I don't want to work.. mental disorder or laziness?

Postby h8myself » Tue May 06, 2008 10:14 pm

I probably hold the guinness book of world records title for the most jobs ever had by one person. I'm 28 years old and I think I've had over 50 jobs in my life. I cannot remember them all to make a list. Most of them don't last but a few days or weeks. My longest job working consecutively was about 1 year. I have in the past suffered from depression, anxiety, low self esteem, no confidence, self-loathing, delusions. I'm a lot better than I used to be, but I still have mild depression and low self confidence and self esteem. I just landed the best paying job I have ever had. It had amazing benefits and great pay. I was so excited and actually proud of myself for once. I felt like a respectable member of society. But after one day of working there I decided that it was too hard for me to learn, I was scared of screwing up and being humiliated, and that I didn't really like the work itself. So I wonder why I had even applied for it in the first place. The obvious answer being money so I can support myself. But I guess because I still live with my parents and I have very few financial responsibilities that I didn't really want to work. I know that everyone has to work. I just can't make myself do it. I feel like I don't even care about money. I know if my parents kicked me out on the street I would feel differently. I just want a job that has low stress and little responsibility. But I've had jobs of that kind and I quit them also. I'm so confused. Is my problem stemming from a mental disorder or am I just plain lazy?
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#1

Postby minzhu » Wed May 07, 2008 8:16 am

Hi! It sounds to me like you just haven't found a job you enjoy. Have you taken any aptitude tests?

Or better yet... what do you enjoy doing? What would be the ideal job no matter what the pay is?

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#2

Postby kazanmolly » Mon May 19, 2008 4:29 am

I know what your going through...i feel the same way about work. If it wasnt for the fact that i need money, i would never set foot in the workforce again. I hate it with a passion. I hate how i feel when i walk through the door...utter fear and loathing.
I know with me its not lazinees, its just anxiety does not allow me to have any confidence in my abilities. I'm constantly afraid of messing up and being humiliated. I'm also a slow leaner which is a huge issue for employers. Nobody wants to explain things over and over again. My self esteem is shot to pieces and the more i have to work the worse it gets. I have no problem working hard or getting my hands dirty. If I was able to run my own business i would probably thrive at it because i have a lot of motivation and pride in my work. Its just working with other people i have a problems with...i just get too nervous and cant perform. Another stressor for me is the constant pressure of deadlines at work. I'm a housekeeper in a hotel and we have strict times to get the rooms cleaned that must be stuck to. Its very stressful for me, and i have been sacked before for being to slow so i also have that worry hanging over my head.
All I really want to do is be a housewife, but its not really socially acceptable anymore is it? Especially when you dont have any children.

I too feel like i just want a low stress, low responsibility job, but i dont think their are any out there for me.
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#3

Postby Improvements » Mon May 19, 2008 8:55 pm

You might not be mentally ill or lazy, but being in the wrong job, can do harm for your mental health and motivation.
I am 41 but had loads of jobs. I was retired on medical ground in the end, due to psychological stress.
Turns out, I am unable to work with people not of my choosing, due to over absorption of negativities from them, and workplace bullying (me as victim).
I have re-discovered work I am interested in, abstract art, which I currently do, but unpaid, as I am on benefits.
I have difficulty with tolerating other people (friendly, just overwhelmed by them) so want to work alone.
I also have difficulty with the thought of money, even though I manage my very frugal budget well.
Psychological issues lie at the root of these, and once I have progressed enough to an area where I am confident in myself, I will come off benefits and work for myself, so will have a little more income than an immature pension.
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#4

Postby Advanced Serendipity » Wed May 28, 2008 11:37 pm

I think you would be surprised how many people feel the same way. This happens when the job is not suited to the person. The right job is one that you wouldn't consider as work - only you know what this is. Look on the bright side - there are many people who make themselves ill through not leaving jobs that they don't enjoy. Ironically, this is very apparent in the Health Care profession. Keep the faith and pursue your passion.
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#5

