I have no feelings...

Relationships and families - wonderful when they're working, distressing when they're not.

Postby mre0609 » Thu Nov 05, 2009 2:23 pm

For about a year now it almost seems as I have no feelings at all. I have a wonderful boyfriend of 3 years who loves me more than anything. I tell him I love him too, but I think that is just out of habit and what I am supposed to do to be normal. Nothing makes me laugh anymore, I just laugh at things when other people do. My friend's father-in-law just passed away and I felt no sort of sadness or sympathy for the family. I basically just acted like I cared. I know that sounds awful, but I feel like a cold-hearted person. Nothing seems to excite me anymore, nothing makes me sad, nothing makes me happy. I am just un-emotional. I have no reason to be depressed, my life is perfectly normal. College education, great job, just bought a house, great family, no financial or relationship problems. I am only 27 years old, what is wrong with me?
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Postby freedom80 » Thu Nov 05, 2009 3:18 pm

Hmm I know that being unhappy can cause no emotion and a kind of selfishness which is a depressive state but you say your not unhappy. That does seem odd. So just all of a sudden no emotions for no apparent reason. Hmm, have you experienced anything stressful the past year at all? Sometimes you might not realised you were stressed, it can come out in all different ways...maybe this is the case?
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Postby PoppyGoodWill » Fri Nov 06, 2009 3:33 am

Numbness like that is a big sign of depression. Or anxiety. Like the world around you is kind of flat and far away all the time. Nothing touches you really. Like you're in a kind of emotional bubble. Sound familiar?
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Postby Terminator02 » Fri Nov 06, 2009 3:57 am

Sounds like major depression.
Does depression/mental illness run in your family? How did you feel when you wrote this post? What made you come to the forums? If you search hard, there are some emotions that are causing you to seek this forum. What happened in the past year that may potentially account for some of this? Are you in a transitional period?

Sometimes, on paper, things sound perfect. You mention a relationship, great job, house....what everyone is taught to aspire to. Are you seeking more? Is your job good on paper or what you are inspired by? Is your relationship good on paper and you are seeking more? Do you feel like you are living a life where you are doing things that you aught to be doing instead of things you want to be doing?

Some of these may bring about a better awareness to your situation and I await to hear more from you. Thanks for joining the forum to try to get insight.
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Postby mre0609 » Fri Nov 06, 2009 1:38 pm

Thanks to those who responded. I don't feel depressed, but maybe that's what it is. I can't pinpoint anything stressful in my life in the past year. I have a great job, which can be boring at times, but the money is good and the hours are flexible. I would like to go back to school to get my master's but overall I'm satisfied with that aspect. Depression doesn't run in my family. I don't cry or get sad at things a normal person would. For example is someone is killed I somehow think they probably deserved it. Society tells me I shouldn't feel this way, but my head tells me these bad things.
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Postby PoppyGoodWill » Sun Nov 08, 2009 8:44 pm

Whatever is going on, it's not normal to be so emotionally numb over a long period of time. Are you perhaps angry about something that happened in yoru past, and repressing it? Sometimes anger unexpressed and not dealt with can leave us feeling numb and silent. LIke we short of shut down because we're afraid that if we allow ourselves to feel something, what will come out will be all this big, scary anger. Did something happen to you that hurt you and made you really very angry?
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Postby msdebi » Sat Nov 14, 2009 1:55 am

I actually know how you feel, because I've actually felt that way also. Nothing seemed to bothered me or surprise me or get me excited in anyway. everything just seem like how you would see things in books. I felt so emotion-less, care-free and heartless. I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I think emotions work on balancing each other, you feel happiness after feeling some sort of saddness, and vice-versa.
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Postby carlinfan » Sat Nov 14, 2009 7:38 pm

The fact that you are bothered by not feeling anything shows that you do have some emotions. Truly heartless people don't care about being that way, it's normal to them.

have you always been this way? Or has your state changed from feeling compassion and all those other feelings to feeling nothing?
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Postby iggypayne » Tue Dec 01, 2009 10:00 pm

I understand perfectly how you're feeling, mre0609. I came searching for an answer as well, but it seems no one understands it, and the only people who would understand would be those who have experienced precisely this. Unfortunately, those are also the people who do not happen to know why this occurs or how to fix it. =/ Hope an answer comes along soon. Well, do know, you're not alone. =3
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Postby whiterabbit » Fri Dec 04, 2009 2:10 am

