Hey everyone. I'm a 15-year-old girl, a high school freshie, and ever since school started back in September I've been having a pretty big problem. (Actually, it was like this all through middle school too, but it wasn't as much of an incredibly annoying obstacle.)
I act differently around different people.
I'm sure everyone's experienced this to some point--around your boss you're like a model employee, around your best friend you loosen up, maybe around new people you act a little tense. But all those things can be explained (you want to make a good impression to your boss, your best friend knows you better than anyone, etc). But with me? Here's an idea:
When I'm alone with my best friend, I'm myself. Okay, that makes sense.
When I'm alone with close friend #1, I sound intelligent, collected and confident. I'm also a little aloof and prone to sarcasm. Though this doesn't exactly match my true personality, I don't feel like I'm acting.
When I'm alone with close friend #2, who I once saved from suicide, I try my best to sound collected and confident, to make her laugh, and I do. But I feel like I'm trying to hard, acting just a little, and at some points I can become clingy or annoying. Which is definitely not me. (I see no reason for this.)
With friend #1, I'm pretty much just a more boring version of myself. I can't think of anything to say, and I usually end up feeling like I'm acting. (I see no reason for this.)
With friend #2, I'm crazy, out-of-control, and ridiculously funny. Good, except that I also sound whiny and immature. Not me. With her, I feel awkward as hell inside my own skin. With friend #3, I feel confident and clever. Though this is good, I'm still... not myself. (I cannot think of an explanation for this.)
With person #1, I feel awkward and stupid, like a scared little girl, which is not me at all. With person #2, I sound arrogant and condescending, which is not me at all. (Once again...)
With groups of friends, I feel overly loud and annoying, like I'm trying too hard. I try to sound collected and calm, but instead I end up sounding and feeling hyper and all over the place. I feel fake. This is definitely the worst--it's during these times that I lose sight of who I am completely, even though the real me is still inside my head going, "why are you acting like this?!" My only other option is to focus completely on not sounding stupid and to shut down completely. (?????)
And here's the kicker--around guys I like, I act like myself. (Probably the most confusing of them all.)
What is wrong with me? I wouldn't even mind acting differently around people I don't know as well, if I could just stop having 35 personalities in one day. Is there anything I can do?