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Time off sick from work due to depression


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AHIMSA
New Member


Joined: 03 Feb 2007
Posts: 15
Location: uk

Post Sat Feb 03, 2007 6:26 pm

Time off sick from work due to depression    Reply with quote  

Hi all, I was messing around on the internet and i found this forum-i couldn't believe my eyes-other people feel like me as well.At times i feel i'm going mad, I just feel i'm in a rut and want to hibernate away but never wake up.I have been suffering from depression since November 2006 and have been off work since then.I am an Optician and I feel if I can't look after myself then i can't look after my patients.My boss thinks i'm faking the depression because he claims i am good at my job.He doesn't know my history and i feel it is not fair for him to judge me like that.I was just wondering if other people are off sick from work or had been in the past? HOW MANY WEEKS were they off for and how easy or hard it was to go back to work again because the thought of going back to work is frightening me so much.
  
good spirit
Senior Member


Joined: 04 Mar 2006
Posts: 3219

Post Sat Feb 03, 2007 6:51 pm

   Reply with quote  

Hello and welcome to the forum.

First of all I've just got to say that I love your screen name!

Ok, here is something that should be a big help to you. It takes time to read through but will give you something meaningful and fun to do while you're off work right now. Very Happy

The Learning Path
AHIMSA
New Member


Joined: 03 Feb 2007
Posts: 15
Location: uk

Post Sat Feb 03, 2007 6:56 pm

   Reply with quote  

Thank u good spirit for your reply-Ahimsa means non-violence in Telegu. Have u taken time off work as well? How long for? I feel silly for taking time off work for depression-should i be feeling like this?
johnjoe
Senior Member


Joined: 22 Jul 2006
Posts: 1770
Location: UK/moved to Mauritius Nov 07

Post Sat Feb 03, 2007 9:33 pm

AHIMSA    Reply with quote  

hi,

I took 6 months out , however at the time I was working on a locum basis so I did not mention my depression when I went back to the agency 6 months later.

Just said I was travelling around the world.

I was afraid I would not get a permanenr position if people know about my mental health problems ( funny as I work in the mental health sector)

Joe
Sluagh
Senior Member


Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 1118

Post Sat Feb 03, 2007 9:43 pm

   Reply with quote  

quote:
Originally posted by AHIMSA
Have u taken time off work as well? How long for? I feel silly for taking time off work for depression-should i be feeling like this?

hello AHIMSA
i wonder how you feel about taking time off work? You obviously want to take time off work to look after your self but something or someone tells/told you it is not right to look after your self. You ask others how you should be feeling. you are not sure what feelings are appropriate. How to act when you feel like you need time off to look after yourself.
how do you feel about taking timje off to look after yourself? to nurture yourself and be good to yourself?
johnjoe
Senior Member


Joined: 22 Jul 2006
Posts: 1770
Location: UK/moved to Mauritius Nov 07

Post Sat Feb 03, 2007 10:22 pm

AHIMSA    Reply with quote  

Hi,

Just take the time out you need and when you feel ready then go back to work.

I agree that you (like me) worry and feel guilty about taking time out, but you know that you are not yet ready to return.

Try your best to relax and not worry about this for the moment you are the most important person here. I have been there know how you feel


Best Wishes

Joe
jaybee
Junior Member


Joined: 01 Feb 2007
Posts: 32
Location: UK

Post Sat Feb 03, 2007 11:23 pm

   Reply with quote  

I had an episode of anxiety and depression about 8 years ago, I was off work then for 4 months. Took Seroxat and got better. When I went back to work I didn't care what people thought as I was just so happy to be well again.
kazbat
MVP
MVP


Joined: 11 Jan 2005
Posts: 2578
Location: newcastle upon tyne

Post Sun Feb 04, 2007 1:12 am

   Reply with quote  

Hi AHIMSA

Welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear you are having a tough time right now but I am so glad you have found this forum.

