avoid people and the fact that you have no friends may conclude to that. I've began to lose friendship because my depression pushed people away.
Are you going to go to University since you're in Sixth Form now? You could start over with making friends.

I'm 16 now and I'm hoping things would improve. Especially now that I'm starting Sixth Form soon. I really don't know how to help, but you'll get through it. Smile Stay positive.
good spirit
Senior Member


Joined: 04 Mar 2006
Posts: 3219

Post Thu Aug 17, 2006 11:55 am

   Reply with quote  

Well that definitely describes how I was in my teens and early twenties. I'm 35 now and for me it really did get better with age. Some of the big keys are DON'T run from it. And don't be afraid to embarrass yourself in front of others. You'll learn as you get older that it's not that big of a deal at all. EVERYONE embarrasses themself in front of others from time to time, so the sooner you make peace with that and accept it, the better. Very Happy

Take care.
Ed_the_Red
Preferred Member


Joined: 15 Jan 2006
Posts: 403
Location: UK

Post Fri Aug 18, 2006 9:10 am

   Reply with quote  

Hi Rob,

I think it's a lot to do with age and things will get better, I promise.

I went through a similar thing and what I wish I knew then was to stay off things like tea, coffee, junk food in general, as that stuff really distorts how a person thinks.

Check for posts by "jurplesman". He has a nutritional solution for these kind of emotional problems.

You'll be fine.

Ed.
croftyy2k6
New Member


Joined: 15 Aug 2006
Posts: 7
Location: Leeds West Yorkshire

Post Fri Aug 18, 2006 7:46 pm

   Reply with quote  

ohh mate i do eat junk food every day like mcds as i work there and i drink 2 much tea and coffee but i dont drink alcohol i geta bit of exerce like walking all day and like for my bus and back bla bla bla and i smoke mabe if i quit smoking and Sh*t like that start eating healthy mabe things will be better? hmmmmm wel li have a job so that keeps me goin but i dont have no friends well i do on the net but not face to face asim affraid to like go out as i said and being around pple bla bla but ye could be thax for the tip to get off tea and coffee and smokings gunna be so hard thinking of like quitting smoking for the 100 th time lol might sucseed might not but meh lifes a bitch and sh*t happens. thnx tho
croftyy2k6
New Member


Joined: 15 Aug 2006
Posts: 7
Location: Leeds West Yorkshire

Post Fri Aug 18, 2006 7:56 pm

   Reply with quote  

well i told abit of a lie i drink rarely sorry:( but i dont drink every day mabe 1ce a week sometimes none
jadeepops
New Member


Joined: 18 Aug 2006
Posts: 1
Location: linconshire

Post Fri Aug 18, 2006 8:27 pm

heyahh .....this is 4 u crofty    Reply with quote  

heyahh hun i just wonted to say u got a lot of bottle to tell ppl ur probs i no ur a brave lad cuz i wouldnt have de gutts to tell ppl ma probs i no i shud but i dont anyway enuf of de sh** about me....lets talk bout u....i truely do understand what ur goin thru i no i aint de worlds best person to talk to but hey mate im always here 4 u....always remember dat i love u 4 who u r i fink ur a awsome lad and ppl will have to come a long way to get close to u cuz u rock dude Very Happy i no its hard babe but just try n get out more and dont b scared off ppl in de streets wiv loads of ppl they just wiv laods of ppl cuz they fink it makes em look hard (altho i hang wiv alot and i dont fink dat) a lot of de time when ppl see dat the person on dur own is worried bout em sayin summin they usally say summin cuz they no ur not gonna fite back...well i no its hard but dont look down look up and show em ur not scared of em...trust me babe it will work u gotta beliave in ur self u dont get anywhere in life if u dont have confidence...and i no its easy 4 me to say dat cuz i have confidence but it is actaully easy to get confidence....there is nothin wron wiv bein a virgin at 18 i fink its ownage to be honest means u aint a f***in prick who thinks his dick is his life like most lads do.....i no i aint ur ideal gf but id love to go out on a date wiv u even tho i am 14 i still fink de world of u ur a dif guy 1 of a kind and dats wht makes u speacial...well i dont no wht else to say really all i wanna say is....i hope u sort out ur probs and i do hope u get everythink u wont in life cuz u deserve it babe i aint bullshitin just to try n make u smile but u r worth it and remember im always here 4 u babe no matta what u can talk to me about anyfink hey i might b a lil young to udnerstand but ill try ma best to try n help u love jade....jadeepops_32@hotmail.com x x x Very Happy
croftyy2k6
New Member


Joined: 15 Aug 2006
Posts: 7
Location: Leeds West Yorkshire

Post Fri Aug 18, 2006 8:38 pm

   Reply with quote  

jesus christ am speachless:| lol awwwwwwwww ty very much made me smile kinda as i never smile well sometimes i really cant smile my lips are glued tight its hard when im working tho i look like a dick no doubt but hmmmmmmmmmm thanx jade Smile xx
hh23
Preferred Member


Joined: 20 Jul 2006
Posts: 331

Post Sat Aug 19, 2006 3:44 pm

   Reply with quote  

Hi Croftyy2k6 (Rob)
How are u today? I know exactly how u are feeling and u are not alone, i have really low confidence and i feel really trapped around people. i would like to have a chat with u sometime and we can talk about are feelings and help eachother.
Get in touch if u would like to chat... i'm a 23 female and i have suffered with low self esteem since about the age of 12.
Take Care x
croftyy2k6
New Member


Joined: 15 Aug 2006
Posts: 7
Location: Leeds West Yorkshire

Post Sat Aug 19, 2006 9:55 pm

   Reply with quote  

id like to talk to ya 2Smile msn croftyy2k6@googlemail.com
  

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