What is wrong with me. Why cant i stop it.

Postby Andy Pandy » Sat Jul 21, 2007 12:29 am

Hello, in the last few years i have really started to suffer with anxiety and panic attacks and am looking for some advice. The first panic attack i ever had that i can remember was making a presentation in front of my peers at school, middle teens. The things i hate about it is that everyones focused on me and i constantly feel that people are judging me. My heart races, i get sweaty hands, i don't think i show it much but inside me my heart is pounding.

The thing is i realize that my panic attacks are totally irrational after and i think im a stupid moron but at the time its really hard to deal with. Just thinking about having a panic attack makes me want to cry.

Because of my panic attacks i try to avoid certain situations and im always on edge. Here are some examples of panic attacks i have had:

- Answering the phone and not knowing who's calling me
- I just purchased my first house and my parents helped me through it all. Things such as phoning up estate agents, utility companies, solicitors etc scare the **** out of me. I generally really hate using the phone because i cant see peoples faces.
- I hate it when people ask me personal questions, like what i do for a living, and other stuff. Sometimes triggers small panic attack. Especially since my career isnt simple to explain, very technical. BTW i am self employed and lack of social interaction probably makes it worse.
- I have the constant fear of being judged, and if i think i am i will find a way to remove myself from a situation
- When i am at the gym and people look at me / stare at me i sometimes get a mild panic attack. I have trouble making eye contact with strangers.
- I try to do all my business dealings online. I am afraid of making arrangements via phone to better my business.

I really feel like all this crap is prohibiting me from living a good life. I am a young successful man who should be in the prime of his life. But i have all this stuff just stopping me in my tracks. I wish i didn't think so much and over analyze situations. Its come to the point where i feel crippled and want to do something about it.

What can i do?
Andy Pandy
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Postby Andy Pandy » Sat Jul 21, 2007 12:35 am

i am also a bit of a loner now, i have quite a few friends but when i go out with them after a few hours something ends up bothering me and i remove myself from the situation early. Explaining all this seems hard and im not sure if it all makes sense (to me or you) but i really need to do something about this.

I think anxiety for a certain situation gets worse if i have never done it before / dont do it often. Also, over thinking things makes me anxious. I really wish i could "just do it" and turn my brain of and tell it to stop being a stupid irrational idiot but its not that easy.

I really feel like a retard and theres something wrong with me. What can i do to make it all go away?

edit: also think anxiety has increased since i started smoking weed regularly for maybe a year (a year ago) but have completly stopped for 6months. i feel slightly better now. But im sure it was making me more paranoid and at times i thought i had demon voices (like once or twice - where i would have a conversation with two versions of myself) i am so screwed in the head ol.
Andy Pandy
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Postby soundwave » Sat Jul 21, 2007 2:50 am

k definetly no weed, it only worsens anxiety! being stoned is not worth the long term anxiety especially if yr prone to anxiety

sounds like what ive also been through. general symptoms as well as uncontrollable worry.

from what ive learned so far, get a good diet and meditation.

i am also on flouxidine(prosac), gettin on waiting list for therapy and seeing a nutritionist in the mean time. got a strong feeling nutrition is overlooked and most disorders can be sorted nutritionally alone.
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Postby lifesabtch! » Sat Jul 21, 2007 3:02 am

I understand what you're saying perfectly.
Same thing its been happening to me all my life, I am 26 now and always been struggling to overcome it by exposing myself to situations like going out with a friend of mine and 6 others I didn't know, and after many years I could start talking to people and became quite sociable.
I don't think what you have are actual panic attacks though.
I used to get very nervous when I had to introduce myself in front of the hole class, my heart was beating fast and very hard, but I never felt what I felt three years ago for the first time. It is a complete different feeling. Despite most people would call the racing heart and the fear of what people are gonna think about you a panic attack, it is not. A panic attack is something a lot more debilitating, confusing and scary than that, in fact it is a false heart attack, or a false dying experience.
But yeah, I think you shoudn't worry, be happy and don't think about stuff, if there is something you want to do, do it but always make sure you have at least a very close friend you can share feelings, good luck!
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