Mental health problems have always had a bit of a stigma attached to them, especially in the work place and unless anyone has suffered from depression they can't possibly imagine what it is like. Perhaps your boss was not so much judging you but misunderstanding you.

I was on the sick from work with depression for just over three months a few years ago. I felt guily and to be honest, a bit of a fraud. I used to beat myself up for being so useless but in hindsight it was the best thing for me at the time.

You have been diagnosed with depression and that is nothing to be ashamed of. It is a genuine and debilitating illness but with the right treatment and a little time you will soon be back to your old self. The most important thing for you right now is rest. Try not to worry about work. They will cope quite nicely without you for a while so just you concentrate on taking care of yourself. If the thought of going to work is still frightening then it is perhaps not a good idea to be thinking of going back.

Could you tell us if you have been prescribed any medication or are you having counselling sessions? Both of these could help you tremendously.

kazbat
AHIMSA
New Member


Joined: 03 Feb 2007
Posts: 15
Location: uk

Post Sun Feb 04, 2007 11:42 am

   Reply with quote  

Hi, thank you all for replying so much and so quickly. I feel guilty about missing work and feel like a fool when i have to ask my GP for a sick note. She only writes one month sick note at a time and everytime i ask her i feel as though she is saying 'why don't u just hurry up and get better'. I know that everyone at work knows that i am suffering from depression and that makes it even harder to go back. i am on medication-citalopram 20mg, domperidone 10mg and codeine 30mg, 3x daily for severe migraines. I feel suicidal and have shut myself away from everyone -my family, friends-social and work friends and boyfriend.I want to leave work and start elsewhere but i am in a one year contract which i cannot leave. It makes me feel better that people who have replied have also taken time off work. I feel that no one understands me apart from people on this forum.So thank you for your replies-you all make life worth living,love you guys
AHIMSA
New Member


Joined: 03 Feb 2007
Posts: 15
Location: uk

Post Sun Feb 04, 2007 12:43 pm

   Reply with quote  

To all beautiful people waiting for a miracle,

Thank you so much for replying to my message-time off work for depression. Going through depression and having to study for an exam is only possible by staying at home-recovering and studying.The unfortunate thing is that people like my boss think that i have only taken time off to study,they don't understand how hard it is to study when you are depressed because of poor concentration,loosing the ability to relax and sleep,loss of self-esteem and self-confidence,constant fatigue and exhaustion,bad and intermittently functioning memory,forgetfulness,side effects of medication-drowsy/sleepy during day.I am currently on citalopram 20mg,domperidone 10mg and codeine 30mg,3x daily for severe migraines. I grew up with domestic violence at a very young age My problem is that i worry about what other people think too much-i don't know if that is just me or due to my depression.I have taken time off work for three months and i don't think i will be returning for another 3 months becos i need some me-time.I don't even want to return to my workplace because i'm scared of how others will judge me and also cos its so frightening. The unfortunate thing is that i am bound to a contract with the company to stay on one year post-qualifying.The thing is that i have been with the company now for two years and i just want a new start. With my depression i am so used to just shutting my old friends out of my life and running away and starting afresh.I won't be able to do that this time and thats whats so frightening. If i breach the contract i could end up payying alot of money-including locum fees.
My boss doesn't believe that i am depressed becos when i test my patients i give them so much love-i think i do this becos i want to be loved.Anyway he thinks i'm a good employee and wants me to return to work.He called me and said he was missing me so much.But at the same time he put undue pressure on me by saying that i was away during the busiet period and i had cost the company alot of money becos they had had to employ locums to cover me and they were paying me a third of what locums get.This put alot of pressure on me and i had yet again two restless nights in a row.The other thing that happened was i foolishly said i was not going to return until i had done my exam in 2 months becos i need to sort my head out and the Gp has only written me a sick note for one month so he got suspicious and thinks i'm making it up/. I would just prefer it if he just sacked me.Why doesn't he?
Thank u.
Ahimsa
sunseeker
Full Member


