lurkermiss wrote:I'll use myself as an example - I'm a very tall female, overweight, and cannot sustain a one-person audience if I tried (read: BORING conversationalist). I'm not socially intelligent or 'bright' in general, have said some ditsy things, can be scatterbrained, cannot drive a car even though I'm over 21. I lie to cover my inadequacies. I don't know much about current events. Don't have a hobby (and cannot seem to garner motivation to get one even if I want to) or any discernible talent. To put it bluntly, I AM an empty vessel. I don't have that many friends, and the ones that I have do not have me in their priority lists.
I'm not really lovable, although I go out of my way to be pleasant and helpful to people. Most people would describe me as just a random, obese nice girl if they wanted to give compliments.
I'm not the best dresser, and I cannot say that my physical traits attract friends and others (never had a boyfriend, but lie that I've had one, making up imaginary love dilemmas and so on). Thus, I ask, am I just meant to be a wallpaper? Why do some people find it easy to be confident, fashionable, graceful, likable, competent, talented, beautiful, beautiful on the inside, funny, witty, sarcastic, and why do others don't? This is an honest, heartfelt question that has been the bane of my sanity- I've been depressed, and have considered running away from everything and everyone and starting my life all over again. Of course, I know that can't be possible.
Be truthful, after all, we ARE on the internet. Is it so that the term "born loser" isn't just an old wives' tale?
I'm sure you are being just a little bit too hard on yourself.
You don't have to be of a particular size or intelligence to be great. How do you measure intelligence anyway?
In my book, being pleasant and going out of your way to help people is a rare quality these days.
You don't have to be a vogue cover girl to attract the right man and the first step I would suggest is to start loving yourself, rather than putting yourself down.
As someone who suffers from depression I can sympathise with you as it can be a vicious circle. But promise yourself that tomorrow you will start on that successful journey by repeating to yourself a couple of positive statements to yourself about your qualities and take greater pride in yourself by possibly buying a new dress.
Always look on the bright side of life.
Best of luck.