I want to understand myself

Postby ryane24 » Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:38 am

I wasn't entirely sure if this was the appropriate forum but here goes. I will make this as brief as possibly, if i gave you all the details I could write a book. I often feel like a very confused and insecure person. I do things and i don't know why. I feel uncertain about my path in life and how i want to live. But what really made me want help is my relationship with my girlfriend. Sometimes i feel emotions that cause problems, and i just dont know what they mean or why i have them. But anyways, my real question is, how do i get to know myself better? Know what im really feeling? and what i really want? I just feel so confused sometimes. Any suggestions would be great. Thanks.
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Postby Triarius » Mon Mar 30, 2009 3:37 pm

Simply ask yourself "Why did I do that?" after something happens that you don't understand. It takes time, and you have work on being completely honest with yourself, but it's easy once you get it right.

Also, study why other people do what they do. You are a person after all. You can more objectively study other people, and that will help you understand yourself better too. That's one of the primary reasons I hang out here.
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Postby johnjoe » Wed Apr 01, 2009 10:06 am

You need to believe in yourself as your confidence and self esteem are low.
Give yourself credit for all the achievements you have up to date.

Don't think too much - action is much better. Think of all the things you could do if nothing could hold you back and you were full of conficence. Well think that way - be the best by acting it out in your mind daily and doing little things that bring you pleasure and confidence.

Being insecure is only a feeling you are allowing to take over your life, remember that you decide what you think and feel insude - so make you thoughts work for you - be the best you can be.

Best Wishes
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Postby sebas » Sun Apr 05, 2009 3:27 am

There are loads of ways to know oneself better, but many don't work for the same people. You say you could write a book, so why don't you? It could be interesting.
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Postby gull2516 » Mon Apr 06, 2009 7:28 pm

Watch yourself. Observe your thoughts and actions. Meditation is the way
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Postby positiveuser » Sat Apr 11, 2009 11:05 pm

I agree with johnjoe.
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Postby Daf » Fri Jun 26, 2009 12:15 am

I dont really think the problem is understanding what you do, but wanting your girlfriend to understand you. I feel like Im goin crazy sometimes trying to get people to understand me, although I perfectly understand me. Dunno if that makes sense to you?
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Postby Foolishboy » Thu Jul 02, 2009 4:40 pm

"We become what we think"

If you are continually thinking and listening to that mind chatter, then you will become those thoughts. You will become confused and frustrated. You are effectively creating this situation you find yourself in (as do millions of others). It's nobody elses responsibility but yours.

Finding a way to get in touch with your true feelings, rather than attaching yourself to those thoughts is the way forward.

Recognise the mind chatter as being a separate entity to you. As separate from your true self. After all, if you can do that, that negative mind chatter can't actually be you can it, as you can't separate yourself.

Also, experience your feelings by 'just being', rather than listening to your thoughts, is most important.

Meditation is useful. Clears the mind weeds away, and gets you back in touch with yourself.

You will find in time, that you have no need to 'make' people understand you. They either do or they don't, but thankfully you can lose that need to make them.

~ Do creative things, that you enjoy.

~ Surround yourself with things that are your very essence. What do you like?

~ Remove yourself from vexed souls - they are draining.

~ STOP thinking, and just do (and feel).

~ The addiciton to the mind will dissolve and the rest will follow.

Stuff like that ;)
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Postby Craig M » Thu Dec 10, 2009 2:34 am

This is a deep question, and I think just that you are asking it is a sign of wisdom on your part.

Things other posters have suggested are all good. In general I think what you are seeking is something that comes with time, and it's not like you ever get to the end of the journey. But by asking and by doing the things people here have suggested, gradually you will come to know yourself better and better.
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Postby Antihero » Sun Apr 11, 2010 12:25 am

Take mushrooms by yourself.
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Postby vbelenky » Fri Apr 30, 2010 4:14 pm

I think that understanding oneself is important because than you know what to do in life and that brings happiness. For example, I try to be honest with myself - I'm not that smart. I know many people that are smart. This is frustrating to me but I tell myself "good for them." I desire to be happy, though, so I search for things that I'm good at and that interest me. My job as a programmer is pretty interesting but aside from that I find that I enjoy discussing things about life (the way that I'm doing right now). I'm trying to take a smart approach to life - I understand that there is not a lot of time to spare each day so I need to choose the most important thing to focus on. At this time I would like to focus on what discipline exists that would match my interest. I wouldn't mind switching my career to something where I can discuss with people topics about life but not too abstract, rather down-to-earth. So, I am 29 years old and it seems to me that I'm pretty happy in life because I'm understanding myself more and more.
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Postby manonmoon » Tue May 18, 2010 8:17 pm

Daniel Goleman has written several books that would be a much benefit to you, I think.

Vital Lies Simple Truths - help you to be honest and true to yourself. nothing is more counter-productive than convincing yourself of things that aren't real, or more importantly believing things about yourself that aren't true, good or bad.

Emotional Intelligence - help you learn what emotions are, why you have them, and most importantly how you can control them to be a productive and healthy force in your life.

Enjoy :)
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Postby drmilianus » Mon Jun 07, 2010 7:01 am

ha, you guyes are delusional.
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