i am new to this board so please bear with me. i have a bad problem with my wife having pelvic exam or breast exam from male doctor. i dont know why this bothers me so bad, as i realize they are doing their job, but i have been this way even from my first marriage.(when i was 18, now i am 37). I actually made her switch to a female ob/gyn! i am not really a jealous kind of man, it doesnt bother me even if i know someone is flirting with her. but we have had 3 children already, and due another one, and i have asked that she also change to a female ob/gyn, after she explained her last visit to me. evidently he examed her with no one in the room, took longer than normal for the bimanual portion(thats where the doctor sticks his fingers in her vj and rectum), was so pre-occupied he forgot to do the papsmear and had to redo that part, and it went clear through me, i became enraged so bad that i was depressed for several days afterwards. until finally my wife asked what was wrong, and i told her. she was understanding, she told me she would be willing to switch doctors since it botherd me that bad, but it is still bothering me, i cant concentrate on my job or anything because i am so obsessed with this. when we had our second child, the doctor used her to train a medical student, i had no idea, so when he showed up to deliver the baby in addition to the other guy, i was very uspset,i askedeave the room, but no one complied to my pleadings, and the guy wound up delivering our baby. i really felt betrayed after my wife explained that he had been present during examinations as well. that still bothers me. i dont know how to deal with this emotion, it is such a POWERFUL feeling of hate that i do not experience other wise. when we go to the hospital i have visions of men running around looking for any excuse to put the fingers you know where. i have even considered trying to get our consent forms modified to exclude all male staff from the delivery room. am i the only one that feels this way? i have searched the internet to try and find similar situations and came up with nothing. if anyone has any serious input i would like to hear it. i only have a few months to go. i have searched all the way to my childhood to find some event that might be triggering this emotion, but i cant remember anything on this scale.
i am editing this a little, so i see a few has veiwed this, please respond with some input, especially if you are a doctor yourself and have seen this before.
thank you all