Hi mre0609,

May be, you're just being yourself with your emotions? Don't other people pretend to be in love when they are not, or care about people when they don't, or laugh at silly jokes just as a nicety? Sure, it's not normal if you feel nothing if your close relative dies, or if you won 30 mils in a lottery, or if a decomposing zombie runs after you. Otherwise, I suspect your life is not a Hollywood story to pump adrenaline into your bloodstream. If you don't love somebody (your bf), it's normal not to love him. It's just what it is and you don't have to feel guilty and look for problems in yourself. But lying to him to look "normal" doesn't sound very nice.
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Postby Liebe » Mon Dec 14, 2009 3:48 am

I have been trying to ignore my drama and study for finals. Took a study break and saw your post. I have two things to say about this that I hope will help you. The first is to help you appreciate your situation and the second is my solution for everything :)

I have been struggling all my life with emotional issues. See it is like there is this bell curve and all the average people are in the middle and there is on side of the spectrum and the other. You and I, we are not in the middle. What really sucks about not being in the middle is how pressing it is to understand other people sometimes or for them to understand you.

I feel everything! It is a curse! Ever since I was young it has been this way and of course as I got older it got worse. I have talked to spiders in the shower, tried to negotiate where my land starts and theirs begins...because I can't kill them. I have taken pigeons on train rides to animal hospitals for treatment...did you know that no form of rescue will pick up a pigeon..apparently there are so many stupid pigeons that if you see one squabbling on the side of the road you are to watch it die or inconvenience yourself while at work risking your job to take it to the closest animal hospital which happens to be 125th street and you work downtown! Then there was that time when I was ten and of all the yards on our street the suffering pigeon had to be in mine so I could adamantly refuse to get into my mothers car until she called someone to pick up the pigeon...she literally dragged me kicking and screaming slapping at me and cursing to the heavens "why today" and grounded me! Then there was the time all my friends wanted to egg the mean old ladies house next door, I didn't want to look as crazy as I was so I went...the next morning I woke up early, went over to their house...one of them was always outside...and my lucky day watering the lawn...so I pointed out the house had something on the side of it and I would wash it off for them...so who drives by while I am washing the side of their house..one of my friends who tells everyone else and the entire neighborhood finds out....aside of everyone laughing at me I was never invited to egg a house again. I could go on and on....but I will end with this last one that crawls up my but on a day to day basis...I take the subway everyday and every now and then..sometimes frequently there will be someone with a kid in a stroller or some sort of big heavy bag to climb up a huge flight of stairs with...who grabs it to help them ....me...as my hands hurt or my arm or maybe it doesn't even hurt that day...I am cursing all the guys that walk right by these women on a day to day basis....I am 5 feet plus an inch holding steady at 120...not the toughest or strongest girl you ever came across.

Anyway, I can't not do these things because I can like feel how these people feel...I feel bad for bugs...I feel bad all the time for everything. I am divorced (sort of...but it is a long story) but when I asked my husband what made him fall in love with me...his response was "I thought you were God's gift to this Earth...I never met anyone who cares so much about other people...even people they don't know...just imagine how different things were be if there were more people like you'" It was the nicest thing I had ever heard anyone say not just to me but to anyone else...that moment was the one and only time I appreciated being me. I hate being me!! I would rather stay home and not deal with anything! I can't watch the news because I cry and it puts me in severe depression. This is what you get when you feel. In fact, my quote on facebook states it is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a sick society...when I found that quote I loved it because I get sick all the time...watching people do harm to other people...sometimes I feel like I can't adjust because we live in a profoundly sick society so maybe it ok. Sorry back to the point...when you are feeling down because you can't feel anything...please think of me...think of how miserable it would be if you felt for everyone and every emotion you had seemed more heightened than everyone else. I would trade with you in a heart beat ....even if it meant losing my sex drive...which by the way brings me to the second thing I was hoping would help you.

My sex drive is also a curse....I swear I am hornier than most men! The only time it is not a curse is when I am with someone in an extremely passionate relationship and we have great sexual chemistry...which I happen to be in the situation right now so I looooooooooove my sex drive... but if he goes anywhere I might just jump off my building. What I am trying to say is PASSION!! It is amazing how different your relationship can be...your life can be ...if there is a lot of passion between you and your partner. All those happy chemicals are sure to come out and drown your brain so at the very least you will feel euphoria.

Good luck to you and I hope this helps!
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