Skepticg18 wrote:I am clingy and scared to show people how weak I can be.
You seem very strong to me, in that you are dealing with your issues as well as you can on your own. This requires a great deal of strength of character, and a high level of individuality (and stubbornness!!).
Skepticg18 wrote:I suffer from anxiety, and employers can sense this even when I try to hide my nervousness.
Try not to worry too much about this. Everyone suffers from anxiety, especially with bosses! Bosses know that employees suffer from anxiety 'when the boss is around'.
Perhaps this is why you want to teach abroad, as it is less easy to be judged in these terms when in a different culture (as there will be far more outstanding things about you (i.e. you are not Chinese!! Some villages in China have never seen a non-native before)).
Have you completed a TEFL course? You should try it and see if you like it.
If you go abroad, you will, for sure, get noticed. This can be a positive and a negative. If you do go, just make sure that people get to know 'you', as well as what you represent (i.e. Western culture).
There will be a high level of curiosity from people regarding yourself, which will be very encouraging for the first few months. But - and do take note of this - the interest will wear off when you become 'routine' to people. This can have a very isolating effect on you, as you will now be viewed as 'part of the routine' in a place where you truly don't know anyone well, or have anyone close to turn to.
If teaching abroad interests you, then by all means go for it - but make sure you are doing it because you want to teach English abroad. This should be the primary motivating factor.
Many people go abroad every year to teach English, and absolutely love it. Just make sure you are aware of the potential negatives, as well as the positives.
However, the positives could be life-changing - you could see the world in a whole new light, and re-prioritise what is important in life.
What does travelling represent to you? Is it freedom from what you know (i.e. daily life), or freedom from the situation you see yourself in just now?
Sometimes the most difficult thing can be making a decision. But not making a decision is also a choice. It is choosing to keep things as they are.
There is comfort in a routine, in knowing that certain things can be relied upon, but there is also familiarity, which can lead to a great sense of ennui.
Start small - change little things e.g. try going for a walk, listen to a completely new style of music, study a subject you would not consider studying etc etc
Changing even one thing can shed a new light on everything.