Thank you for your reply. I'm sorry it took me so long. I'm even trying to avoid to think about all this...and thats no way to improve my situation. I realize that. But it often just paralizes me.
I've finally heard news about that possible governement funding (for which they needed me, just to give governement impression they were working multidisciplinairy)...after almost three years the decesion is that our hospital isn't going to get the funding.
For me this has two implications. First of all it means i'm not going to get a full time job there (they had to give me a full time when they would receive the funding). Secondly...there is no reason at all for them to keep there anymore. I still have a contract until the end of this year...but I doubt there will be a future.
Anyway there has to happen something. I need to look for another job, but at the same time i want to make this as good as I can...just using it as a place to "practice" myself.
Still easier said then done. I'm awful at communicating clearly and thats what my job is about
I'll try to answer your three questions:
What activities I like: I love to be around and hang out with people that just take me the way i am, i feel most comfortable there. I used to like to read a lot , but lately i have problems concentrating and can't seem to find the energy to read things for work. I enjoy traveling the most of all. I like to be away...Maybe it sounds crazy, but it doesn't really matter where I go. I just like to be on my way, on a train, in a car, on a plane...I just enjoy that a lot.
When do i feel most confident: That doesn't happen very often. Like I said above, when i'm with people that know me and appreciate me the way i am...It aren't a lot of people, but it seems their confidence in me gives me strength (but unfortunatelly it doesn't last when they're not around).
I also fee more confident if I know for sure that I know the right way to do something. But in my profession there is never a way to do something good for sure.
Three biggest achievements in my life so far:
Nothing very impressive I think.
I think it is an achievement for me that I got my masters degree five years ago, without much trouble and with good grades.
I moved out of my parents home about half a year ago...that was a big step for me to take too although it was not a good place for me to stay. I hoped that moving out would help me to take my life more in my hands.
Not sure what a third achievement would be. Maybe that I still try to improve my life, and still go on with work etc although some days i just would've liked to give up.