Women Ignore Me!

Postby Ed_the_Red » Sun May 06, 2007 1:22 am

I'm a reasonably good looking guy. I'm told I'm handsome by friends yet women almost never make eye contact. I'm not an attention seeker, generally but some eye contact would be good.

I asked a female friend why this is and she says "well, you're intelligent and maybe they just don't want that"!

Can anyone relate?!

I'm not a starer, by the way!

Why are women so cold?
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#1

Postby Syren » Sun May 06, 2007 2:03 pm

Just because you don't see women look at you does not necessarily mean that they are cold.

Perhaps they look at you when you are not looking at them back; otherwise, just be calm and patient. Why do you desire eye contact so much? Do you have a partner, or are you looking for a partner?
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#2

Postby Anyalee » Sun May 06, 2007 3:13 pm

Well, from one woman's point of view, I might suspect that you're lacking in self-confidence. I've not gathered this info from what you've said but I used to be invisible myself and now I can say that I daren't get involved with anymore men who are too lacking in self-confidence because they tend to become clingy and be needy (not implying you are, but I get this impression from the guys I know that say what you're saying). The women I know are drawn to mens' self-assured personalities despite their other flaws, bless them.
Does that help at all? This is a bit of a guess as none of us can really know each other without being in the presence of a person.
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#3

Postby Hed Kandi » Sun May 06, 2007 4:08 pm

Hi Ed,

Just to add to the comments already made, i think you ought to just be yourself and don't allow this to consciously rule your mind because i think if you continue to allow this to fester it could inadvertently affect your confidence and self esteem which probably isn't the issue in the first place (unless you tell us otherwise). I think maybe you have just been unlucky and my advice is to keep doing what you do and i am sure you will be noticed soon enough.

Take Care
Danny
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#4

Postby thefool » Sun May 06, 2007 4:18 pm

Most of the time they are looking when you're not looking. It takes a lot of confidence to look a stranger of the opposite sex dead in the eye. Since it pretty much leaves you exposed. Obviously you are interested, and many people view this interest as a powerless position. That however is a common misconception.

Furthermore is a ton of common tactics women use to get your attention, if you aren't awae of them then the odds that you miss the clue are pretty high. There is also that factor that if you don't have the right kind of attitude, the right kind of confident manner, you are much more likely to miss the clues, since you are to eager to dismiss them in your mind.

Simple example... I've often noticed that it's a seemingly popular tactic to pass by and all accidental like 'drop' something right in front of you. I noticed this quite a few times. I once busted a girl on it, she denied it... then two later i asked again and she confessed that was a scheme to get my attention... interesting really :lol:

There is also the matter that for a confident person, it's very easy to tell if another person isn't confident with him/herself. It's kind of like the seeing observing the blind more or less. you may not notice it of yourself but you are sending nervous/anxious vibes.

The way to draw eye contact is actually very simple. It's more difficult in crowded places of course, after all, why would someone from across he room be making an effort to look in your direction, unless you've made a conscious effort to draw attention. However, it's a basic human characteristic to want to be aware of their surroundings, and that means observing other people in their surrounding. The best way to make eye contact is to look in your own surrounding... so if it's crowded place you'e best off taking a tour of the building. You may not be aware of this, but people are almost always aware of your presence, when you walk by, they noticed you. However this process is so subtle that even the people noticing you may not be fully aware that they did. But you can change that if you wish. If you're walking by an attractive woman, just let your eyes do the talking, look her dead in the eye and when she looks back, keep looking. Some will dodge away, other will smile and say hello, either way they got an impression of you, they are aware of you, and it's a good way to invie yourself for a conversation.

It works on guys two, although i don't really recommend it. Some guys tend to view eye contact as a challenge and they may feel the need to step up to the plate :lol:. Even so, most of the men i've pulled this on (i like to experiment) have simply given me a friendly nod... One guy not so long ago even laughed after staring back hard for a while, and came over and said something along the lines of "nice, you got balls, i don't notice that in guys a lot"... Was kinda funny really.

I'd recommend that you keep your eyes level, don't be temped to wander to more 'interesting' areas, unless you want to lay the sexual inuendo on inches thick from the get go. If so you might aswell take your times doing it. It isn't always received well though. Some women think it's funny in an outragious sense, others think it's attractive, and others just think it's offensive. So yeah, use at your own peril.
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#5

Postby Ed_the_Red » Sun May 06, 2007 9:00 pm

Thanks to everyone who replied. I feel a bit better now. What you all said makes sense.

A little background. I'm 36. I do lack self-confidence with women but not generally and I'm quite the opposite of clingy!

