How to keep a positive outlook. when nothing goes right

Postby twin21974 » Mon Dec 13, 2004 3:32 pm

I'm having a hard time trying to keep a positive outlook on my life right about now. My wife and I have had some rocky times in the past few years.. but nothing with affairs just my actions my anger my jealousy ..... well the other night she told me she wanted us to seperate go about our own ways. and i love her soo much i'm willing to do what it takes to change (if you read my past posts) i was involved in an accident layed in a hospital for 9 days 5 of them not able to walk or move... temp paralized... well since that time and now its been 2 months , in that time frame i've realized how i have screwed up my relationship with my wife, she claims that i will not change even after this accident. how can i show and prove to her I have and will change?? is there a way? she says she don't love me, but....just because she don't love me is that a reason to divorce? love takes time. it took time to end and will take time to fall back in love again right? I LOVE HER MADLY thats why its hard to keep a positive outlook. i just wish this pain would stop..... so please anyone with any suggestions feel free to help me thanks
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Postby f8ed_angel » Tue Dec 14, 2004 6:39 am

Twin, I wish I knew what to say to help you. Your wife sounds like she has her mind made up. I would suggest asking her to meet with you, just to talk. Let her know she can walk away at anytime, but that you would like for her to truly hear you out with an open mind. You should talk face to face. Let her see that you are serious. If you have never cried before and suddenly you are crying in front of her, something to this effect may make an impact on her. Let her know how important it is to you for you to keep your family together for the children's sake as well. Then tell her that if she doesn't want to move home, that is ok, but ask if you can go out on a few dates together, something to give you a chance to PROVE that you really have changed. If she doesn't see the change, she can turn and walk the other way with nothing lost. But if she does, it could mean the difference between divorce and a successful marriage. You have to make her think that doing this will benefit her. You have to be willing to do this on her terms and with her rules, and let her know that you are. Tell her that she can set the boundaries and you will not move any faster than she is willing. Maybe this could be a new beginning. If you really did come to a realization after your accident, which I do know happens to many people, tell her what happened to you. Be completely open and honest with your feelings and don't hide any of the truth from her.
Good Luck!
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