Postby SpencerK » Thu May 29, 2008 3:20 pm

h8myself wrote:I probably hold the guinness book of world records title for the most jobs ever had by one person. I'm 28 years old and I think I've had over 50 jobs in my life. I cannot remember them all to make a list. Most of them don't last but a few days or weeks. My longest job working consecutively was about 1 year. I have in the past suffered from depression, anxiety, low self esteem, no confidence, self-loathing, delusions. I'm a lot better than I used to be, but I still have mild depression and low self confidence and self esteem. I just landed the best paying job I have ever had. It had amazing benefits and great pay. I was so excited and actually proud of myself for once. I felt like a respectable member of society. But after one day of working there I decided that it was too hard for me to learn, I was scared of screwing up and being humiliated, and that I didn't really like the work itself. So I wonder why I had even applied for it in the first place. The obvious answer being money so I can support myself. But I guess because I still live with my parents and I have very few financial responsibilities that I didn't really want to work. I know that everyone has to work. I just can't make myself do it. I feel like I don't even care about money. I know if my parents kicked me out on the street I would feel differently. I just want a job that has low stress and little responsibility. But I've had jobs of that kind and I quit them also. I'm so confused. Is my problem stemming from a mental disorder or am I just plain lazy?


Hi,

My situation is direct contrast to yours. I have not worked for 6 years (32) b/c I have been doing various course - in reality I could have gotten a job and done the course part-time, but I suffer from social phobia, and in some way have been using the excuse of taking on another course so I dont have to work. The funny thing is, I really want to work - I want to work so bad its unbelievable. I have dreams of working (from when i was a chef) and want it so bad - its just my mind and/or lack of confidence that is stopping me.

You have had 50 jobs? Well, I consider you are lucky. You had a very good job, with prospects, but let this go b/c you don't want to work, well - not sure what age you are, but when you reach my age you'll see that was a mistake.

I can only dream of getting to that stage where I can just go to work, do my job, work hard - get good money, and come home to my lovely mrs (who also has a good job, and had supported me with money etc.. Throughout my 6 years of college/uni/home study).

I personnally think its just b/c you have not money worries, or home pressures to work, that you don't want to. I have used that crouch to stand on, and to be honest it gets worse if you don't work. If you are like me with low self confidence, then not working is the worst thing you can do. It creats a mental block on the matter, and makes it alot harder.

If I was you, id get out to work asap and stick with it. Find something else (as well as work) in your life - ie, exercise, a women, hobby etc..

I am having my final exam in one month, then I cannot possible do any more qualifications - so then its finally time after 6 years for me to get a job.

Firstly, I have no work experience what-so-ever in my new chosen field (what ever that is, got a BND, HND, BSc, A+, N+ in IT/Networking/System Building/Software Development) So, I have to turn up to an interview and deal with the fact that I could have worked, but did not work in those 6 years - I can already feel the burning under my shirt on that one..

lol, going off on one here. Best to say mate, keep working and don't put it off b/c it gets harder and harder to cope with.

