help!! my boss has suddenly become rude and condescending

Postby snickerus » Mon Nov 05, 2007 8:03 pm

hi all,

i joined this group hoping to get some advice on a strange situation. i work from home (only 1 of 3 people who work from home) for an international software company with 100+ employees. the woman who heads up my team is GMT+2 and more the half the team (total of 10 people in my dept.) are EST here in the US. this means that in the past, she had usually been working from 7am EST until 6pm EST. she's the one who does most of the training for our team (online) and has been with the company the longest, is an expert on the issues my department handles. with new employees coming on in different timezones, she is, for the first time, working normal hours of 9am-5pm HER TIME. she also used to work weekends. this is relevant....

i was the 3rd member to join the dept. so i have been on with the group for a while and received training from her. she has always been acceptably patient in explaining new ideas or jobs and training. however, since her hours have changed, she has suddenly become unprofessionally rude and extremely short-tempered and condescending.

now, my boyfriend is not a workaholic, he doesn't work long hours by choice ever (and when he does, he grumbles). but when he got a new (much lower-stress) job, he became extremely irritable at home. he said that he felt like he must be forgetting something and because he wasn't stressed at work, he had no outlet for any of his stress and brought it home with him.

so basically, i'm wondering if this could be my boss's situation. she also doesn't seem to like getting up early either. and while that's all well and good (the hypothetical explanation), it doesn't help my situation.

i don't know what to do about this. i feel like it would be out-of-bounds to suggest that this is the problem to her. i wonder if she is even aware of the way she's been acting. i don't want to go over her head to her boss about her behavior, but i don't know how to talk to her about it without crossing any boundaries. she is really making me feel bad, whenever i ask her a question, she talks to me (over IM) like i'm a retarded monkey.

i told some (non-work) friends about some things she said and they agreed that they were completely unnecessary, unprofessional, "SO MEAN", and unforgivably rude. several people suggested i talk to her boss, but i'd really like to avoid this if possible. what do i do? how do i handle this? :cry:
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Postby Here I Am » Fri Nov 09, 2007 9:16 pm

It is appropriate for you to go to her boss. Does her boss seem like someone who you can talk to about this?
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Postby werty » Mon Dec 03, 2007 11:21 am


have you known this woman for long?

Can you start your next conversation with some general stuff, how are you ectc. You may be able to ask her if everything is ok.

i completely agree with her now doing the normal 9-5. It sounds ridiculus that she has been working all hours across different time zones.

it may be the case that she has children and working mostly uk afternoons and evenings, even so, a 11 hour day is much too long.

Are you able to have a chat with your colleagues and try and find out whats going on?

I'm sure there is a reason, most people dont just change personality overnight. Sit tight and see how things pan out.
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