IamaLoser wrote:person i live with is throwing rages and getting hysterical at me...
European Girl just pointed me to your thread. It's a tough situation. Without a mediator (ie, somebody who can step in and put the other person right), then you're constantly on the defensive if it's not in your nature to play the blame game.
I suggest that the next time this person starts hurling abuse in your direction, kill it stone dead by asking, in as deadpan a tone of voice as you are able "why are you shouting at me?" If they won't answer the question, then the next time they pause for breath, ask the question again. And again, and again. If they do answer, then it will probably be to blame you, judging by what you've written. And it will probably be in the style of "you always..." Don't even bother arguing with that. Just reply "always?" and if this person confirms that you always do this thing (which is nigh on impossible), then there is nothing else to discuss. Just say "OK," and walk away. This does not mean that you are agreeing, it merely means that you are confirming that you have understood their perspective. If they answer "no, not always," then you've got movement, and you can start to have a rational conversation.