I just had a similar experience over the holidays.
My mother was helping me to get something out of her storage shed while I was staying at her house. It turned out the broom was stuck behind some old junk.
I could tell she was about to have an outburst when it wouldn't come loose and told her to step back. She flew into a fit on cue, and instead of cowering like I did when I was little, I actually took hold of her shoulder and firmly pushed her back out of the way.
"Don't touch me" she threatened, which is the same thing she's said for thirty years when she's having a freak out.
"What are you going to do? Are you going to hit me?" This is what she used to say to my first stepfather, who was abusive.
"I'm bigger than you and I can move you out of the way," I warned in a serious voice. "You are acting inappropriately and embarrassing yourself and me in front of your neighbors and I want you to move back."
Every time she continued to huff, I just told her "You are behaving inappropriately. Other people may give in to this but I am not putting up with it!"
She threw up her hands in a huff and went in with a disgusted "I don't need this" guilt trip at me for stopping her.
Of course it worked, and I apologized later, but I explained that she was behaving like a child so I was forced to become the adult in the situation and stated again that her behavior was inappropriate.
My childhood therapist used to tell me I bottle my emotions, and I think it may be a backlash against having a mother who has such explosive hair-trigger outbursts. But that night I was able to fly it right back at her and I realized for the first time that the things she was saying to me were from scripts she used to play out with other family members, ie. parents and husbands.
She fled when I called her on her behavior.
Could it be that your outbursts are triggered by past arguments you've had with your other family members or your husband?
I handled my own programming by learning not to react at all in surprising situations, which I realize as an adult probably isn't so great either, but I think now maybe it was because I was trying so hard not to use the trigger responses that old repeating arguments encourage us to fall back into.
If something someone does makes you feel similar to how you felt in an argument before, stop yourself and see if you can think of a different response from the first thing that comes to mind. Generally the first thing you say is about the other person, while the second thing you say is more about yourself and how you came to feel that way. Then the other person has a clue what it's really about and can maybe help.
Best of luck!