Okay well, I'm really jealous.
I've been in no relationships where the guy has cheated on me. [as far as i know]
I have cheated, though.
I was recently in a 2.5 year relationship, where I was so jealous I made him stop talking to all of his girl "friends", and I always checked his phone, and accused him, and thought he was looking at other females all the time.
He eventually left me.
Here I stand now, with a new relationship with an AMAZING man who I believe would never cheat on me, or do anything to hurt me..
and here I go being Jealous..again.
I havent cheated on him, or wanted to.
I have talked to other guys, but I let it be known that I'm with somebody, and I have no interest in doing anything.
I dont get jealous of girls on TV, or girls on movies..
We watch PO*N together, and I dont mind any of that.
If a girl makes eye contact, or smiles.. or anything at him, I slightly get an uneasy feeling and start to mean mug.. not that intense though, I get over it pretty quickly, and we go about our business.
My problem is with FEMALE FRIENDS.
Texting, Myspacing, Calling, IMing, or talking to in person.
I freak OUT.
I get this OVERWHELMING feeling inside me..
My heart starts to race..
I think about scenarios inside my head of what they could have done or talked about.
I say really mean things, I freak out completely.
I dont even let him have a chance to explain, or tell me what they've talked about. [And even if he does, I dont believe him.]
And often times [with my ex] it resulted to violence.
[Because of me throwing things, or getting in his face, he reacted back.]
But my man I have now.. hasnt got violent with me, yet..
Which is why I need to get some help, somehow.
This relationship has been the best I have EVER been in.. but I'm still jealous of female friends, or if he talks to another female, or looks at a female's myspace.
The only explanation I can come up with, is my insecurity.
Iam insecure, but there's got to be more to it than that.
I dont know what else to say, I'm just looking for help.. or a lead in the direction to GET some help.
I dont want this relationship to end over my jealousy.
I love him, and he's helped me out so much with my life issues [addictions, boyfriends, ect..] I've known him over 5 years and we just recently became a couple, and HE doesnt even know how to help my jealousy.
Thanks for taking the time to read/reply.
I really appreciate it.