Best of luck my friend.
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#6

Postby aussie_eagle2512 » Mon Dec 01, 2008 1:14 am

h8myself wrote:I probably hold the guinness book of world records title for the most jobs ever had by one person. I'm 28 years old and I think I've had over 50 jobs in my life. I cannot remember them all to make a list. Most of them don't last but a few days or weeks. My longest job working consecutively was about 1 year. I have in the past suffered from depression, anxiety, low self esteem, no confidence, self-loathing, delusions. I'm a lot better than I used to be, but I still have mild depression and low self confidence and self esteem. I just landed the best paying job I have ever had. It had amazing benefits and great pay. I was so excited and actually proud of myself for once. I felt like a respectable member of society. But after one day of working there I decided that it was too hard for me to learn, I was scared of screwing up and being humiliated, and that I didn't really like the work itself. So I wonder why I had even applied for it in the first place. The obvious answer being money so I can support myself. But I guess because I still live with my parents and I have very few financial responsibilities that I didn't really want to work. I know that everyone has to work. I just can't make myself do it. I feel like I don't even care about money. I know if my parents kicked me out on the street I would feel differently. I just want a job that has low stress and little responsibility. But I've had jobs of that kind and I quit them also. I'm so confused. Is my problem stemming from a mental disorder or am I just plain lazy?
Just reading your post I couldn't believe how parallel our situations are. I also am in a privileged situation with my parents and rarely are insistent on me carrying out responsibilities. I have been lucky enough that I have been able to largely do things for myself on my own accord rather than being forced into it. But the fear of being humiliated and screwing up is almost dead on the same with me, because in fact I am afraid of my own habit of giving up things too early hence I might try not to pursue them in the first place as deep down I would have the belief that there would always be a warm, welcoming home for me to come back to. But I am quite established intelligence wise and have spent much of my time on the computer reading about similar scenarios rather than watching videos or doing car performance figures in excel as I would of in previous times. I have held a very small job (12 hrs p/w) now for 19 months despite going to the boss several times wanting to leave (only since doing the afternoon shift) and then decided not to and on MANY more occasions thinking about the idea when the game gets a bit tough (as it can in the afternoon period in a supermarket). I also have trouble gaugeing whether I suffer from a genuine problem or are lazy and are severe in my expression of it.
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#7

Postby Freebird » Mon Dec 01, 2008 3:59 pm

There's a great opportunity here; if you (or anyone) is in a privileged enough position not to have to work - through dint of partners or parents or whatever - then it gives you the freedom to do as Minzhu suggested and AdvancedSerendipity alluded to - find the job of your dreams no matter what the pay. You won't get that many opportunities in life to take such a path so easily. Once financial commitments and family responsibilities start to come your way it'll be much harder to follow the low-paying dream jobs. If you do that now, by the time you come up against those commitments you may have worked your dream jobs into well-paying dream jobs.

So see your current positions as wonderful opportunities.

FB
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#8

Postby aussie_eagle2512 » Mon Dec 01, 2008 9:31 pm

Freebird wrote:There's a great opportunity here; if you (or anyone) is in a privileged enough position not to have to work - through dint of partners or parents or whatever - then it gives you the freedom to do as Minzhu suggested and AdvancedSerendipity alluded to - find the job of your dreams no matter what the pay. You won't get that many opportunities in life to take such a path so easily. Once financial commitments and family responsibilities start to come your way it'll be much harder to follow the low-paying dream jobs. If you do that now, by the time you come up against those commitments you may have worked your dream jobs into well-paying dream jobs.

So see your current positions as wonderful opportunities.

FB
Well you say not work at all, I do a little bit of work just nowhere near enough by most peoples standards. I do my little job and some minor chores around the house just to make fewer extra jobs for my parents to do. Also, I would hardly call my job a dream job in fact its barely sufficent to run my car and many of my co-workers tell me how they dont particually like doing the job I do and whilst they might chip in for 1 hour and help I will be doing the job for the greater part of 4 hours but the advantage swings back with the much less overall hours I do and the much less responsibility so though I might complain sometimes overall its pretty good. I think once I have a sufficently-paying job under my belt and am in a stable position there the rest of my commitments I wont have much trouble doing eg. buying a place (in fact compared to looking for proper work I pray to have only those other problems). The whole finding work process with what seems like a process designed to find your negatives rather than your positives is a very undesirable substitute to simply increasing my working hours and tasks at my present workplace (of which I have called a success overall even with the specialised program I am on which made it much more possible). The extra hours are close to being confirmed so life will improve a bit there.
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#9

Postby deludedintoschizoid » Fri Dec 05, 2008 6:23 pm

28 and been through more than fifty job. So sorry you do not hold the record.

I have finally found a career path I want to follow, and although I am still going through job after job I am learning a bit more about my career each time and so improving and becoming more experienced.
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#10

Postby deludedintoschizoid » Fri Dec 05, 2008 7:03 pm

and get a permanent position. it hasn't happend yet but I am getting closer all the time.
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#11

Postby aussie_eagle2512 » Fri Dec 05, 2008 9:11 pm

deludedintoschizoid wrote:28 and been through more than fifty job. So sorry you do not hold the record.

