Helping Someone Stop a Mucophagy Addiction

Postby EllaMCS » Tue Nov 13, 2007 4:15 pm

My husband has a disgusting addiction to eating things from his nose (he even does it in his sleep, but I do not know if that can be helped) and I would like to know what can be done to help him stop it because talking to him and letting him know how unhygienic it is (if you smell someone's faeces your bogies are formed by particles from those faeces which have been trapped in the hairs) and repeatedly telling him calmly how I feel about it has not worked even though he says he is trying his best to stop it.

I have already tried accepting it (I'm too embarrassed and ashamed to turn to friends and family), but I cannot deny that my response of revulsion towards him gets stronger and stronger every time I see him do it (or think he has probably gone ahead and done it elsewhere) and I do not want to eventually become repulsed by him whether he does it or not. I do not want to end up standing by helpless as my attraction to him dissolves and watch as our relationship is ruined.

Talking to him hasn't helped and I don't know what else to do. The only other things I can think of would most likely hurt his feelings and I do not want to do that. I would only turn to it as a last resort to stop my fears of loss of attraction and the end of a great relationship coming true. This is why I hope more than anything that someone is able to help!
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#1

Postby icecoldheat21 » Tue Nov 13, 2007 4:33 pm

:( I am so sorry to hear that! I don't know if I can be of much help but I hope so! I know you said talking doesn't help. I wanted to ask you if you tried telling him exactly what you've written? Have you said that it is a huge turn-off? Maybe request that he comes to a compromise with you! That being the way you feel about it, tell him you are not asking him to change his habbit but change where and when he does it! i.e.: not infront of you!!! Man, that's got to be hard! I know how if feels to be discusted at something your other half does! I'd be honest...in the nicest, most polite way possible. You need to understand that he likes that but in the same respect, he needs to understand how it makes you feel! Then action on both parts is required! Let me know how things go!!!! GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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#2

Postby EllaMCS » Tue Nov 13, 2007 5:18 pm

Thanks for the reply!

I have told him exactly what I've typed here (and more) and that it is a huge turn-off, but it did not change anything.

The thing is that even if he does not do it in front of me, knowing he still does it makes me feel ill and not want to kiss him and the sad thing is that I am losing trust in him regarding what he says about actually trying to stop.
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#3

Postby supermami » Tue Nov 13, 2007 6:53 pm

He should talk to a doctor about this. And if he won't then you should talk to one about what can be done. I'm not sure if that is an illness, but it sounds like a compulsion that he cannot help and maybe medication could help. What about hypnotherapy? Maybe he just doesn't care but I think if you have stressed that you are turned off by him will continue to be more and more turned off if he continues, he should listen!! A lesser woman would have already left by now - I don't know how you do it. Any habit or compulsion can be stopped but the person has to acknowlege the problem and want to stop it as a first step. It sounds like this is more than he can handle on his own.
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#4

Postby EllaMCS » Wed Nov 14, 2007 3:26 pm

Hi again and thanks for all your help.

I have spoken with him once more about it. He has a bad memory (always has and I often have to remember some things for him) and I asked him if he remembered what I said about how I feel when I see him do it. He told me he only remembered I did not like it and asked if there was more for me to remind him, which I did and told him about how each time my feelings grow stronger and that I am seriously afraid of becoming unattracted to him. He was very concerned (much more so than previous times) and upset. He told me he has been trying hard and brought up an issue with his nose. He has told me about this issue before, but never explained how it was connected to this problem.

His bone at the top of his nose is asymmetrical and I believe this is what causes the issue. One of his nostrils or both of them are always blocked (not with snot, but bogies). I have read about people who also eat from their nose having operations that stopped their noses from being blocked so much, but he does not want an operation (definitely couldn't afford it now anyway and I've read how painful it is recovering from such a surgery).

He told me how he used to carry around tissues all the time, but his nose was blocked so much that he always ran out. He was constantly buying tissues and running out of them. So he ended up eating it all instead because he didn't have to pay and he would never run out of a way to dispose of them... He never does it in front of anyone else, so I am guessing he also finds it gross himself, but feels like he has no other option and does it purely for convenience and from irritation of not being able to breathe properly. He has also done it for so long that it has become a habit.

I suggested a handkerchief, but he said he would feel like an old man. I also suggested vapours that clear your nose, but he has tried those with results only lasting mere seconds. He told me he would try using tissues again (you can buy millions of tissues for a very cheap price at a nearby mall). I also explained to him another thing (apart from hygiene) which makes me feel so repulsed by this. I knew a boy in primary school who also ate his bogies. He would make a big show of it, really digging around in his nose, sticking his tongue out and wiping the bogey onto his tongue so everyone could see. Next he would run around wiggling his tongue and the bogey in everybody's face... x_x My husband was also disgusted by the story. He thanked me for telling him though and asked me also to try and deal with my feelings towards this event in the past so we can meet halfway.

I have agreed to do so, but was wondering if anyone else knew of any solutions to his nose being blocked? If he can get rid of the blockage he will not have to put up with having to breathe through his mouth or eating the blockages.
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