Joined: 23 Jan 2007
Posts: 165

Post Sun Feb 04, 2007 12:50 pm

   Reply with quote  

Have you considered asking your boss how he would feel if you broke the contract. i mean, he might not penalise you.
AHIMSA
New Member


Joined: 03 Feb 2007
Posts: 15
Location: uk

Post Sun Feb 04, 2007 12:52 pm

   Reply with quote  

NO I haven't considered this but i'm scared he'll get angry with me.
sunseeker
Full Member


Joined: 23 Jan 2007
Posts: 165

Post Mon Feb 05, 2007 12:29 am

   Reply with quote  

you can prepare for someone's anger but i find what usually happens in a situation like this is that they act exactly the opposite of the way you'd expect them to.

all you can do is to be prepared for anything. just be honest, its probably the best policy in this situation. the sooner you can move on, the sooner you will be feeling better i expect.

the longer you resist coming back to work the more you are building up resentment in the mind of your boss and the greater the pressure on you will become. but you can't control how he behaves or what he feels. that's his responsibility.

you need to decide what the right thing to do and try to find the best way to go about achieving it. i can tell you with absolute certainty, that acting honestly will result in a lot less emotional pain for you.

if your boss refuses to release you from your contract wihtout penalty, you might need to consider staying there. why don't you take a negotiating attitude towrads the discussion to see what other options you might have.

and/or perhaps you can do a bit of feeling out of the possibilitites of the situation. try and get some insight into what options you might have by talking to human resources departments or asking on other forums.

try posing your situation on this forum thorntree.lonelyplanet.com - go to the women's branch. don't tell them about all the emotional angst you have described here as this will get you some tough answers that won't help you. they can be a bit testy over there at times, especially with a newbie so try to phrase your question carefully. but do it because you have a wide variety of professional women on that forum who between them have a lot of knowledge of the way things work in the world.

warning: don't get addicted to that forum though. like i did. i never go there now.

just ask if anyone knows anything about breaking contracts. don't forget things are done differently in your country than for others so say which country you are in. the industry you work in might also have some peculiarities.

anyway, seek advice about the specifics of the situation and how to handle it from others who know the field.

i don't think you are doing anyone any favours by the way you are handling it now.
tomorrow
Full Member


Joined: 26 Nov 2004
Posts: 205
Location: Ontario

Post Mon Feb 05, 2007 4:37 am

   Reply with quote  

Although it is nice to know your boss is anxious for you to come back to work (You must be very good at your job!), but he definitely shouldn't be pressuring you. I can understand you are embarrassed to head back to work because every one knows you are depressed, but don't be! I'm sure they will understand as depression has become very common. I've been off school so far for 10 months and should not go back until september (doctors orders). I am a nervous about heading back and seeing all my school mates again. It's the confrontation i'm most afraid of. I'm a little bit afraid of their reaction when they hear why i've been gone, when I know I shouldn't. A few years back, a girl from my high school was gone for awhile after she downed some paint thinner, but when she came back, no one treated her 'special'. To them, she was the same girl they knew before who had just happened to come across a 'bump' in the road. We shouldn't be scared to face our peers again. Well, I don't know where I'm going with this (I just had a brain-fart!) so I guess I'll just have to end it with good luck! lol! I hope you do get better soon. Maybe try working for an hour or two on and off. I'm sure the interactions with other people will make you feel a little bit better! Please don't isolate yourself as that tends to make things worse!! Oh, and good luck again Wink
AHIMSA
New Member


Joined: 03 Feb 2007
Posts: 15
Location: uk

Post Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:11 am

   Reply with quote  

Thank you for all your replies. Its nice to know that other people feel the same and that depression can affect anyone. Sunseeker, u sound so strong,did u take time off from work?Tommorrow how do you spend ur time at home?
  

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