seroquel and cipralex

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Postby moulin » Sun Apr 20, 2008 7:29 pm

i saw my shrink for the first time last week, i have to go back once a week and see my nurse every other day, he prescribed cipralex and seroquel and i am still on trazodone, but he has increased my dose of seroquel already and i am beginning to get paranoid as to the reasons why, i thought i was on seroquel for anxiety but already i'm on 150mg and have read it is for psychosis???
PLus i still don't feel any different, nothing seems to help, i still feel in a fog, with many many unshakable bad habits, plus i keep seeing a little boy in the bathroom, i am unable to speak to my shrink, i am unable to speak much at all, ao otheres speak for me but no one knows about the magic eight ball in my head, ther one that will only answer yees or no to questions i pose to it. I know i suffer depression/anxiety, its taken a while to accept help, now i have i really don't think there is any answers at all.
moulin
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Postby tom4 » Sun Apr 20, 2008 9:19 pm

Hi moulin,

Yep, seroquel is an antipsychotic. It's primarily a dopamine blocker but does affect serotonin transmission as well. Often used for bi-polar depression too.

I would imagine the cipralex is for the depression, it is also commonly prescribed for anxiety, panic attacks and ocd's.

The trazodone is also an antidepressant and also used for anxiety. I guess I'd ask your doc. why are you on this and cipralex.
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Postby moulin » Tue Apr 22, 2008 10:52 pm

thanks tom for replying, i don't know whether i'm on trazodone by mistake still, i will ask next week when i see them, i really struggle to make eye contact still, i can with certain people but not others, i don't want a label but i would like someone to help me understand what is going on inside my head, i'm not sure if i have created an illusion of madness to covet myself behind or if i am really a bit bonkers, should i ask people things in my head? should i see people in the corner of my eye, am i trying to make myself mad, i don't know. I don't know what is real and what i have invented anymore, i just don't know.
moulin
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Postby tom4 » Wed Apr 23, 2008 12:27 am

Hi moulin,

It sounds like there's a lot happening for you and it's a worrying and scary time. I hope you get the help you need.

If it's difficult to talk to the shrink do you have anyone who could go with you who could ask questions and get information for you? If not it may be helpful to write questions down before you go, you wouldn't have to ask them at the time you could just give him the list. If poss you could pass some questions to him beforehand via the nurse. He should be happy to answer them.

I hear that you don't want labels just someone to take a bit of time to tell you some of the possibilities of what may be happening and what can be done about it.

I do believe in the old adage moulin, if you think you're bonkers you probably ain't!

In other posts you have made I kinda think I've heard a caring person, I hope you get some of that care in return.
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Postby moulin » Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:08 pm

Hi Tom
I read your post and it made feel good, thanks for that.
I don't think the person in the bathroom is a little boy anymore, when i was little i had a dark paige boy cut and used to wear jeans and a shirt, i think that little boy was me, i think i'm remembering stuff, i think i'm seeing myself in the bathroom. I don't want to remember, if i do i certainly will cut off the people i care about, do you understand?
I can't take anyone into see the shrink with me, because i don't want them to know, its like the past is in the corner of my eye, and its so hard not too look, i'm scared i won't come back.
I find it so much easier to write rather than to talk, maybe i should show the nurse these posts, what do you think? I don't want to bore people, but maybe she could help me without other people knowing.
If my madness is imagined, it is still harder to claw back my sanity, i have lost myself in a web, but i am the spider, i am the bad.
moulin
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Postby tom4 » Fri Apr 25, 2008 8:57 pm

Hi moulin,

I guess from what you wrote that there is possibly something that feels dangerous or threatening in the past and that if you do remember it will spill into the present and affect relationships [?]

I may be well off but I feel that talking could be more threatening than writing because writing is more considered and hence more controlled whereas talk can lead to unexpected places we may not wish to go to. It's easier to delete a written word that take a spoken one back.

Again just a thought but sometimes it can be easier to accept 'the bad' into self rather than place it into another particularly if that is a significant other, the consequences can be huge. An example, but not one i am suggesting is relevant to you, is that young children often engage in dichotomous or 'black and white' thinking, something is all good or all bad and this can be applied to parents. If then a parent is all good then any 'bad' cannot be ascribed to them and must go somewhere else, unfortunately this is usually taken inward...they cannot be bad so I must be.

I think showing these posts to the nurse is a really good idea. I would imagine she will suggest showing them to the shrink and I'm not sure from your post how you feel about that.

'bore people' I can't speak for the nurse or the shrink obviously but I can for me...you ain't boring me moulin.

Tom
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Postby moulin » Sun Apr 27, 2008 6:01 pm

Hi again,
You gave me a lot to think about in your last reply, its strange, i've never been in a position where i have been made to think ouside of the world i have created for myself, i have given advice and been given advice, but nothing that makes me think outside of myself.
I always assumed or pushed i supposed that my lack of verbal communication was due to my inability to socialise with others, but you are right i feel safer writing because i am in control, i can show people what i want and i can edit my text at anytime. I suppose i do need to feel control, i was anorexic when i was much younger and suffered with OCD. Thats all about control i suppose, but i don't understand why i still feel so out of control, if everything i do is about control.
I won't kid you tom, my answers are undefined, i'm not ready to see things that i know i have to if i want to move on, i can't accept that anyone other than me is bad. If i had the choice i would love to draw a line under everything, i feel confused, i lack clarity, i feel the need to punish myself over and over but i can't tell you why, i feel maybe the memories i have blocked are of me doing something really bad, that i am not willing to acknowledge myself. If i have no one to trust then who am i?
I'm stuck, i am always stuck and i have to find a way out, i have to, otherwise my life is static and untolerable. I have spoken more candidly to you than to any other person, i suppose you're safe too. I appreciate your time and thoughts but i understand if you feel you shouldn't reply.
moulin
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Postby moulin » Sun May 04, 2008 10:06 pm

hi,
I was diagnosed on thursday with emotionally unstable personality disorder, yet i lack the aggression and impulsivity that normally run concurrently along with this condition. I guess that means they don't know whats wrong with me. OH yes and i have some psychosis associated with this. They were going to refer me back to GP for psychotherapy but unfortunately have decidsed to keep me with their team psychotherapist and keep me with MHT for longer than they thought? How should i interpret that? Say if my supposed psychosis is comforting and harmless should i lay off the seroquel? I don't feel tires with seroquel, just lack clarity and confort.
AND also, if i have a personality disorder and drugs and psychotherapy will never cure me, just ease my symptoms, then there are and never will be any answers for me, i am alone, no matter how m,any there are of us we are all alone, i have so much hate inside of me
moulin
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