This all ties in with what I believe about "vibes"; that they do exist and we're giving them out by virtue of what we're thinking. I just need to change my thoughts, I guess!

:)
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#6

Postby thefool » Sun May 06, 2007 10:17 pm

The 'virtue' of what you're thinking doesn't require you to have a woman. The last time i had virtuous thoughts around a woman she became a new friend... :lol:
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#7

Postby good spirit » Mon May 07, 2007 6:33 am

Hi Ed, I agree with you about vibes. I believe in the concept that "thoughts are things"(actual energy that goes out and does have an effect). What I would say is don't put so much pressure on yourself to make eye contact with women and all this. Just casually get to be friends with someone first, this way you get a much better idea if you and her will be compatible. I'm basically your same age, will be 36 in a week. And I just want someone who has my same morals and values in life, and who I really can be good friends with as well. So I would recommend for you to do the same. Just take things slow, really get to know someone as friends first. Takes a lot of the pressure off yourself. :)
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#8

Postby Ed_the_Red » Tue May 08, 2007 10:39 pm

good spirit wrote:Hi Ed, I agree with you about vibes. I believe in the concept that "thoughts are things"(actual energy that goes out and does have an effect). What I would say is don't put so much pressure on yourself to make eye contact with women and all this. Just casually get to be friends with someone first, this way you get a much better idea if you and her will be compatible. I'm basically your same age, will be 36 in a week. And I just want someone who has my same morals and values in life, and who I really can be good friends with as well. So I would recommend for you to do the same. Just take things slow, really get to know someone as friends first. Takes a lot of the pressure off yourself. :)


Hi Good Spirit.
Thank you for that. Those are wise words.

Kind regards, Ed. :)
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#9

Postby Ed_the_Red » Tue May 08, 2007 10:46 pm

Anyalee wrote:Well, from one woman's point of view, I might suspect that you're lacking in self-confidence. I've not gathered this info from what you've said but I used to be invisible myself and now I can say that I daren't get involved with anymore men who are too lacking in self-confidence because they tend to become clingy and be needy (not implying you are, but I get this impression from the guys I know that say what you're saying). The women I know are drawn to mens' self-assured personalities despite their other flaws, bless them.
Does that help at all? This is a bit of a guess as none of us can really know each other without being in the presence of a person.


Thanks. It does. Am interested to know how you went from invisibility to visibility.
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#10

Postby Mortimer » Wed May 09, 2007 3:16 am

I can relate to this situation as well, most women don't notice me either, I have tried talking to them, but from there on I have no idea what to do.
I notice guys around me who can talk to women, and I have to admit, I get angry and then I get depressed thinking, "what the hell is wrong with me".

This may sound stupid to some people but I just feel really depressed when they ignore me. Most of the time when I do get depressed, they only way I can seem to block it out is to do physical exercise. Before, I found that i relaxed me, But now that doesn't seem to be working anymore, now I find that the only reason why I am training is out of anger. While i'm angry I find i do very stupid things, and I tned to over train. Recently I injured my right hand while I was hitting a punching bag.

Is there something wrong with me, I mean, I see other people around me and they seem quite normal. Sometimes I think I'm goind crazy.
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#11

Postby good spirit » Wed May 09, 2007 5:16 am

Ed_the_Red wrote:Hi Good Spirit.
Thank you for that. Those are wise words.

Kind regards, Ed. :)


You're welcome Ed, I'm really glad that what I wrote there makes sense to you and you agree with it.
Last edited by good spirit on Wed May 09, 2007 8:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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#12

Postby thefool » Wed May 09, 2007 6:21 pm

Mortimer wrote:I can relate to this situation as well, most women don't notice me either, I have tried talking to them, but from there on I have no idea what to do.


A good start might be to not be angry and depressed? If i'd ask you what you would want in a woman, would that include angry and depressed? Guess not...
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#13

Postby Ed_the_Red » Wed May 09, 2007 11:40 pm

thefool wrote:
Mortimer wrote:I can relate to this situation as well, most women don't notice me either, I have tried talking to them, but from there on I have no idea what to do.


A good start might be to not be angry and depressed? If i'd ask you what you would want in a woman, would that include angry and depressed? Guess not...



I think it goes back to vibes again and our dominant thoughts.
I'm feeling very neutral at the moment and hey presto, I get some appreciative glances. :) Maybe that's what Mortimer and others (including myself) should do more often. I think women like men who don't worry too much.
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#14

Postby AviationSensation » Thu May 10, 2007 3:02 am

women are retarded, its obvious your friend who gave you that comment is misleading you intentionally.
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