Confidence VS Cocky

Postby Coasterama » Sat Dec 30, 2006 1:27 am

So how do I know im not a cocky kid? I have tons of confidence in myself, and I came to the understanding that sometimes people look up to a little bit of cockiness. But lately I have come to think maybe im too cocky... I have never had this problem before. But I just recently told someone I could no longer be a good friend to them and one of their insults to me was that I act superior to everyone and I am cocky... Now a lot of my friends says this was not true, but how do I know they don't think I am cocky?
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#1

Postby ulv » Sat Dec 30, 2006 3:23 am

Cockiness and confidence are basically two very different things.

Cocky people: Usually don't listen to what other got to say, talk too much, can be very mean to others without any reason, act like they own everything, talk very much about them selfs and such on. What you can call a a**hole, if you don't know them or do.

Confident people: Talk with everyone about everything without any problems, have no problems meeting new people and act like they have known them for a long time, is always 'out there' and enjoys it, have a great-self image, doesn't take anything bad said about them personal, laughs when someone say something bad about them if its not an assault.

I hope you get the picture, if you act like you are all better then everyone you are probably cocky, which is people I don't like. Cocky + funny is great, but just cocky is being a a**hole.
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#2

Postby bert_ernie » Sun Dec 31, 2006 4:55 am

i think cockiness is maybe overconfidence? or perhaps being loud, brash and bragging about your talents. depending in the way it is done, i can find it amusing or just annoying.

often you see young new punks in professional sport dubbed as cocky newcomers. many times they may lose this cockiness after a season or two if they fail to perform to expectations.

so yeah i think cockiness is more about being big, loud and brash about how good you think you are.

here's what dictionary.com says anyhow:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cockiness
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#3

Postby Coasterama » Thu Jan 04, 2007 6:08 am

Ahhh I see... Well I know I am being cocky... my friend who tells me everything just told me that I have developed it.

The problem is, now everyone likes me, I am doing great with the ladies, and everything is going great. I am still a nice guy, I dont put others down... so is it just confidence?

People seem to like you better, but I hate cocky people when I observe them... Oh god is that what I am turning into?!?!
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#4

Postby turk » Thu Jan 04, 2007 11:29 pm

Coasterama

It's great that you're concerned about being cocky. If you were really cocky person you wouldn't even bother.

You maybe trying to overcompensate by "pretending to be cocky" for something that causes you to have lower self esteem than the rest of your personality.
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#5

Postby Coasterama » Fri Jan 05, 2007 5:39 am

Yeah maybe... there are times where I feel like I should be super cocky because I am so cool... I know im telling myself it just to boost confidence before a party or something, but still I am afraid I am taking it too far... I asked a bunch of my friends if I was getting too cocky. They said I have developed a tad cockyness but its only good and not to worry. However this group of girls that I used to hang out with that I kinda moved to the side due to personal problems insist I am a cocky self centered person. Its starting to drive me nutts because I know I should not listen to them but it seems like I always do!
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#6

Postby turk » Fri Jan 05, 2007 4:44 pm

Do you enjoy the attention you get by "pretending" to be cocky and look "valnuarble" with this made up problem rather than just being yourself ?

Sometimes it's easier to make up a non-existing problem to fix.
It's easier and doesn't require us deal with our real feelings
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#7

Postby Coasterama » Sun Jan 07, 2007 12:30 am

Well for example I like it when people say stuff like "I am always afraid you will say you don't want to hang out"

It gives me a sense of confidence ya know? Like, oh they feel as if I am a superior that they need my permission to ask to hang out.

Obviously I see how bad that is... But for some reason I have it in my head that if more people are like that to me, then I am more secure. Well I think it also goes back to the fact that when girls do it it shows I have a greater chance with them.

I want to say I respect girls a lot. Like consciously I feel like society treats them unfair, but as a teen I also feel like I have to get some, if you know what I mean.

What I am saying is that it seems like girls and even guys seem to like the confidence, or slight cockiness. It seems like subconsciously it triggers this idea that, oh they are super confident or cocky, so they must have something to be able to feel that way.

After reading this I feel bad about even thinking it...

On a bright note a bunch of my friends say I am cocky, but justifiably, and its not arrogance or annoying. So I guess its kind of confusing...
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#8

Postby jurplesman » Sun Jan 07, 2007 5:00 am

There is a clear distinction between a person in the "I am right position" and a person with a healthy self regard. A person in the "I am right position" usually has little insight into his behaviour.

Some of this has been discussed in my book here

I wonder whether that answers your question.
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#9

Postby Coasterama » Fri Jan 12, 2007 2:56 am

Cool thanks guys....

Only problem is now my mom thinks im cocky... ummmmm Now I guess I need to just get tips on how to destroy my cockiness.
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#10

Postby jurplesman » Fri Jan 12, 2007 3:10 am

Coasterama wrote:Cool thanks guys....

Only problem is now my mom thinks im cocky... ummmmm Now I guess I need to just get tips on how to destroy my cockiness.


If you want to change your own self-image as being "cocky", then you have to study the Positive Ego Training Program here.

If you want to change the image other people have of you, you need to study chapter five of my book here.

See at page 81, how other people judge you.
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#11

Postby dav1307 » Fri Jan 12, 2007 3:43 am

Is your book free?
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#12

Postby jurplesman » Fri Jan 12, 2007 4:42 am

dav1307 wrote:Is your book free?


Yes everything I write or do is absolutely free. Just click on the links!! But you have to do the work.
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#13

Postby Coasterama » Sat Jan 13, 2007 5:26 pm

Thanks, I have started reading, very interesting. I will be sure to finish up and report back!
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