Fear of flying

Postby morgank » Mon Feb 16, 2004 2:36 pm

Hey
I am looking of help and advice!
My boyfriend was in a coach crash when he was young! This has continued to effect him all his life! His main problem is; he is unable to fly! He really want's to, but he has panic attacks. He has tried Valium and counciling, but nothing helps.

We want to go on holiday for the first time together in July, but he is already scared, and depressed over it. I want to do my best to help him.
If anybody knows of a prescribed drug, etc that can help, which is strong and effective or has any advice, please let me know.
:?
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#1

Postby Roger Elliott » Mon Feb 16, 2004 2:44 pm

Hi morgank and welcome to Uncommon Forum.

I recommend your boyfriend goes to an Uncommon Knowledge-trained therapist - we have quite a few in Richmond and London - who will be able to detraumatise the original coach crash incident and any since then, which with a couple of other anxiety management techniques will almost certainly get him over his attacks.

You can give Louise a call on 01273 557799 for a recommendation if you like.

Roger
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#2

Postby grovelli » Mon Feb 16, 2004 2:57 pm

Welcome to the forum!
Is your boyfriend scared of heights?
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#3

Postby morgank » Mon Feb 16, 2004 3:39 pm

No his not afraid of anything else apart from flying. He is even ok on coach's! He just cannot get his head around, that if you are in the air and something goes wrong, then there is absolutly nothing you can do, where as if your on a coach at least the ground is there to stop you.
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#4

Postby grovelli » Mon Feb 16, 2004 4:18 pm

Then I'm sure he could really benefit from a combination of explanation and relaxation. And they all rhyme, what an elation! :lol:
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#5

Postby morgank » Thu Feb 19, 2004 2:43 pm

thank you for all your advice.
We have decided to take coach trip's because he doesn't feel to step onto a plane yet, even if it isn't going to move.
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#6

Postby Roger Elliott » Thu Feb 19, 2004 3:03 pm

Hi morgank

Just so you know, a friend of mine who used to drive all the way across France several times a year because of a flying phobia has just been treated by Mark Tyrrell. He's a pretty tough guy but before the session he said to me "I'm just psychologically incapable of getting on a plane"

I spoke to him today and he says that although he hasn't been on a plane yet, he feels much better when he thinks about it, and when he hears others talking about faraway exotic places, he doesn't exclude himself from the conversation. He has planned a plane trip to France.

This is not an unusual story, as others on this forum will be able to testify. I tell it so your boyfriend knows that effective help is available.

Roger
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#7

Postby andy » Fri Feb 20, 2004 1:49 pm

I'd absolutely agree roger.

This kind of phobia is easy to cure, often in a single session. I know I've helped someone with this and they're now fine with flying and I'm sure others have too :D

Andy.
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#8

Postby ad123 » Mon Feb 23, 2004 4:40 pm

Hi Morgank

I was the same as your boyfriend. I'm 28 and didn't fly for a period of 10 years. It hard to describe to someone what it feels like to be scared of flying - the fear start the minute a holiday is booked, not just when you get on the plane. You will probably find your boyfriend is not really interested in talking about your holiday, or does not get excited about it. People used to say to me if I was a little stressed 'what you need is two weeks away' and I used to think 'bugger off - a holiday would be more stressfull!!). But, thankfully I can now get on a plane, and have in fact flown alone to Hong Kong. I don't like it, and I still get very tense and dont speak to anyone, but at least I can now do it. The only advice I can offer your boyfriend is to keep motivated, and keep trying - he will never enjoy the experience of flying, but think of how limited his life will be if he doens't. I don't know if you have children, but perhaps he can think about when / if you do, he will be limiting his childrens lives too! Thats the one that done it for me.
Its really the fear of dying / unknown - not the fear of planes that he needs to conquer.
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