Hey buddy, thanks for posting on my thread, it made me feel good.
I see that you still improve, good !! As for myself... I smoked a joint last Sunday (doh!) but I promised myself to not do it ever again. At least I didn't get baked the whole night, just a part of it, but I still feel pretty ashamed of myself, angry and incredibly down. Your post made me feel better.
About those feeling of sadness, anger and loneliness I feel like I understand what you mean. It's like during all those years while you were smoking, you thought that weed made you feel better but instead, it just withdraw thoses feelings from you consciousness, it did not annihilate them. Now that you're sober, those mixed-up feelings comes back saying "Hello ! We were still there all this time, just waiting for you to come back so we can slap you right in the face". It's hard to deal with it, so I hope you'll get better. If I'm mistaking about your feelings, hell I'm sorry, you still have my compassion.
Still not able to do art again but I started lately to doodle on every piece of paper I find. I think I'm on my way back to make some great art. Can't wait to jump again on my wacom.
Lately I have this vision of my old self, it's like a Shiva with 8 hands who's holding a joint, a bong, a beer, a cigarette, a video game, a pencil and who's eating like crazy with her 2 hands, her eyes stitched and bleeding with a painful look on her face... it's weird, but at least I had this vision without the help of the grass. yay ! I'll try to paint it this week and post it on my thread. It's not the kind of thing I want to put in my portfolio anyway... I'm more in the concept art stuff usually.
Cheer from Quebec,