I have finally found a career path I want to follow, and although I am still going through job after job I am learning a bit more about my career each time and so improving and becoming more experienced.
Well if I did more applying I could probably come close to your record but I just cant convince myself to go for jobs that probably will be lucky to last me a few days. One job I lasted two days and I was dismissed (probably for being too slow) another I didn't even last out the orientation the fast-paced and unfamilar environment I just couldn't imagine working in. Sometimes I chuck hissy fits just not understanding why I do things the way I do, and these fits are whilst others are not even home so its not just attention seeking but maybe a cry for help as I imagine neighbours coming over to help in the process though I am glad they dont in the end. My extra hours at work dont look like coming anytime soon as it turns out. I am in the process of applying for government assistance largely so my parents dont have to provide the most assistance. Though I sometimes look for jobs and apply for some its all online I am afraid and cant be bothered doing anything else to get a job. I see applying for work as a sacrifice enough on my part therefore the rest I should be assisted with. I can also be quite clumbsy and slow to learn things and this over the years has made me lose a lot of confidence in myself. I want to work and do my bit for soceity in the form of earning a rightful income rather than living off the government but I'm just paranoid about employers being seemingly all-powerful in that they can dismiss or reject someone on small details and sacrifice a whole persons livelihood without barely thinking about it. Maybe I am just stubborn, too set in my ways despite my young age (I have been told I am very mature for my age) and am becoming increasingly cunning and educated in my resistance (despite being just another person who in reality can be dumped on the streets or penalised for bludging off welfare). I feel if I get enough help I will change but its hard to convince people that I need help when I am seemingly just a lazy brat who does nothing but winge and not do enough to help himself. I just dont think sometimes me and the employment application process are a good match. I would have to lower myself to a level of basically begging a employer for a job despite the fact I have a privlidged life, hate the ideology of employers, know if it came down to it I could be smarter than a lot of them, dont really want to work (mainly as I believe myself to be a burden to others) but dont want to live off the efforts of others either. I just imagine myself in a simple job where I do my simple laid-out instructed tasks (with a clear and simple routine involved) get paid whenever and just go home each day and forget about it. I dont care much about career advancement, getting big dollars unless of course I need them or becoming a celebrity through some great deed I just want to live a quiet life do my job and do my stuff.
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#12

Postby deludedintoschizoid » Fri Dec 05, 2008 9:24 pm

well I had a permanent role but work is not much at the mo cos of the recession so I am only doing temp work. I am very motivated for looking for the next job and get one after the other. In my work even when I have a permanent role with one company it is only going from job to job any way. I have messed up the last two jobs though, one because my alarm didn't work, this only happened once, but in the first few days. The latest one all my work was good and they were happy with me and then I moved this metal walk way out of the way and it fell to the bottom of the sewage pool, I was gutted because this guy would have offered me a permanent role otherwise, just got to be more careful. Good thing is that in both the last two jobs I have learned things in areas of my trade that I was lacking before so I can only see it as paid training really nothing to be sad about. Better than paying out for something and not working. Although I really value my education in psychology, half the reason I am on this site, never got a degree though, just some higher education and a lot of partying and playing us football.

There is nothing like finding a career you want to do, and to think I almost joined the army.
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#13

Postby desperate788 » Sat Dec 06, 2008 1:58 pm

another one here
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#14

Postby ota_king » Thu Aug 20, 2009 4:51 am

What you need is people who can understand you and encourage you.
This is not about what kind of job you have because no matter how easy or great the work place is, you will want to quit.
Low self esteem seems to be one of the most biggest factor in this problem and also you seem to have problem handling stress.
Work is can never be stress or care free and no matter what kind of job you have you will eventually have to deal with people one way or the other.
What you need is encouragement from people who care about you and yourself to reassure that you're doing a good job.
You need to open up and talk about this to your friends, parents or your girlfriend/boyfriend. Going to a consultant would also help.
Reward yourself whenever you've done your job successfully or stayed with one job longer than you intended.
Talk about what you've done at your job each day with people who cares about you.
It's alright to screw up every now and then because if your still hired, it means your still doing everything else right.
and remember, You're hired because you're NEEDED!
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