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tuesdee
New Member
Joined: 01 Mar 2004
Posts: 4
Mon Mar 01, 2004 10:43 pm
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| megalomania. Is this a real mental disorder? |
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I was discussing my husband's state of mind to someone and they said he had megalomania. I looked it up and that is exactly what he has. I am serious. It's like a gambling problem or an obsession. He can't get his mind off of doing something incredible which he can't possible do. Like starting businesses or (I am ashamed to say) take over Cuba. He has gone through our saving and then through our credit. I am at wit's end. Is there another name for what he has? I can't find anything on megalomania that treats the illness seriously. What is so upsetting, is he seems normal in other ways. |
yellowgreen5
Junior Member
Joined: 12 Jun 2004
Posts: 91
Sat Jun 12, 2004 3:59 am
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I believe it is also called Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). I'm not sure if they're exactly the same thing or not, but atleast close. You might find looking it up under that more helpful. |
Artfarts
Junior Member
Joined: 16 Jun 2004
Posts: 50
Wed Jun 16, 2004 7:38 pm
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How long has he been this way? Is this behaviour a new thing or was he always over the top? Grandiose plans etc could also indicate manic depression (or bi polar disorder) or something else. But, then, these might just be labels from different eras..?
I'm sure there are other people out there who are more qualified to comment; it's just that this type of thing rings a bell with me- I am the daughter of the Second Coming! (No, please don't fall to your knees, I'm trying to live a normal/grounded life..!) 
Either way, though (sorry- don't mean to be flippant about your situation) it sounds horrendous for you. Have you got people to talk to about this? Do family friends mention it to you (or are they too embarrassed)?
I presume he, at least, thinks everything is just fine.
Has he ever conceded he might have been wrong about something?
Best of luck and take care,
jaz |
tuesdee
New Member
Joined: 01 Mar 2004
Posts: 4
Wed Jun 16, 2004 8:16 pm
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Thanks Jazbug5.
He will say he is sorry, but always, "I'm sorry, but.....". I have now left him and got my own apartment. I still see him daily. It is so comforting to have a place to go to get away from him. I do think his is bi-polar. I have recently read something about it. He changes his life long goals, 4 times a day.
This may sound off the subject, but here is an example of him never being wrong. 2 christmases ago, we had decided to spend a quiet christmas with just me, him and our 15 yr old son. On christmas day, him father's ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend and his two teenage kids called and said they were in town. Virtually, that was 4 adults, three of whom I have never met and one was an ex of my husband's dad.
Well, my husband invited them all over for christmas dinner. Of course I had a fit. I had planned a meal for 3, and the grocery stores were all closed. Even to this day, he cannot see anything wrong with inviting them.
After a while, the person living with the 'unstable' person, starts to question their normality.
Gee, was it selfish to not want to share my 10 lb turkey with my husband's ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend and his two teenagers? |
Artfarts
Junior Member
Joined: 16 Jun 2004
Posts: 50
Thu Jun 17, 2004 8:19 am
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I would have battered him about the head with the bloody thing!
And then them, for being so bloody rude. What the hell were they thinking..?
Sounds like you're doing what's best for you now: keep doing more of the same. Perhaps by sacrificing your own comfort all this time you've also been providing him with a comfort zone for behaving the way he does. I can't imagine that sort of behaviour going down particularly well with people less close to him.
Is he willing to make an effort to understand what it is he's been doing to push you away? Or is there always some excuse or justification?
Good luck with maintaining your own perameters of 'normality' - I know what that can be like from experience: I may be generalising horribly here, but I think it's one of those things women are prone to being on the receiving end of in relationships. Men seem to find it easier to insist they are always right, and women find it easier to back down and/or compromise. It really messes up your self esteem. A difficult pattern to change once it's set. |
BlueHunter
New Member
Joined: 20 Jun 2004
Posts: 4
Sun Jun 20, 2004 6:49 pm
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Wow. I've never heard of this megalomania thing before but I honestly think I have it (maybe just to a small extent). I'm trying to think of what would work to shut me up...
Perhaps you could try to sit down and tell him he's just a normal person. Tell him you married him because he's a normal, caring person. Tell him that he'll always be just a normal person, and that he should try to be happy and proud of what he has. Tell him that you could never love Napolean Bonaparte or John D. Rockefeller, because as awe-inspiring as they may be, they could never love you like he does. Tell him you're telling him all this for his own sake, and you just want him to be happy.
As a messed up sixteen year old kid I'm in no way forcing you to do this. It's just an idea, not even a suggestion. Anyway, hope I helped, even just a little. |
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