I hate myself and I want to die.

Postby Humanoid26 » Tue Oct 23, 2007 1:48 am

I loathe myself. I'm no one. I'm nothing. And what's worse, I'm a awful horrible person. I wish I could kill myself. I'm not brave enough to even kill myself. I want an asteroid to hit this planet, so I can die without saying I died at the hands of myself. Something to change this shitty life that I'm trapped in. Death would be change. My soul would finally be free.
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#1

Postby Humanoid26 » Tue Oct 23, 2007 2:01 am

I'm not cut out for this world. I think too much, therefore I'm doomed to be miserable day after day.
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#2

Postby TheDarkJay » Tue Oct 23, 2007 2:06 am

Time, what greater illusion exists? A simple line is all it begins with, then a few more lead off it, each with their own line. Each of them lines creates more lines, and more lines, forming the most complicated network ever observed. But, in the end, aren't we still just living along the same old lines?


Thinking can be solved with a little friend called Alcohol.

In all seriousness, thinking too much is a bad thing? Why not do something like write, get out your hatred to the world in that? Or read?, may I suggest anything by H.P Lovecraft? A wonderful, depressive (super-natural horror) writer who really knocks humans down a few pegs in his stories :P

Hell, if you are willing to try hard enough, become a political speaker, try to do some good in the system you view as so wrong.
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#3

Postby Humanoid26 » Tue Oct 23, 2007 2:10 am

I'm a writer. And I love to read. It's the only time I ever feel free. Even then, I'm still a prisoner in my own mind.


And Alcohol and drugs only ruin ones life. I'm even worse when I'm under the influence of chemical substances.
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#4

Postby Nai » Tue Oct 23, 2007 2:10 am

I think too much also, and this leads me to being unable to actually be able to tell myself i'm happy. Though I'm not as bad as you, i do not want to die, for i have people i need to live for.

I took myself off citalopram after a month, it helped me but since i took myself off them im back to how i was i think. I don't want to have to need them to get by.

Not sure what advice i could give you, the only person that can help you really is yourself. People try to help me and i tell them its pointless, i know my issues, i can tell myself those issues and it makes it no better. If i can't better it, no one else can. It's like im two people, one is the observer, the other being the complete idiot of life.

Look on the brightside, you can still do things people that are alive can do.. like converse in conversation and make yourself a cup of tea. Not all is bad. Expect the worse, hope for the best.
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#5

Postby TheDarkJay » Tue Oct 23, 2007 2:13 am

Humanoid26 wrote:And Alcohol and drugs only ruin ones life. I'm even worse when I'm under the influence of chemical substances.


Sarcasm doesn't get across well over the internet :oops:

You know, it's weird, what most people find depressing I find comforting. I find comfort in the idea I am useless in the big picture, I find comfort in the idea of 'no life after death'.
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#6

Postby Humanoid26 » Tue Oct 23, 2007 2:21 am

I didn't say anything about life after death.

I'm an atheist, and I have a strong aversion to any organized religion. Sorry, that I didn't pick up on your sarcasm. I wasn't really looking for it.
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#7

Postby Humanoid26 » Tue Oct 23, 2007 3:06 am

I was just venting anyways. Just wishing that I was brave enough to end my life.
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#8

Postby Annie7788 » Tue Oct 23, 2007 5:49 am

Humanoid26 wrote:I loathe myself. I'm no one. I'm nothing. And what's worse, I'm a awful horrible person. I wish I could kill myself. I'm not brave enough to even kill myself. I want an asteroid to hit this planet, so I can die without saying I died at the hands of myself. Something to change this shitty life that I'm trapped in. Death would be change. My soul would finally be free.


It is interesting that you are an atheist yet you believe your soul would be free if you died. How does that work?

You are free to change your life now. Why do you think you are trapped?
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#9

Postby Humanoid26 » Tue Oct 23, 2007 1:23 pm

How so? Just because I believe that I have a soul, doesn't mean that I believe in heaven or hell. Also, how did my religious beliefs get dragged into this?? Is this a forum for depression or a forum for religious nutjobs? Stick to the topic, please.
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#10

Postby georgia79 » Tue Oct 23, 2007 2:17 pm

Have you been on any meds? Done any therapy? I'm just trying to understand what stage you are at here. I'm severely depressed and also think, or rather feel, too much. One thing I know for sure - you can't think your way out of depression unfortunately. We've all tried but it doesn't get us anywhere. Take care, you can get better from this.
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#11

Postby Annie7788 » Tue Oct 23, 2007 5:51 pm

Humanoid26 wrote:How so? Just because I believe that I have a soul, doesn't mean that I believe in heaven or hell. Also, how did my religious beliefs get dragged into this?? Is this a forum for depression or a forum for religious nutjobs? Stick to the topic, please.


Not off topic. You brought up your beliefs and it is interesting that you stated them so clearly when you did not have to and the contradiction I've mentioned. It is interesting from the point of view of your problems.

Also interesting is your reaction above, particularly as I have not mentioned religion at all. Merely put together two of your observations.

So why do you feel trapped?
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#12

Postby otingocni » Tue Oct 23, 2007 11:05 pm

Humanoid26 wrote:I didn't say anything about life after death.

I'm an atheist, and I have a strong aversion to any organized religion. Sorry, that I didn't pick up on your sarcasm. I wasn't really looking for it.


With all the moaning and talk of being helpless, you really sound like more of a christian than an atheist.
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#13

Postby Annie7788 » Wed Oct 24, 2007 12:57 am

otingocni wrote:
With all the moaning and talk of being helpless, you really sound like more of a christian than an atheist.


Humanoid doesn't strike me as helpless or even that unhappy, just cynical and disillusioned.

Otingocni you sound as though you think there is a link between religious beliefs and psychological state...care to expand?
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#14

Postby otingocni » Wed Oct 24, 2007 3:12 am

Annie7788 wrote:
otingocni wrote:
With all the moaning and talk of being helpless, you really sound like more of a christian than an atheist.


Humanoid doesn't strike me as helpless or even that unhappy, just cynical and disillusioned.

Otingocni you sound as though you think there is a link between religious beliefs and psychological state...care to expand?


I was just going by what he/she posted in this and the other thread. Almost sounds like an angsty, loose cannon version of me..

I think I remember reading about a study that showed religious folk were on average happier than their atheist counterparts, which is what I would expect, if only because they are the majority. If atheists were the majority and didn't have to face any sort of persecution, they'd(we'd..) probably be the happier lot. I really don't think the actual beliefs have too much to do with one's happiness.. At least in my case it doesn't(though being told I'm going to burn in hell gets annoying after a while). IE I don't think I'd be any happier or sadder if I believed in some religion. I'm not sure how others feel on that.
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