I did post on an earlier thread about this, but just wanted to share my story as it has followed an almost identical scenario to yours.
I have formed these obsessive attachments throughout my life and starting from when I was at school with a teacher (a mild one by comparison to other attachments to people). A psychiatrist, who was very kind and "motherly" towards me later on when I was being treated for depression became another. I became totally besoted and obsessed with this person. I needed her desparately and fantasised continually that I was her child (I was 23 at the time!). She left and went to New Zealand and I was beside myself with despair, I just could not cope with, how I saw it, being abandoned and I wanted to die.
It took me a long time to recover what felt like a terrible bereavement, but I did eventually. Despite this however, I got into this identical situation again with another older woman who was kind, understanding and supportive to me a few years later. I thought about this woman constantly and even dreamed continually that I was dialling her phone number and could never get through and I would wake up in tears. My obsession drove her mad in the end because I just could not stop myself from phoning her. Eventually, her husband told me to stay away (and I dont blame him) just that I had no control over my behaviour and spent each day in total despair. When this ended this time I did take an overdose and was in hospital. I never told the therapist I saw then about my obsession because I thought it was absolutely mad and I hadnt heard of anything like this before. I just said I was depressed. I know my attachments are a desparate need to be nurtured, but I also know that I can never satisfy this need in this way, yet still continue to find myself in this situation
It was only when I chose this "anonymous" platform to explain this a while back that I discovered others have this problem also and it is a relatively common scenario. I was so relieved to find this that I almost breathed a sigh of relief
My situation also is a mother who was constantly depressed and ill, had frequent and prolonged stays in hospital who I was constantly craving affection from as a child but who was so withdrawn that I felt at times that I was invisible to her. My father had issues with violence and had a belt hanging on a wall as a permanent fixture for beating his children. My mother died when I was 12 and I then had a step mother who wanted my father, but not his difficult 13 year old and I was thrown out of their house when I was 15. I feel that despite this, I have worked hard at being a good mother to my children, giving them all the things I felt I have needed and in a strange kind of way, have gone some way to redress the balance for myself, but I still have this same "attachment" problem.
I know that this situation, that I cannot control and that happens to me as an adult comes from this earlier neglect, but still - have no way of controlling it and getting myself into this torturous condition. I do not get so attached with every supportive older woman however, but this has nevertheless happened to me on 4 occasions, and I feel I have the capacity to get into this situation again.
I know I need help with it and am in the process of trying to sort this out. Just wanted to add my story!